Really need help for my sister! - Relationship Health Message Board

weez · 09-29-2003, 03:29 PM

Hi - I'm not at all sure that this is the right place for my post - but I thought I'd begin here at least. I have a younger sister who is 36 and I would like to figure out what is wrong with her. Here are some of my observations - plus observations from close family and friends.

1) she has been "different" since she was a young child - maybe 5 or 6 - argumentative, selfish, manipulative
2) still lives at home with my mom at age 36 and uses every excuse there is so she doesn't have to move out - tried to commit suicide every time my mom seriously asked her to leave (these attempts were not very "serious" - took 50 asperins and called her best friend)etc.
3)got an associates degree at college yet still doesn't have an established job or career
4) has poor social skills - won't sit around and chat with relatives at Xmas for example - just goes off by herself. Also has trouble 'reading' people and the general situation
5) tends to go on and on about things that the listener could care less about - called me up to tell me about her new face cream and listed all the 200 or so ingredients
6) has always had trouble with men - never been married or had very many long-term relationships - even though she's VERY attractive
7) has no hobbies and only 1 or 2 aquantances
8) has had lots of plastic surgery and talks about wanting more though she can't support herself
9) is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. She went to about 50 different walk-in clinics and got many prescriptions for Vicodin.
10) has stolen my moms jewellry and sold it - recently charged $5000 to my moms VISA and had the statements sent to a PO box number
11) I have 3 other sisters who are totally normal and we were raised in a great family. As I said she has been weird and difficult since she was very young and it has just become more serious with age.
12) she lies A LOT
13) has poor attention span - can't read a book or follow a movie
14) she thinks that she's normal and always has a TON of excuses to defend her behavior.
15) drives around with a ton of old trash in her car - seriously - old, old food containers and crap everywhere, covering everything - it's shocking actually!

This is just the tip of the iceberg - I could write a book. She has sought psycological help in the past but according to her nothing has really helped - she was treated as having depression, bipolar and BPD (which she told us was later ruled out) and none of the meds really helped much.

ANY advice or how to proceed would be appreciated.
weez

[This message has been edited by weez (edited 09-29-2003).]

KTUC · 10-06-2003, 08:30 AM

It sound like your sister may have a serious mental illness in addition to some personality disorder traits.

Does she have a case manager? You can have her evaluated at a psych ward the next time she throws a fit or threatens suicide, and get a case manager assigned. A case manager would not only be a go between with a psychiatrist, but can help find a sheltered environment for your sister.

I think if your sister kept working with a psychiatrist, not a PCP, on meds, she would find some that help, but you never know if you don't take them as prescribed.

You have a serious problem on your hands and your ma isn't getting any younger. Which one of you is lined up to take over? Hmm I thought, so, so better get busy!

KTUC · 10-06-2003, 08:35 AM

PS.

I am talking about a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, or a family doctor. If you get her a case manager, her psychotropic meds will be supplied at no cost.

I am talking long term, lifetime interventions for your sister. Believe me, every state in this country has help for people with serious mental illness, such as you discribe.

weez · 10-14-2003, 11:33 AM

Thanks for your advice. It's going to be hard to help her since I am in a different country (she's in Canada)but I'll keep trying.

weez

Redhead23 · 10-15-2003, 06:19 AM

Sounds like a personality disorder, although more severe cases of ADD (you mentioned poor attention span) if left untreated and unsupported can also lead to very similar symptoms (and is often misdiagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder), especially in combination with learning disabilities and problems like conduct disorder (CD) and Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD).