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Old 04-15-2004, 12:07 PM   #1
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excaliburgrl HB User
little sorry messages

hi all,
started a new post since my other one was getting so long....but i've noticed the last few days that lance has been doing little things around the house...maybe trying to say he's sorry...

like yesterday, he ran an errand that i asked him to do a month ago and he forgot about...then he burned me off three cds i wanted...(i'm so naughty for getting free music)

but then today when he was home at lunch, he made one of those hungry man lunches...i kept staring longingly at it cause we didn't have any more chicken and he ended up feeding me more than he ate himself! i didn't even ask for some...

and my hubby has never been big on going out and doing things...one reason is we've NEVER had the money to just go out and the other is he's happy sitting at home...but he started talking about all the things he was going to take me out to do this summer...things i have mentioned in the past i enjoy...miniture golf, go carts, movies...stuff like that...and he even said he'll take me the 1 1/2 east to myrtle beach...i haven't been there yet...

on a sad note though...his managers have been dropping hints to him all week about tdys...now's not the right time for that...i just wish there was some way i could talk to his commander and explain the situation...but the military doesn't work like that...

 
Old 04-15-2004, 12:22 PM   #2
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: little sorry messages

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
hi all,
started a new post since my other one was getting so long....but i've noticed the last few days that lance has been doing little things around the house...maybe trying to say he's sorry...

like yesterday, he ran an errand that i asked him to do a month ago and he forgot about...then he burned me off three cds i wanted...(i'm so naughty for getting free music)

but then today when he was home at lunch, he made one of those hungry man lunches...i kept staring longingly at it cause we didn't have any more chicken and he ended up feeding me more than he ate himself! i didn't even ask for some...

and my hubby has never been big on going out and doing things...one reason is we've NEVER had the money to just go out and the other is he's happy sitting at home...but he started talking about all the things he was going to take me out to do this summer...things i have mentioned in the past i enjoy...miniture golf, go carts, movies...stuff like that...and he even said he'll take me the 1 1/2 east to myrtle beach...i haven't been there yet...

on a sad note though...his managers have been dropping hints to him all week about tdys...now's not the right time for that...i just wish there was some way i could talk to his commander and explain the situation...but the military doesn't work like that...
No, it doesn't. But you and he are eventually going to have to spend some time apart. It might be good, really.

You aren't far from me excaliber, if you are going to Myrtle Beach. Are you in SC or GA?

 
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Old 04-15-2004, 12:30 PM   #3
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eightball61 HB User
Re: little sorry messages

They don't work like that...My sisters husband is in the Coast Guard(stationed at home) and when she delivered for pregnancy he only got a few days to be and see then they shipped him out for 2 weeks to patrol the east coast.

 
Old 04-15-2004, 12:42 PM   #4
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: little sorry messages

i'm in sc...close to colombia....i wish the military worked that way...i'm gonna talk to family support center soon though about councelling for me...

i spent most of the night last night in the bedroom bawling......i ended up writing six pages in my journal...

 
Old 04-15-2004, 12:45 PM   #5
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: little sorry messages

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
i'm in sc...close to colombia....i wish the military worked that way...i'm gonna talk to family support center soon though about councelling for me...

i spent most of the night last night in the bedroom bawling......i ended up writing six pages in my journal...
My brother did his AIT training at Fort Jackson...

I think some counseling would do wonders for you. I really think you AND lance should go. But I think you might need to go separately first. THEN do the sessions together. Is he willing to go with you??

 
Old 04-15-2004, 12:51 PM   #6
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: little sorry messages

he doesn't WANT to go, but i'm sure if i said that i really wanted him to, he would...

i know some distance might help us, it just seems like now is not the right time...especially since i don't have a job yet...i would go days without speaking to a human being face to face...and someone talking to my dog doesn't seem to help...lol

 
Old 04-15-2004, 01:01 PM   #7
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: little sorry messages

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
he doesn't WANT to go, but i'm sure if i said that i really wanted him to, he would...

i know some distance might help us, it just seems like now is not the right time...especially since i don't have a job yet...i would go days without speaking to a human being face to face...and someone talking to my dog doesn't seem to help...lol
Talking with your dog doesn't help?!?!
I talk to my babies all the time. Their love is so unconditional!! And they are so snuggly to boot!!!

 
Old 04-15-2004, 01:14 PM   #8
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: little sorry messages

my doggie is the best...he licks my face when i cry...and when i'm angry he's outta there...he hates to see him momma angry...

i finally let lance hold me in his arms last night...took a lot though...i'm still not ready to do more than that though...

i was so down last night, i didn't even sleep in the bedroom...

