Scriptor ???? - Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Message Board

stickgirl · 06-23-2003, 07:19 PM

I was rereading post for the last several months, kind of board since I got back from therapy. Thinking about how young you were and all the procedures you have had, thought there was another person who had gone thru the sodium what ever it was. There was a person in Canada also that has had all the same kind of treatments you have had also, much older person but prefered to call it CRPS only. Almost sounds as if you two may have the same docs, I hope due to your age that your treated with more compassion.

It's sad that your only 19 (I think you said)and have had so many painful treatments, some not so painful but still it must be harder for you being so young and having RSD for so many yrs.

It's a blessing that you have your writing to keep yourself strong. You mentioned that you have memory loss also, I'm so sorry that it has affected you so badly this quick.

I was just thinking about you, thought I'd say hi hope your day is great

Stickgirl

scriptor · 06-24-2003, 01:15 PM

dear stickgirl,
thank you very much for your kind words. They mean a lot! Don't get me wrong. My doctors are extremly good doctors and care for me deeply. One day I had an appt. with my doc who does the blocks. This was after my operation and it had just spread to my arm. I was going in to inform my doc that it had spread. My hand was freezing and discolored and then would go boiling hot. And of course there was the pain. Some days I couldn't move my arm it hurt so much. Anyways when he saw it change color and temperature, he was convinced. He started crying, not openly, but teas were running down his face. He's been so kind to me through all of this. One time when I went in for a block, the nurses couldn't get an IV. They tried twice, then he tried on the top of my wrist once. It wouldn't work, so he would start to take it out and then move it around. He did it 3 or 4 times, but it was no use. My veins had been poked enough, they were hiding. So another nurse came over and they had to give me an IV on the bottom of my wrist. It was one of the most painful experiences I've had. I think I remember starting to cry into the pillow. It took them 4 tries to get an IV in me that day. Not forgeting all the poking and prodding they do once the neddle's in there and it won't go in. I'm so happy I have my portacath now.

When I first got RSD, I was a mess. I had no money to pay for the pills, I was living on my own with roomates who didn't do anything. They wouldn't clean anything. I was hopping around in front of them cleaning up on crutches. And did they help no. There was one who helped, thank goodness. And when I finally moved out she did too. But the firends that we left think we did them a terrible wrong. And one even has the audasity to say that I just was ready to move out yet. And she was suppossedly my "Best Friend". I realize now what kind of relationship we had. I was always giving and she never gave back.

It was tough. I lost my life as I knew it, my "best friend", another really good friend as well, my independence, everything. And I was in pain all the time. And nobody knew what it was like. Nobody could understand. I would cry for days. I still cry. That will probably never stop. I lost to much for that.

But I gained so much more. I look at everything different now. Just because something bad happened, it doesn't give you the right to just give up. You have to go on and make the best of it.

So that's what I'm trying to do. Through my writing I can make a new world for myself. And hopefully stop the pain if only for a little while.

A lot has happened to me for being so young, as you say. I am now 20 as of April. But maybe think of it this way, all life is an adventure, and this is one hell of an adventure!!!