I did something I have never done in my life before. "I went through my husbands wallet"
Still don't know what prompt me into doing such a thing, cause I beleive that is personal properity.
To my amazement I found a gal's phone # and Yes I called it.
Phone rings ... she picks up
I ask ... is this so and so.
Yes it is.
Do your know whats his name.
Yes I do
I say I found her # in his wallet and asked if she worked with him.
She responds ....why do want to know?
I say that I need to know.
Again she ask ...why?
I say ...I am his Wife!!
She hangs up so fast that I was shocked.
If Husband say that he only has her # for work reasons, would you beleave him, or think the worst that he was screwing around????
1. No he is not a MGR or need her home #, he's a purchaser/operator front desk.
2. He acts tired all the time, stressed out, no sexual drive. if and when he does it's about every 3 to 4 months.
3. No ...No medical problems....
4. He's only 45 yrs old...
5. Only been married 14 months.
6. We make damn good money between us, so money problems, other than my salary might be better.
I want honest opions....what you think. please state age and whether you are male / Female.
Sorry I didn't make the one statement that is most important.
I DID CONFORNT HIM!!!
His reaction was he needed her home # just in case he need to get a hold of her.
Now ... Let me say first off hand... that I am an Office/Production Mgr. of a printing company, and have held such position for quite some time. I do not carry the guys home # that have or do work for me. His position does not require him to contact field techs for any reason.
His response to confortation was that he needed it to get a hold of her in case anything did come up at work.
Strange ...he works with 18 other people yet he doesn't carry their #'s in his wallet.
So...Hope this clears things a little more.
I am 36 and legally separated for the past 6 year, but in process of divorcing. My x cheated on me and so I left with my 2 kids in tow.
One day I was driving his car and got pulled over and when the police officer asked me for ownership. I went into the glove compartment which was locked and low and behold there were oodles of women numbers. I asked him about them and said that they were just friends....ya o.k.
Anyways, it just got progressively worse. I did eventually catch him and left. It was the same thing when I found that number in his pocket while doing laundry, and yes I did go to the wallet and there was more.
Your conversation with this woman is not good news. Think about it. If in fact it was just a friend why did she hang up on you. Would she not have more repect for her friends wife and would she not know your name or that he has a wife.
The only thing is that you will have to own up to going into the wallet. Obviously, you did that because somewhere, somehow in your heart you knew something may be going on.
I hope that you find the strength to get through this.
I think you are being conned.It's time to let them go thier ways.I was in similar marriages,only they liked to be head hauncho's.I didn't agree so out the doors they went.I have a great husband now,treats me like a queen......
I think deep down inside you knew something was going on otherwise you wouldn't have gone through his wallet. Like you said, you don't normally do things like that...something just compelled you.
In my own personal opinion I think your husband is probably having an affair. If everything was on the up & up with this woman, why did she act so shifty when you called and then hang up on you? Why did she not know you by name if she's only just a friend of your hubby's?
Another thing, if you and your husband have only been married 14 months, why are you only having sex every 3-4 months. In all respects this is still sort of your honeymoon period.
To me all of these events point to something bad. Do some more searching/spying if you have to. You have the right now.
the # isn't for work... i think you know that already..... a woman's intuition is an amazing thing... don't ignore yours!!!! my ex husband had been cheating on me since i was pregnant with my second child..... with that very first indiscretion i knew... i caught him on the phone at my place of business... a pay phone!!!! when confronted he said it was his father on the phone..... i didn't believe him... yet, i stayed with him thru other affairs... ones that i could NEVER truly find out..... but, i knew!!! deep down i knew.... and i wasted alot of time staying with this loser because i didn't trust myself ........ he .. years later... did admit to me EVERYTHING....... so, trust yourself girl!
I'm male, 44 yrs. old. And it sure sounds to me like you've got a problem! If he doesn't care anymore for you than that, then you're not losing much if you get rid of him. Life's too short to waste it.
buck. Good luck to you!
OK, deffinitly sounds like he's cheatin' on you, but there is a good way to find out. Call that # again and ask HER. She will most likely be honest since she isn't going to lose anything if she does tell you the truth. However, there is a chance she may lie about it.
I full heartedly send my sympathies, because I realize how difficult it must be for you to be married for such a small time, and already have a fear of him cheating on you.
