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Old 04-22-2004, 11:38 AM   #1
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PAISLEY HB User
Question Where to get married?

Hi
My boyfriend and I plan to get married. However, I've been thinking about where to have the wedding. I know some will say that this isn't a big deal, but to me it is. I must say that this will be his second marriage and my first one. I can tell that he doesn't want another church wedding. He wants to go the islands to get married. However, he says if I want a church wedding then we'll have one. Since I know the stress of planning a wedding (because of being a bridesmaid several times as well as helping my best friend plan hers) I really do want to go away. The stress of picking bridesmaids, picking out colors, flowers, etc....It is overwhelming. However, I don't want my family and my friends to think that I went away just because he's already had a church wedding and doesn't really want to do it that way again. What do you all think? What kind of wedding did you have and would you do anything differently if you could?

Thanks for reading!

 
Old 04-22-2004, 11:44 AM   #2
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: Where to get married?

Hey Paisley!

I got married in December to the most wonderful man I have ever met!! We didn't want a huge headache of a wedding and both thought it was ridiculous to spend so much money on a wedding. We had a *very* small intimate church wedding in a beautiful church. It was very simple. And was really only family and a few of our closest friends. My best friend was my Matron of Honor and his Best Man was his best friend. We each only had the one attendant. We thought about going away also, but wanted our immediate families there. I would not change a thing. It was beautiful, but not over the top. I was steadfast that I didn't want it to be all about the pomp and circumstance and not about the vows, our love, and what it all actually MEANT!! We had a lovely honeymoon and returned the day before Christmas Eve.

If you BOTH want to go to the islands, there are packages that are offered and your family and friends can go with you. We thought about that, but who wants their in-laws on their honeymoon? lol

 
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Old 04-22-2004, 11:51 AM   #3
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Salinas1 HB User
Re: Where to get married?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PAISLEY
The stress of picking bridesmaids, picking out colors, flowers, etc....It is overwhelming. However, I don't want my family and my friends to think that I went away just because he's already had a church wedding and doesn't really want to do it that way again. What do you all think?
Well, only you know if you would really like to do the island thing without feeling either regret or animosity down the road.

If you like the idea of an island getaway wedding, many do this and are very happy with this choice. You just have to answer for yourself if this is a thing for you.

If you do decide the getaway wedding is the right thing for you and your boyfriend, then just communicate to family as you have communicated here. Explain that you want to avoid the stresses that accompany traditional weddings and why you look forward to the getaway wedding.

However, DO NOT expect anyone to like it. They have a right to "feel" however they feel. However, you are in no way responsible for how they feel. If you want to go way, get up the internal fortitude to tell your family what you chose and why. Then allow them to react, but don't allow yourself to be influenced by their reaction. Do what you want. Be respectful. Spend little energy and time on what you chose not to do. Focus on what you chose to do..

 
Old 04-22-2004, 11:59 AM   #4
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Where to get married?

I have always wanted my wedding as a Halloween setting. Everyone can dress up as what ever. It saves on cost and it could be a ball Being a DJ, done a wedding like this before and I don't think that this is something I could ever forget.

 
Old 04-22-2004, 12:17 PM   #5
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: Where to get married?

PAISLEY - first Congratulation On your engagement!

Oh the fun of trying to plan a wedding and where.....
You are entited to make a big deal for YOUR BIG DAY.

I'm engaged too..and I myself haven't decided either what type of wedding I want. This will be the second for us, we are not having any children together, so we are not hurry to finalize any real wedding plans and for me I'm still enjoying being engaged...going on 3 years..LOL

OK for you...Take your time if you can, to decide what you want. Three come to my mind...Besides getting the all the mags on the stands and surf the net........

An Island Wedding as you mentioned...Sandals Resorts have wedding packages...If you want to invite your family & closest friends have them go for a 4 day trip..This is expensive... but it's an option you can give them.

My Favorite for me... that I'm leaning towards for myself is a Harbor Cruise Wedding in Boston. If you live near any lakes or oceans check out your Chamber of Commerce for Harbor Cruises with Wedding packages...I thought this would be expensive till I started checking them out...Not to shabby of a price...I can also get married on a Lake in NH which is beautiful, they too have wedding cruise package...What stinks is worrying about the weather.

Another one I am thinking about is a Backyard Wedding "Hawaiin Style"
A co-worker had one of these, it was very casul, I saw her pictures from her wedding and what an outstanding job she did, she said Everyone who attended had a great time...Of course it's Your Day and you can choose any theme you wish...

But all in all...It Is Your Day...Make It Your Day.....
Hope this helps and best wishes to you and your fiance!

 
Old 04-22-2004, 12:53 PM   #6
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JLKH HB User
Re: Where to get married?

PAISLEY, I started writing this response and telling you all about what I did but then thought... "that doesn't matter!" What I should tell you is to figure out what YOU want.

This is your first wedding (and hopefully your only wedding). You need to make it special for you and your future husband. Don't let your family or friends pressure you into anything and don't let the fact that your fiance has been through this all before change your opinion either. What would you like? When you were a little girl what did you picture as your wedding day?

Figure out what you want and then talk to your guy about it and you two come to a middle ground you can both be happy with.

If money is a consern then there are ways to have what you want for less cost. If it's the planning that worries you there are professional planners out there or you can recruite a friend or family memeber who likes that sort of stuff to help you out with the nitty gritty details.

Point is that whatever you want is possible but you have to figure out your dream wedding first.

 
Old 04-22-2004, 01:15 PM   #7
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promisez HB User
Re: Where to get married?

Not sure if it helps but the next time (if) I ever get married it will be in each others hearts. If I do spend thousands it would be on an exotic trip or a weeks getaway and a down payment on a house rather then giving it to caterers and clothiers. The actual wedding ceremony is for others to express their support for the couple and that can be done just as easily at a sunset or sunrise ceremony on a lake or beach. With all those second hand wedding gowns at the thrift stores and second hand stores I wonder if its even worth the sociological pressure for that formal ceremony. Spend the money on the memories or a house would be my suggestion, that day can always be looked at again on a video. I lean towards oceanfront at sunrise. (A local casino may even have a package if you're on the east coast). I just woke up, maybe I'm being incoherant lol. Congratulations to both of you

 
Old 04-22-2004, 05:55 PM   #8
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Where to get married?

I have the perfect plan for getting married. I want to elope to Hawaii and get married on one of its gorgeous beaches, wearing fresh flowers in my hair. Probably combine it with honeymoon. THEN, to satisfy wedding-hungry friends and family, have a small, cannot emphasize "small" enough, cozy party with just close family and friends at a nice restaurant, preceded maybe by some VERY low key church ceremony, in the church of my future fiancee's choice, since I'm not religious. There you go. Only thing I need is a victim. Ahem, volunteer. Which you don't have to worry about, so 99% of the problem is solved . Joking aside, Congratulations and hope your wedding is the GREATEST and most memorable for you and your husband!

 
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