I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We live about an hour away, for the last year and a half. before that, I was 6 hours,then 2 hours, away. So I aws used to seeing him only every other weekend, or whenever. But we also called each other daily, sent emails, etc.
now, I get nothing. i haven't seen him ina couple weeks, and he's made effort to. Well, he knows I'm coming over for Christmas, so maybe I'm over reacting. I tried callign him the past couple days, and he wasn't home (after work). he went out to eat, then to a hockey game. Granted, these were last minute things, but I still feel left out and hurt. I don't know if I'm just being needy and nagging (I REALLY Don't want to be) or if I'm justified. This is just an example. There are several others I could give.
I feel like we aren't close anymore. I got him some really nice/expensive christmas gifts (over 650 dollars). I dont want them, so he's getting them anyways :-) I'm also staying at his families house for christmas. I'm probably going to break up with him afterwards. I'm just not sure I want to. To eb honest, I've wanted to SEVERAL times the past few years. It would never work out, as we have different beliefs, anywyas, so I dont know why I'm taking it so hard. I just feel like he's rejecting me. How do guys show they love you?? And why do men CHEAT?
I dotn mean cheat cheat, I mean cheat at who they are. They basically lie to women when they buy them gifts and treat them nice at the start of a relationship...then stop. Grrr
Am I selfish for wanting him to show me he cares?? In the past say 3 months, we've been out to lunch maybe 2-3 times. And he went to mexico with his family.I was invited, but I couldn't afford it. He makes $50,000 a year, I make about 30. The trip was $1500. He didnt want to go himself, as it was expensive, but did. I don't hold it against him that he didn't offer to pay for me (haha, I really don't :-). But you would think he'd WANT me to go..wouldn't you? He did say he wish i'd goen after he got back..but it was a little late.
Anyways. Relationships are confusing!
Last edited by eternitybc; 12-23-2003 at 12:27 PM.
I don't really see what you're confused about. You said you have different belief and it just wouldn't work out. Dating is like test driving a car. He obviously isn't the model you want. I'd ditch the whole Christmas idea, take back the gifts, and move on to a newer model. It's kind of scarey, moving away from the familiar, but it's what people do when they find themselves with someone not suited to them. Good luck.
It almost sounds like you are upset that he is dumping you before you can dump him. Does it really matter? This relationship is in the tubes and someone needs to dump somebody. Return the gifts - $650?????
If you are going to break up giving him $650 gifts and staying at his parents house might make you more depressed about the whole thing.
Return the gifts and go stay with someone else whom you care for and they care for you for Christmas. Do you have family or other friends that might appreciate a visit?
You are not selfish. You are with someone who is not right for you. You keep trying to force it. You sound tired of trying to make something out of what little he gives.
I am sorry and I hope you figure things out.
__________________
Married 1990
2 daughters, 7 & 12
Suffer from allergies & other aliments
Quit smoking June 3 2003
Will be 39 in Feb.
Scared to turn 40
I agree, do NOT give him all the X-mas gifts until you guys can meet face to face and talk about where this relationship is going. Why would you spend so much $$$ on him, then break up?
Yes it does appear maybe he is losing a bit of interest. Why are you guys living an hour apart after dating 4 years? If either of you were interested in a future together, you would think after 4 years you would be living close to each other, or even together.
Call him and tell him that you would like to get together and talk. You need to ask him exactly what is going on.
Also I do think it's a bit wierd that he didn't offer to help pay for you to go on the vacation. He must have not wanted you to go that bad.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Want 2 B Well
If you are going to break up giving him $650 gifts and staying at his parents house might make you more depressed about the whole thing.
Return the gifts and go stay with someone else whom you care for and they care for you for Christmas. Do you have family or other friends that might appreciate a visit?
You are not selfish. You are with someone who is not right for you. You keep trying to force it. You sound tired of trying to make something out of what little he gives.
You're right :-) Most of you. The ipaq, which was $550, was because it's the only thing he asked for. And I got it because I know he got me an MP3 player and a ring.
I think I'll talk to him befor I do anything else :-)
It's kind of scarey, moving away from the familiar, but it's what people do when they find themselves with someone not suited to them. Good luck.
