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Old 01-25-2004, 11:12 AM   #1
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Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

Is a 10 year age difference between the guy and girl (guy 10 years older than girl) too much for a serious relationship to work? I have had my share of women think I am "too old" for them. How shallow! Is it an unreal expectation for a late-30s guy to have a serious relationship with a late-20s girl??

 
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Old 01-25-2004, 11:49 AM   #2
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

More info please. What do you mean by serious relationship? What do these women mean by "too old": is it really an age thing or is it an attitude thing? Have you tried having relationships with women who are your age or older, and what did they say?

Thanks in advance for sharing,

Marj

 
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Old 01-25-2004, 01:08 PM   #3
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1965_Bruce
Is a 10 year age difference between the guy and girl (guy 10 years older than girl) too much for a serious relationship to work? I have had my share of women think I am "too old" for them. How shallow! Is it an unreal expectation for a late-30s guy to have a serious relationship with a late-20s girl??
If it were 18 and 28, then perhaps that would be more cut and dry. Its probably more on a case by case basis. You seem to be about the same age as I am (37) and I date a 29 year old. Age difference is no issue in our case.

 
Old 01-25-2004, 01:50 PM   #4
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

I agree, it depends on the age of the people in question, and where they are in their lives. 18 and 28 is different than 38 and 48. My bf is 25, and I am 38. Most of his relationships have involved older women. He's not into nightclubs and is pretty old-fashioned , so it works for him. I guess it could work both ways, if a person is older, and doesn't want to settle down and just have fun, maybe dating younger people would be better. I think these type of people are few and far between though, and most people are more compatible when they find someone close to their own age.

 
Old 01-25-2004, 02:32 PM   #5
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1965_Bruce
Is a 10 year age difference between the guy and girl (guy 10 years older than girl) too much for a serious relationship to work? I have had my share of women think I am "too old" for them. How shallow! Is it an unreal expectation for a late-30s guy to have a serious relationship with a late-20s girl??

I think it's a perfect age difference. Guys are always so much more imature than woman... it seems that at the age of 30 is when guys FINALLY start to level out, and kind of start seeing eye to eye with woman, and what we want out of realtionships...

Sorry..I didn't mean to destroy guys or anything, but I am dating someone who is the same age I am, and sometimes I feel like I am dealing with a 18 year old boy...

Therefore, I think 10 years is a great age difference! Go for it~

 
Old 01-25-2004, 03:46 PM   #6
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

I would put a few feelers out about her relationship, or possible lack of one, with her father.
Then go from there.
I'm not saying that all women who date older men are looking for a father figure, or that it would even be a problem.
But it might help to understand other issues that would come up in a potential relationship with her...

 
Old 01-25-2004, 08:46 PM   #7
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

I, an early bloomer, am 27 and my husband, a late bloomer, is 46. We are totally happy and so far, the age difference is a non-issue for us. My previous husband was 10 years older than my current husband, and he was too old for me. I think it depends more on where both people have been in life than the number. My husband and I are excitedly awaiting the birth of our first child. It's his first marriage.

 
Old 01-25-2004, 11:11 PM   #8
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

What I mean by a "serious relationship" is basically marriage & family.

Jessie, I guess I'm a late bloomer like your DH. I just dont personally know any 10-year difference couples.

I don't want to come across as shallow and certainly nothing against late-30s single women, but most single women I've met who are this age have children, because after all late 30s is getting late in the pregnancy game. Whereas the younger women I have met are still looking forward to those years and probably still building up their careers and enjoying their "youth". When I ever do get married I **want** to have a family and preferably not be a step-dad! I realize I was not serious about searching out the right one back then, but I've grown up - my future means a lot to me - but there's still time to enjoy the beauty and energy of youth.

 
Old 01-25-2004, 11:35 PM   #9
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

The age thing is a total case-by-case issue, and first of all, I think it's important to make sure that the girl giving you that line *isn't* just giving you that line b/c she's really not interested and doesn't know of another way to blow ya off.

If it really *IS* the AGE that's the issue, then I guess that should already speak volumes to indicate where the two of you are in terms of your lives, and how compatible (or not compatible) the two of you really are.

