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Old 04-25-2004, 09:34 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Montreal, Quebec
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m2luvu HB User
Exclamation To Touch or not to touch that is the Question?

I have been seeing a girl for 6 months through long distance relationship and now 1 month closer and the thing is she says she is not into the touchy touch side of a relationship, where I am used to holding hands putting my arm arround a girl, I feel touch is another way to show you care and have feelings for each other, what do I do I have never had a gf that I can't touch in public,,,,like I am at the verge of ending it because of this,, this all might be pushing it cuz when I bring it up she says to be myself and when I am myself she says she does not like it!

First off she is 25 and never actually been in a relationship, and I am 28 and yes I have been in relationships and have gone all the way, does this matter which I feel since she has no exp it does?

Tell me what you think!

 
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Old 04-25-2004, 10:47 AM   #2
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: To Touch or not to touch that is the Question?

I believe that you have a choice:

You can move on and find a girl you can put your arm around in public if that is really truly important to you,

or,

You can get to know this girl as a person. As a Friend. And only then start with small amounts of physical affection in private - a hug good-bye, etc.
(some people NEVER like public displays of affection by the way)

 
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Old 04-26-2004, 09:14 AM   #3
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eightball61 HB User
Re: To Touch or not to touch that is the Question?

Like Ruth said this is your option but you'd be a fool to leave her just because she doesn't show affection. Some people show public affection and some dont. This is nothing that you can control because people who don't show public affection sees that there is no point to hugging or kissing to let the world know you are together.

 
Old 04-26-2004, 06:59 PM   #4
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Join Date: Mar 2004
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Salinas1 HB User
Re: To Touch or not to touch that is the Question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
Like Ruth said this is your option but you'd be a fool to leave her just because she doesn't show affection. .
There could be one reason you would consider ending it. Some people need, as a part of the relationship, a lot of affection. They thrive on it. They feel cheated without it. If you are one of these kind of people, and it looks like she is not going to satisfy this need of yours, it will likely only get worse for you and not better. It is a little like the person that thrives on deep conversation and falls in love with someone that just has no real interest in that type of conversation. Love or not, this would eventually be a sore point that could easily escalate to a deal breaker when it is too late.

You need to decide how important this type of show of affection is to you and decide if you can live without it. You cannot expect anyone to change. You can hope for it, but you can't count on it.

Decide how important it is to you in a long term relationship and act according to your answer to that question.

 
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