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Old 04-15-2004, 03:19 PM   #1
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Leean HB User
Bad behavoirs

There's this guy I've known for a while now. He's always verbally attacking me and sometimes physically throwing me around ( ONLY around our close friends). Other times when he talks or we're alone he acts like he likes me too. He started it, but now we only communicate by instigating each other. But one day he told me he loved me. I believe him but now I don't know what to do.He has a few girlfriends too which is unsettling. There's alot of things I DON"T like about him but I know I feel "something". I can't bring myself to "say" much less "do" anything back. I can't stand him but I can't get him out of my mind. Is this love or what and what the heck should I do?

 
Old 04-15-2004, 04:21 PM   #2
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leean
There's this guy I've known for a while now. He's always verbally attacking me and sometimes physically throwing me around ( ONLY around our close friends). Other times when he talks or we're alone he acts like he likes me too. He started it, but now we only communicate by instigating each other. But one day he told me he loved me. I believe him but now I don't know what to do.He has a few girlfriends too which is unsettling. There's alot of things I DON"T like about him but I know I feel "something". I can't bring myself to "say" much less "do" anything back. I can't stand him but I can't get him out of my mind. Is this love or what and what the heck should I do?
NO it is definitely not love.
Your his punching bag.
He's a show off in front of his friends and your the Center of his Joke.
He keeps you in line privately so publicly he can bully you in front of his or your friends. And making a laughing Stock out of you.
NO this is not Love
Don't know what is in your mind to think this is Normal.
NO, if he loved you, he wouldn't have other girlfriends and you would not be his JOKE or Punching Bag.
YES, you can get him out of your mind. Because you are not a JOKE to be messed with. You are NOT to be his Punching Bag...
He is a bully and do you really like bullies?
If you don't want to be the Center of His Joke and His Punching Bag then
you know what Needs to Be Done and What you Have to DO.

 
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Old 04-15-2004, 04:55 PM   #3
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promisez HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

What GirlHarley said. And as for what to do, run, unless you enjoy verbal abuse and being treated like a dog. Actually he probably would treat his dog better if he has one.

 
Old 04-15-2004, 05:08 PM   #4
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Salinas1 HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

Has to be a troll.

 
Old 04-15-2004, 10:31 PM   #5
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Weeping Willow HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

I would let this loser know that the next time he thought of "throwing" you around that you will take something large and heavy and bash his brains out.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 04:44 AM   #6
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Art_930 HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

Why are you even NEAR this guy?!!!

What you are feeling is definitely not love. And he does not love you. When someone loves you, they want you to be happy, successful and full of the joy of life. Do you feel that way?

What's happening to you is emotional abuse. He has got you believing that you don't deserve someone who respects you, who thinks everything you do is wonderful, and who considers himself lucky that you are with him.

Get away from this guy NOW!

 
Old 04-16-2004, 06:02 AM   #7
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PeggyHarmon HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

No way this is love!!! He's a coward picking on someone smaller to become bigger in his own eyes and those who watch him, which gains you no respect!!!! Lady, it only gets worse if this is the begining of your journey with him. Get rid of this jerk!!!! For your own safety.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 06:19 AM   #8
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

I'm with Salinas. Troll.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 07:13 AM   #9
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

Hard to change a guy like this... If he has to show off to have others think he is machoman or superman that is not love. Yes, he may love you but this dude is showing it in the wrong way. What is he thinking....."Oh if I hit her she will love me"...Def. NOT

this is the year 2004, where woman are making astand and not putting up with guys like this. Make it known you are not into that and just leave him. Eventually he will realize that girls are not putting up with a showing off.

 
Old 04-16-2004, 10:06 AM   #10
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

no, definitely do not get involved with a guy like this...if he does this stuff when you are not in a relationship, then what will he do when you are in one...this guy doesn't love you at all...run as far from him as you can...

 
Old 04-17-2004, 02:39 PM   #11
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Leean HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

I think you all are right. He's only thrown me around once in front of this guy I liked, but once is too much. He's almost always verbally abusive though. It's difficult though becuase he's my best friends brother. Thanks.

 
Old 04-17-2004, 04:11 PM   #12
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summersunset HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

May I put my 2cents worth.

I doesn't seem diffcult to stay away from the troll even though it's your bestfriends brother. You hang with your bestfriend not her brother so I would really stay away from him and if he bothers you again tell him he is boring you with his unkind remarks and to move along or just leave the house that is if you are visiting your friend.

Too bad the guy you liked didn't do something when this troll pushed you around. Don't let this guy do this to you he doesn't sound like a too nice of a guy and I could say alot of worst things about him but I will get banned from here.

 
Old 04-18-2004, 01:26 AM   #13
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Ninispjc HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

Please don't waste even one more minute of your precious life on this loser. Anyone who treats you so badly isn't even worth worrying about. Kick him to the curb and be done with him. If your friend has a problem with you dumping her brother, it's just that: her problem.

 
Old 04-18-2004, 03:38 AM   #14
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MadSkillzGal HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

I totally agree with Girl Harley. He knows that you obviously 'carry a torch' for him somewhat and he is abusing the emotions you hold for him.

He is basically sending a message to his friends "see how FLY I am, see what a player I am, I'M DA MAN....because no matter WHAT I do to this chick...she STILL loves me". To my mind any man who acts like this (and many do) that's not a MAN that's a little boy with a warped brain. You know how this will end up? He will end up fking your brain totally and you will spend a long time after trying to repair the damage you ALLOWED this guy to heap on you. You will then be scarred and find it hard to even spot and hold down decent relationships because you will forever be trying to spot the similarities between other men and him.

Have a little dignity and refuse to be treated like this. However make no mistake girl, we have ALL been treated like this at one time or another. But those of us who HAVE been through it will tell you the ending and it's not happy. He still won't want you and you are the one in danger of walking away all messed up. So listen and refuse to walk down the same lane other women have. The good thing about boards like this is that you can hear this from people older and more experienced than you. There was a thread on the board i noticed from a woman who said other people sound rude or self righteous etc, I believe that's totally the wrong way to look at it. Years ago you didn't have women with this wealth of experience and knowledge to guide the next generation away from the same mistakes. In fact they were guiding women into the SAME mistakes hence the phrase "you made your bed you lie in it". We're not trying to be rude, or self righteous. I will ALWAYS maintain that 9 out of 10 times, maturity, wisdom and experience DOES come with age...it stands to reason. Of course there is the exception. But that's why it's called an EXCEPTION. I'm talking by and large. I only wish women in the generation preceding us had been so experienced and open. Might have stopped me from making some mistakes had I heard it first hand myself.

 
Old 04-18-2004, 08:40 AM   #15
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Bad behavoirs

I agree with Madskillz 100% We are here to help you avoid the mistakes we once made and which cost us a lot. Some situations are not as clear cut, but this one is. A guy who "throws you around" (do you mean he pushed you or hit you?), and constantly verbally abuses you is NO GOOD. Refuse to talk to him and try not to be around him. You will save yourself a lot of heartache by staying away from this guy. He certainly is not in love with you, that one is a no brainer. Just in general, a guy who would push or verbally abuse any girl is not a good material for a boyfriend, so even if he was sweet as sugar to you but throwing around and insulting another female friend, I would still tell you the guy is no good.

 
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