I hope for your sake that things turn out for the best and that you aren't dragged through painful sh*t cause of some creep. I send my best wishes and prayers. Stay strong and good luck!
A number for a girl in his wallet. She hangs up on you when you tell her your his wife. Sex only every three or four months? hmmmm. You say you make good money, why not hire a PI so you know for sure? You can even do a little snooping yourself. Do a reverse phone look-up on the internet to find her full name and address (The Ultimate White Pages). Hope it turns out to be nothing but if something is going on you have the right to know. Male, 45, married and would never consider cheating on my wife. I don't understand why some people risk all they have for a fling. Hang in there!
I had a similar experience about two years ago, and I learn a few things about men that I don't understand.
For the record I just want to clear up not all men are the same(I hope).
Ok when a men is cheating or suspected of doing it, the first sign always seems to be a phone number in his wallet or his car, which by the way is another place to look if you are suspicious!
Now, why would anyone who is cheating leave the evidence in their wallet, car, or pants, I mean don't they use their heads, do they want to get caught?
I had talk with several friends and they also had found the evidence on their guys personal belongings.
When comfronted they will deny it, and probably they will not admited until they get caught, and after they put you through hell. ( is this cowardness?)
Ok and if your intuition tells u something is wrong, just learn his schedule, when and what time, find out casually don't accuse. Go to the places he told u he was going to be at, or call at the house of the friend he is supposs to be.
Finally I really hope u learn the truth fast, and that maybe he is telling the truth, I wisht u the best and please keep us posted.
OK..been reading all the repies, all of which makes alot of sense. Like someone said, you must have suspected something otherwise you would not have gone thru his wallet. Sounds like he doesn't want to be honest with you, probably because he is not sure how he wishes to handle all of this. Serious affair or just a fling? He is not wanting to cut the ties with you just yet, as for some reason men feel they must leave the door open which is unfair, but then that is the nature of the "beast".
Again give him the opportunity to come clean..then if not do what you must or you feel comfortable with.
Let us know how all this comes about..and good luck!!
~*if you can't be good..then be good at it!`*
~*if you can't be good..then be good at it!`*
I have read all the post, and trying to keep and open mind and not jumping to anymore conclusions than I already have. I have spoken to hubby and he still denies that anything was going on between this gal and himself. That it was strickly business.
I have to say in all honesty, I have to give him the bennifit of doubt, but I that doesn't mean I am letting my guard down for one minute. I want to make this marriage work and Yes I do love him. No I am not being a fool but giving him a chance to either make it or brake it.
I flatt out told him that if he had or was having an affair best come clean now. That this was his chance to come clean, and I would never bring it up again. ""BUT"" If I find out that he has had or is having an affair I would make him regrett the day he ever met me. I am a very easy going person, I never ask for much, I work hard to get us ahead. I even work second jobs during winter seasons to get ahead.
I went to my Attorney's office Friday and I had her draw up an agreement. "That if this married end due to infedelity, that he would lose all rights to everything." We have an apt. Tueday to sign these papers, it will be his last chance to come clean. I may seem like a fool for giving him another chance but I really am rather conniving when it come to someone mis-placing my trust.
I appreciate all your inputs. *S* It's amazing that this man seems to think I would be the only one to think this way. ""OH!!""" I printed this forum out for him, he was shocked to see the responses. I do believe I have woken this sleeping man up with a cold hard fact of reality, "That no one having heard this tale believes him innocent."
I will post again Wed. to let you know if he signs the paper or if he walks away now. But LADIES and Gentlemen...thank you again for your input.
REMEMBER ... Never just throw it the towel and walk away. Plan your next move very carefully and you will come out on top. Words from my Attorney.... She's a very smart Lady.
Maybe they are just playing games on the phone. You know, to get a kind of sexual excitement without actually being together. This will really sound square, but if you thinkk it in your heart, it is like you really have been with that person. That was a Big paraphrase. Another thing to think about is HIV and Hepatitis C. Both kill you. There is no cure. If you think he has been unfaithful, go with him to give blood. It won't be in his medical record, it is kept very private. If all is o.k., then he has given the gift of life, and maybe even saved a life. If he has caught something, you can protect yourself, and will have a few more answers. 53 years old and married to the same wonderful, fantastic man for 33 years. Oma