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Old 12-05-2003, 10:11 PM   #1
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cookiemonster123 HB User
Steve -- what to do?

Alright, so I'm a little confused.. I just don't know what to do. I really like this guy, Steve, whom I have 2 classes with and sit next to in Science. Because I can't explain this in a better way, I'll type out 1 of the notes he gave me the other day, and what I replied to him.. it will better explain the situation.

Steve --> "I was thinking about what you said yesterday. I can really see why you usually get what you want. You are a beautiful, smart, and funny girl. It is nothing you have done to keep me from asking you out. I have had some bad relationships in the past and I have become kind of gun shy. I do like you but I think we should "take it slow". We are already friends and I don't want to rush into a relationship that will leave me bitter if it doesn't work out. Lets make sure we really want to do this before we rush to any hearty decisions. What do you think?"

My Reply --> "What do I think? Your one of the smartest people I now. Actually, I've never known anyone quite like you, and I know that's why I like you. If we ever went out or anything, I can't promise nothing would go wrong - so I think your exactly right. I've had bad relationships too - infact it took me a year and a half to get over someone that really hurt me, but that was awhile ago. I wouldn't want to stop being your friend if something went wrong, but at the same time I like you. I think you understand what I mean. It's been awhile besides any guy besides Trevor could make me smile, but your pretty good at it too. I think your making the right decision - but do you ever think their could be something?"

And finally (Steve) --> "I don't even know what to write to that. That is exactly what I needed to hear, or read. I think we should really talk about this. What's your #? Mine is ***-****."

I have found myself thinking about Steve a lot lately.. I called last night, but he was at Mock Trial. I talked to him today, and he said he would call me tonight.. I also told him I knew he probably wouldn't, and he didn't. So I called him around 8:30 but he wasn't home. He's a really busy person, but I just doon't know what he's feeling. I feel, like I'm running him over or something with how I feel.. but then in these notes he makes me feel good. I can't explain how much I want to give a relationship with him a try.. but what do I do now? Wait it out, give him some space for awhile, or nag him until we talk about it? *Sigh*

Sry for the long post, but the responses will mean so much to me. Thx
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Old 12-06-2003, 12:12 AM   #2
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tropicalfish HB User
Re: Steve -- what to do?

If you guys are in class together, then chances are, classes are almost over. It seems to me that he's afraid of losing touch after class ends. This said, I think he's interested, or else he wouldn't have given you his number (well, that and he thinks you're beautiful, smart, and funny.. complements don't get better than that). Also, at this point, I think he just wants to get to know you a tad better and talk about this situation in order to identify where he stands with his apprehension.

Also, if he's hesitant on asking you out, he's probably going to want things to move at a slower pace --even as we speak! Don't over-call. Give it a few days before you contact him again (perhaps over the weekend). Who knows, by that time maybe he could've already found some time in his busy schedule to call you.

 
Old 12-06-2003, 12:52 AM   #3
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Want 2 B Well HB User
Re: Steve -- what to do?

I would give him some space. He cares for you but not in the way you want right now.
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Old 12-06-2003, 09:56 AM   #4
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Re: Steve -- what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tropicalfish
Also, if he's hesitant on asking you out, he's probably going to want things to move at a slower pace --even as we speak! Don't over-call. Give it a few days before you contact him again (perhaps over the weekend). Who knows, by that time maybe he could've already found some time in his busy schedule to call you.
That's what I was thinking.. about giving him the weekend w\o me calling (if he calls, then I will be more then surprised.. he never uses the phone either) And then, just talk to him about it on Monday. Thx!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Want 2 B Well
I would give him some space. He cares for you but not in the way you want right now.
As much as I want him to care for me right now, in the same way I already care for him.. that sounds good.

Thx for the great reply's guys... they are really helpful, especially since I'm taking a hard fall for this guy.

Any more are very welcomed
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Old 12-06-2003, 10:11 AM   #5
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Summer Girl HB User
Re: Steve -- what to do?

You got great advice. Don't call him. And, let him make the next call to you.
Don't let yourself be the only one making the calls. If you do, it won't help your situation and things will go down hill fast.
I was in a situation where I kept on getting phone calls from this one guy who I went to school with. I got really fed up and it affected our relationship.

 
Old 12-06-2003, 10:54 AM   #6
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cookiemonster123 HB User
Re: Steve -- what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer Girl
You got great advice. Don't call him. And, let him make the next call to you.
Don't let yourself be the only one making the calls. If you do, it won't help your situation and things will go down hill fast.
I was in a situation where I kept on getting phone calls from this one guy who I went to school with. I got really fed up and it affected our relationship.
That's what I figured.. because, this woman, named Kristy it always calling my father. And so, I was talking to him about it one day, and he said he liked her, but would probably like her a lot more if she didn't call so much. Once she called at 6:00 AM on Saturday, so my father told her not to call on weekends before 9.. and, the next weekend she called at 9:05.

I haven't called him obsessively, but it's time to let him think awhile, I believe.
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Old 12-08-2003, 05:44 PM   #7
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Re: Steve -- what to do?

