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Old 04-21-2004, 05:11 PM   #1
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Sunshine797 HB User
Ever have a suspicion of cheating without no proof??

I'm curious, how many of you here suspected your SO/DH of cheating but had NO proof what so ever that he/she did?? I'm talking no phone or paper trails nothing...Mainly that you are going on a suspicion because of little things that may have set off an alarm that might have really been harmless?? How do you pursue the matter?? A while ago I had a small suspicion and tried to confront it-got told that I was making accusations over something that never happened. The problem is, I can't prove it.. I even tried to trick an answer out of my So and failed...So I'm left in an awkard position... This has nothing to do with any of my recent posts BTW, this is just a lingering concern that happened a few years ago and it's still on the back of my mind...

 
Old 04-22-2004, 04:23 AM   #2
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noseyone HB User
Re: Ever have a suspicion of cheating without no proof??

That happened to me about 7 years ago with my then husband. I was convinced he had something going on with my "best friend" and he told me i was crazy and there was nothing between them.I was able to get past it and tried to forget everything i had suspected.

Last year when my "best friend" left her husband to be with my ex husband it all came out and it turns out I was right about the two of them all those years ago.

Now they are together and he is raising her 3 kids (from her ex husband) and sees our girls for 1 day every other weekend.... Even after a year I still have a hard time seeing them together...I feel so betrayed even though it happened 7 years ago.

What sort of things have you found that make you think something is going on? Don't take anything lightly and trust your gut feelings.
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Old 04-22-2004, 06:04 AM   #3
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PeggyHarmon HB User
Re: Ever have a suspicion of cheating without no proof??

Quote:
Originally Posted by noseyone
something going on with my "best friend" and he told me i was crazy and there was nothing between them.I was able to get past it and tried to forget everything i had suspected.

Last year when my "best friend" left her husband to be with my ex husband it all came out and it turns out I was right about the two of them all those years ago.
.
I have no idea why "best friends" do this to one another!!!! My best friend last year pull some crap going behind my back emailing my s/o and I know that was the "starting point" I in turned emailed her husband and asked for his cell phone number I needed to speak to him...knowing she'd read his email. Let's just say she blocked all of our addresses and dropped out of sight. A gut never lies....its a signal, warning to be on alert for your best interest. When you have absolutely no proof--you will just drive yourself to a brink of being nutzo....just pay attention to every detail from now on. Don't question him about it, but do keep notes, even if you have to put it in writing. Email the thoughts of coicidences to yourself. I've been where you are. It does drive you totally bonkers wanting answers, and gets you nowhere. In the end tho--reflecting back on your notes, maybe--just maybe you will be able to out weigh the facts and settle your suspicious putting you at rest with your inescurities about him.

 
Old 04-22-2004, 07:53 AM   #4
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Ever have a suspicion of cheating without no proof??

I have never been through somthing like this but I am sure there are many signs out there. You are doing the right thing by questioning it now if you have suspicion. Why let somthing like this go if you have good reason to ask.

 
Old 04-22-2004, 08:11 AM   #5
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elatedgiraffe HB User
Re: Ever have a suspicion of cheating without no proof??

I've heard that if someone suspects the other of cheating it is usually true. I think if you have these thoughts that is a red flag. I have had men think I was cheating before and I was not. I have also thought men have cheated on me and I Never caught them or had any proof. I once had a deep down gut feeling cheating was going on, and after 5 months I was right. Trust is such an important part of a relationship. I think if one is cheating, it will surface, maybe not right away, but eventually the truth will come out. You can drive yourself crazy not trusting the other person. If you feel that cheating occured but you can't find any proof you can either drive yourself crazy or let it go and be happy in the relationship. Thats what trust is. Trust until you have reason not to trust. If you have doubts check those doubts out. But if they turn out neg., let it go, otherwise you will only torment yourself to death.

 
Old 04-22-2004, 09:20 AM   #6
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mybody HB User
Re: Ever have a suspicion of cheating without no proof??

I have a somewhat different opinion. My husband has "joked" with me many, many times that I am cheating on him. Or that I will leave him for someone else. All of his fears were unfounded.

This has always stemmed from his own insecurities in the relationship. I know the baggage he is working with, so I try not to let it get to me, but there are times when it gets really, really old. We've been together almost 10 years, married for almost 2.

I'm not saying that gut feelings don't have validity - quite the opposite in most cases, but thinking doesn't always mean it's true.... My 2 cents

 
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