Lacei2

Ange,

I posted this at the tail end of another thread, but its important to me that you actually see it, and it didn't get lost in the shuffle, so, im posting it directly to you here! I hope you dont mind.

I just wanted to tell you that It's been a really long time since i've seen such an example of what a really good spouse/partner does for the other. You are raising the bar world wide and give 'HOPE' for those of us who wonder if that kind of coupling exsists anymore.

I see so much lonliness that this disease (and so many other life long and serious disesases) can cause in what was beforehand a very strong family!

Sometimes too, you will see families be pulled together by something like this, where the diagnoses is made and the family goes "WHOA! Okay, everything else is now officially petty, we have a really sick family member! *and now thier eyes are opened to what's important".

And then - in some tragic ones, suddenly the family is divorcing; the spouse making really poor and childish excuses saying they've been fighting for a long time, and they were planning on it anyway, pointing fingers at the ill person, saying that it has 'nothing to do with that'.

I know that my relationship is over, and my children and I are moving out of our family home in the next few weeks or so. It absolutly breaks my heart, because I always thought should I end up in the position that I'm in, I would have a "YOU"... Unfortunatly it didn't work out that way for me (yet), and after almost a decade, we're calling it quits. I've recieved no compassion at all since my diagnoses, as a matter of fact, I've been treated like i've just thrown one more coal into the fire by getting sick and 'how dare I'. When I have a really bad flare up, I get an attitude like "how long until a paycheck NOW???" And I just dont want this kind of love. I desearve more... And so does my spouse. Anyway... I wanted to give you your proper kudos, because YOU keep me motivated for finding love... that its OUT there...

But reading your posts, and how you are there for your husband, how you dont run from his illness, but embrace it, and face it head on for him give me hope! Hope that Im not crazy in what I expect from love, from a marriage, and from love! Like I said, you set that bar!!!!

You are his body, when he cant move; his voice, when he cant speak, and his mind; when he cant think. You know when he's hurting and you do everything you can to erase the pain.

You do everything from feeding him when he's hungry, keeping the house clean, and still, no doubt, make sure your still a good mom to the children the two of you brought into the world together; and THAT alone would keep a woman running around full time.

But thats not all, When the going gets rough, you never back down; When he's too proud to tell his employer he's sick and he's in danger of losing his job, You grabbed that bull by the horns and made the call yourself. Never, in my entire life, have I heard of anything so courageous!

You saved your families livlihood, and also, in doing so, you probably saved your husbands pride.

But wait; you probably already knew that when you did it. I know you didn't JUST do it because it put food on the table, although it was a major factor, because I remember you saying that he was always the primary worker in the family, and that he was too proud to tell his employer that he was too sick to do what his job description was... You didn't want to take that away from him. So what did you do???

You studied the law to find out EXACTLY how much time he had to take off to find his baseline health level and balance his meds!!! Instead of letting his boss bully you and your hubby around with threats of letting him go eventually, you told HIM how much time your husband had to take off, and then what your plans were after that! GOOD GIRL!

You adjust his meds, and take the time to learn as much as you can about this crippling illness that so many (including the medical profession) simply dont. And yet, you still remember that HE is the one who is suffering this disease, and that he is a human, and you find compassion, after all that caretaking that you do and find the time to communicate with him in love. What I wouldn't give to have a heart to heart with someone who loved me genuinely!

He loves you and trusts you with his life, and Ange, you've earned it. That doesn't happen every day in this world anymore.

Im so sorry that he didn't get the medical attention that he was promised today. I hope that all in all he's feeling as good as possible in spite of it all.

I wish you luck in changing your doctors! My God it sounds like you've got some real Holy'er then Thou *** holes out there in the medical industry! Well, thats everywhere though, isn't it?

What's Joey's time frame looking like in the job situation? I cant recall the whole "time frame" and how much he's got off and then what happens once that runs out as far as your options go.

But know that I do think about you alot and send you MY caring thoughts! Im a mom with kids (12 and 15) and know how scary it is when it comes to finances and wondering how your gonna come up with them!!!

Your an inspiration to me Ange... Keep up the GREAT work that you do.... I hope Joey gets the block Sympathetic, epidural, or otherwise, WHATEVER is going to help him, ASAP. (I've never had any blocks yet, so I dont know anything about'em)...

Big hugs!
Leanne