 
Old 04-15-2004, 01:38 PM   #9
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eightball61 HB User
Re: little sorry messages

Dogs are the best...None as mans best friend but woman's also. They are always there for us...Remember Lassie?

 
Old 04-15-2004, 01:43 PM   #10
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Blastoff9600 HB UserBlastoff9600 HB User
Re: little sorry messages

Actually it depends on what branch you are in and what area you are at. I am sorry I cant remember what branch your dh is in but sometimes you can talk to a commander and something can be worked out. The Air Force is big on family and do go out of their way at times to help families that are having either marital problems or health issues. Also dpending on what base you are can effect things as well. At our old base if a guy's wife was pregnant he wasnt sent on tdy until after the baby was born and even then they tried hard to make sure the father didnt get sent on any tdys for a couple of months after the birth. The base that we are at now isnt like that unless the mother is on bedrest. I know with my second son it was a high risk pregnancy though nto on bedrest and dh was still sent on several tdys during the pregnancy. He made it home two weeks before our second son was born and then was tdy again before he was even two months old. Though I do know several guys here who have avoided tdys because of marital problems. Though some of them only seem to have problems when the tdy isnt a good one. By good I mean able to make money---such as Germany,Japan and other such places. But the second a good tdy comes up their marital problems are gone.
I have also had times where either I have wound up in the ER or one of our sons have. Within a few minutes of returning for the ER I normally get a call or someone stops by to ask if I want my Dh to come from tdy. that is like right now I am havng some tests done and I know if I get the slightest bit of bad news from these test I know Dh will be allowed to stay home until things are cleared up.
The Navy from what I have seen with dh's cousin sucks when it comes to family. He has three kids and he missed the birth of his first,his second he missed most of the pregnancy,the birth and the whole first year of that child's life. The third yet again he missed the birth but got to be there about three months after she was born and was home for about three months. I have heard many other stories of navy not being so great with families.

It cant hurt to at least try and see if he will talk to his commander,the worse they can tell him is no and that he will go on tdy but you wont know unless you get him to ask.


I know long enough already but I though of something to add.
Every time dh goes tdy I go into hiding for several days. If my oldest wasnt in school I would bet that I wouldnt leave the house at all for about the first four days of a tdy. Most of my neighbors I cant stand and the one I do talk to and consider a friend is moving into their own house come June. She does the same thing when her Dh goes tdy. We call it hibernating as a joke.
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Last edited by Blastoff9600; 04-15-2004 at 01:53 PM.

 
Old 04-15-2004, 02:33 PM   #11
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: little sorry messages

he's in air force blast off...

 
Old 04-16-2004, 10:29 AM   #12
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Re: little sorry messages

last night lance said something that really struck me...i had my dachshund in my arms and i told him that i was going to cuddle him forever and never let him out of my arms...lance looked at tweek (the dog) and said "lucky dog, i wish i could trade you places"...now time for the flashback...

when i first met lance i was holding my dog in my arms (the same dog)...i was taking tweek for a walk and his little legs were tired so i was carrying him...kinda defies the purpose of a walk doesn't it...lol...but anyhow, the first thing lance said when he saw me was "wish i could be your dog"...it was such a cheesy line but it reeled me right in cause it made me feel special...

last night when he made that similar comment, it just hit me hard...it was like a spark of the lance i fell in love with was shining thru...like the lance i want back is trying to resurface...

sure lance tells me i'm pretty all the time, but he does it so often it's almost repitative to me...like it's just something he does outta habit...so when he said that i'd flooded me so much i didn't know what to say back...

 
Old 04-16-2004, 10:45 AM   #13
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eightball61 HB User
Re: little sorry messages

He will come come little by little...You are both in a rough time and there will be little things that will bring up the past and how he was back then.

Remember this is the man you fell in love with. Deep down he is still the same person but being together his personality or character may have change to adjust to you both living together. Now his character is single out and these little thing will reapair to you.

There is love here and things are going well.... It takes time but the progress is going good

 
Old 04-16-2004, 10:47 AM   #14
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: little sorry messages

oh i hope you're right...

i know the man i fell in love with is still in there somewhere...i just hope the bad lance takes a hike cause i like the old one so much better...

 
Old 04-16-2004, 11:04 AM   #15
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eightball61 HB User
Re: little sorry messages

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
oh i hope you're right...

i know the man i fell in love with is still in there somewhere...i just hope the bad lance takes a hike cause i like the old one so much better...

The old Lance is still there and you saw it with the dog. He just took the wrong turn in his path towards life.

During our life journey's we all end up taking a wrong path from time to time and if we get lost we just turn around to go back on the right trail. At times we do get so lost thats its hard to get back but with the help of other along the way it can happen. Just stay positive

 
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