Well I haven't seen him since Friday.. I'm hoping he is back tomorrow. Don't know where he was today, but I will wait until tomorrow to find out. Hopefully he won't be gone again. Should I say anything about a possible "us" or our feelings.. or should I just lay off for awhile? I'm afraid if I do that he will slip evern further away, but I just don't know.
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Old 12-10-2003, 03:31 PM   #8
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Re: Steve -- what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiemonster123
Well I haven't seen him since Friday.. I'm hoping he is back tomorrow. Don't know where he was today, but I will wait until tomorrow to find out. Hopefully he won't be gone again. Should I say anything about a possible "us" or our feelings.. or should I just lay off for awhile? I'm afraid if I do that he will slip evern further away, but I just don't know.
Replying to my own thread.. he was sick, with strep.. stayed home because he said he "felt like his lungs were exploding and was coughing up a storm" lol.. but we were talking today, and he's a part of our convo..

Me: I told you that I knew you wouldn't call
Steve: I do have excuses (listed them out day by day)
Me: You don't have to explain, I'm not someone who's going to hate you over it - it's not important. I don't expect anything to happen between us.
Steve: Why not.
Me: Because... I have that feeling.

Alright, that was the gist (sp?) of it. I said most of that to get a little rise out of him.. I have no idea where we stand, or what he really thinks. But I don't really know how to bring it up, without looking.. obsessive to him?
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Old 12-10-2003, 05:31 PM   #9
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Summer Girl HB User
Re: Steve -- what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiemonster123

Me: You don't have to explain, I'm not someone who's going to hate you over it - it's not important. I don't expect anything to happen between us.
Steve: Why not.
Me: Because... I have that feeling.
That statement right above says it all. You told him flat out that you are interested in him. You gave him way more than enough signs that you do like him and you want to have more than a friendship with him. The ball is in his court hon, if he is interested in you he will let you know.
I suggest that you not chase after him anymore.
A question for you, when you said that you don't expect anything to happen between you and him, and he said why not, then you said because you have a feeling, what did he say to you after that?

 
Old 12-10-2003, 05:51 PM   #10
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Re: Steve -- what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Summer Girl
A question for you, when you said that you don't expect anything to happen between you and him, and he said why not, then you said because you have a feeling, what did he say to you after that?
Hmm, he made a joke about it and then our professor started giving us a lecture. So, nothing really.
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Old 12-11-2003, 09:29 AM   #11
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Re: Steve -- what to do?

Any more updates on Steve? I want to know what happens? I had the same situation with a Steve as well. We were in 10th grade. Keep updating.

 
Old 12-11-2003, 03:15 PM   #12
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Re: Steve -- what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Himes
Any more updates on Steve? I want to know what happens? I had the same situation with a Steve as well. We were in 10th grade. Keep updating.
He's AN ***. He's not good enough for me... actually, I'm saying that to make myself feel better. Today he told me that "he liked me, but didnt want a girlfriend" So, I told him that "he would get a girlfriend once he found someone he liked enough," and replied with a "yes"

So.. basically - he doesn't like me enough.
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Old 12-11-2003, 08:21 PM   #13
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Re: Steve -- what to do?

I went through this as well, it really pi**ed me off. Why like a person and tell them when you have no intention of doing something about it? He knows how I feel and we are still the best of friends. I got over it eventually, although we still like each other very much, we realized neither of us are in the best positions to start a relationship. I think we are also both frightended of what would happen if we did start dating. We are the best of friends, I would hate to lose that. I bet Steve knows how much of a a** he is, and if he doesn't, screw him...he definitly does NOT deserve you!

 
Old 12-12-2003, 01:25 AM   #14
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tropicalfish HB User
Re: Steve -- what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesnowflake
I went through this as well, it really pi**ed me off. Why like a person and tell them when you have no intention of doing something about it? He knows how I feel and we are still the best of friends. I got over it eventually, although we still like each other very much, we realized neither of us are in the best positions to start a relationship. I think we are also both frightended of what would happen if we did start dating. We are the best of friends, I would hate to lose that. I bet Steve knows how much of a a** he is, and if he doesn't, screw him...he definitly does NOT deserve you!
bluesnowflake is right on. This guy sucks. Forget him.. you are obviously too good for his type.

 
Old 12-12-2003, 05:53 AM   #15
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cookiemonster123 HB User
Re: Steve -- what to do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tropicalfish
bluesnowflake is right on. This guy sucks. Forget him.. you are obviously too good for his type.
Yeah, that could very well be the case.
But because of how I am, I was telling my best friend Tyler all about.. when we decided that he would just give Steve a call and talk about it. I can never just leave things as they are, without a little bit of closure.. So, according to Tyler, as he tells me; they talked, everything went fine but he really believes Steve that he just doesn't have the time right now. Steve made a point of telling Tyler he liked me, "and if he was going to be with anyone, it would be with me." And for once w\ a guy, I'm having the feeling of truth here.

Ah, such childish games.. Great fun - lol.
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