Couples who are truly meant to be together, or who have a good "fit" with one another, usually are at the same "stage" in their lives, at which point the age issue is no longer that valid. I've known several successful couples where the guy was 14, 13, or 8 years older than the gal, and all of these marriages have been very solid and fantastic.

Good luck on your search for Ms. Right! I'm sure she's out there somewhere!

 
Old 01-26-2004, 07:11 PM   #10
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

1965_Bruce...My guess is that you are a professional who comes in contact with other professional late 20-something women who are getting to be in the prime of their lives in all ways. Quite honestly, when I was in my late 20's I was not one of those who wanted to settle down and have babies, having just received my professional degree and on my way to being in the top 2% of the earnings bracket. Now solidly in my 30's and have had time to figure out what is really important in life (God, family, Ironman) I'm looking forward to the possibility of creating the next generation with the love of my life, who is quite a bit younger (but catching up!).

Anyway, I'm sorry about your current run of luck. Had I met a quality man who wanted a serious relationship (by your definition) earlier, I would have happily exchanged high-powered career for being wife and mom. So, keep your chin up and keep your eyes open!

Good luck,

Marj

 
Old 01-27-2004, 04:39 PM   #11
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1965_Bruce
Is a 10 year age difference between the guy and girl (guy 10 years older than girl) too much for a serious relationship to work? I have had my share of women think I am "too old" for them. How shallow! Is it an unreal expectation for a late-30s guy to have a serious relationship with a late-20s girl??

Nothing wrong with that...

Ps; Late twenties, she is young woman. A guy's a guy and gal's a gal unless you want her to call you pal. I would not call a man in his late 30's a boy...unless of course he's acting that way (snicker)

 
Old 02-07-2004, 09:17 PM   #12
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1965_Bruce
Is a 10 year age difference between the guy and girl (guy 10 years older than girl) too much for a serious relationship to work? I have had my share of women think I am "too old" for them. How shallow! Is it an unreal expectation for a late-30s guy to have a serious relationship with a late-20s girl??
If she was in high school or maybe even a beginning college student and you were ten years older than her, than I could see the wrong in that. Not just cuz she is still a kid, but because shes probably in a party stage while your looking for commitment and a serious relationship, but in your case I see nothing wrong with it. Your both old enough to be fully matured and as long as you two love and care about one another, who cares if your 10 years older. Its better your older than she older than you. Its commom for women to date older men, except for the few here and there like demi moore and ashton kutcher and so on. Geez how does she do that! Good luck with your gf

 
Old 02-08-2004, 04:34 AM   #13
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

do you have a particular girl in mind or are you just looking for a younger woman? You should get to know a person even someone your age. You seem to only want someone younger than you. Are you one of those guys who only go after a woman for the way you think she makes you by being with her? Younger's not always better. What's going to happen when they get ten years older? Are you going to look for another 29 year old?

 
Old 02-08-2004, 08:24 AM   #14
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Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

my live in BF of 9 years was great when we first started living together hes 9 years older also) but now that he is almost 50 well lets just say it isnt working anymore (nothing works very well if you know what i mean lol) and all he wants to do now is sit on couch or shop on ebay thats it! so unless you plan on things like that 10 years down the road be prepared for the woman to get restless when you dont want to do anyhting anymore.

 
Old 02-08-2004, 10:25 PM   #15
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1965_Bruce HB User
Re: Age Difference - How Much Is Too Much?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cloverberry
do you have a particular girl in mind or are you just looking for a younger woman? You should get to know a person even someone your age. You seem to only want someone younger than you. Are you one of those guys who only go after a woman for the way you think she makes you by being with her? Younger's not always better. What's going to happen when they get ten years older? Are you going to look for another 29 year old?
No, right now I'm not with a particular person. I'm not looking for someone younger just so i look good with a young girl on my arm when i go out. It's my long term goal in life. I want to have a family, but I really want children of my own and not stepchildren. Its just a personal preference i guess. And although there might be a mid-30s single woman waiting to find Mr. Right somewhere the majority of ones I find are divorced w/children by this age. Maybe its a bit psychological too. I did not date a lot in my 20s and i want to experience what I have missed before it is too late in the sands of time. If I meet the right one I won't be looking for another when she is ten years older.

 
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