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Old 04-28-2004, 12:23 PM   #1
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Is he stringing me along?

Guys...guys...guys. Who needs 'em? Not me! Sorry to all you other guys out there. This isn't directed towards you (specifically at least) I'm just fed up with this one guy who frankly, well, I don't know. I don't even think he knows whats going on. Please read a copy of this email I sent to my cousin and please give me some advice on what to do. I'm lost, confused, and tired of being hurt...

Mike went too far this time. Remember how I was telling you at Easter how he was playing mind games with me about how we were messing around in the car and then he told me that he didn't feel anything? Well this new one outshines even that.

Friday I went to the alley to bowl and I asked him later in the evening that if I stayed if he could drive me home. He said yes. So he drives me home and we pull in the driveway. I go to hug him goodbye and to say thank you for the ride home, and he starts to tickle me. A lot. With me being as ticklish as I am, I fall over and of course he tickles me even more. And I don't know how this happened, but before I knew it I ended up in his lap and we were kissing and god knows what else. Aargh when he was holding me I wish the world just could have stopped...I felt like melting right into him.

By the time I get inside it's like a half hour later, and a few minutes later I get this text message from him which turns into this whole big blowup...

~Hey ok I should have told you this I'm going to prom and I have a date and after we are going to a hotel so yea just wanted to be honest sorry
---Is there still a chance for us?
~Not sure because if things work out with me and her not sure and they might
---Is there ever going to be a chance ever?
~A little not a lot we would be better friends
---What, friends who sit there and kiss and fool around in the car?
(he didn't answer back)
---Look this could not have happened unless you felt something for me. Don't deny it.
~I don't have feelings for you that are more than friend feelings what happens in the car just happens I guess if you're mad then ok
(I go off about how I'm sick of his mindgames and how I was sick of being hurt and about he will never know how much I love him, And then I said I have to go do something to make the pain go away)
~Look I'm sorry but just don't do anything stupid and you know what I mean
---You can't stop me and no I don't know what you mean
~I don't want you to do things you did to yourself before and just because I don't like you doesn't mean I don't care for you now I'm going to bed you go too
(I started saying something like I was going to go do it)
~I'm serious don't
---Too late it's already been done
~Your mistake now you hurt me
---How could what I do to myself affect you?
~By you hurting yourself
(oops...I forgot what I said...but I know I apologized)
~No you're not I'm done now phone off since you think I don't care

So then yesterday at work I was telling the bartender Maria what was going on and she was like, [removed] I'm going to get the gossip on this now" So she goes and asks him about it and everything. Do you know who he's going with? His best friend's sister. maria said she even doubted that they were going to a hotel. I even told her that he's sure as hell not going to get laid by whoever this girl is. If anyone is going to even think about doing it with him, it would be me. She also said to play hard to get. To stop returning all this flirting and stuff. Well, I don't have much of anything else to do, so I'm gonna try it.

I've already apologized to him about what I did to myself and everything and accusing him of not caring for me, but still, I haven't talked to him since that night.

I know, I know, stupid stupid stupid me for getting myself into all that crap again (cutting myself)! I thought that the last time I did it was going to be the very last time. I don't even know why I started again. I mean, I've done so good even with this whole breakup (sort of) thing. I'm just sick of being hurt and being led on again and again. But do you know what? After a couple of weeks, I'm going to have him drive me home again, and just enjoy and roll with whatever happens.


This is my life in a crazy, messed up nutshell. Any advice?

Last edited by Guardian; 05-01-2004 at 05:18 AM. Reason: Please keep in mind certain words are considered offensive

 
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Old 04-28-2004, 01:16 PM   #2
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Re: Is he stringing me along?

Yikes... maybe you should consider holding off on relationships until you're more at peace with yourself. Random breakups and frustrations always come from young relationships and it doesn't sound like you're really prepared mentally to handle the responsibilities that come with dealing with the results

I cut when I was younger and believe me relationships only make it come back worse if you're not ready to accept that this kind of thing happens all of the time. It sounds like you're in highschool and sometimes you're just not ready for this stuff at that age.

This guy was honest with you about being interested in someone else. It doesn't sound like you were actually in a real relationship and now he's saying you guys really don't have much of a chance.

Don't torture yourself! Trust me there are lots of cute guys out there waiting to be taken and willing to be good boyfriends. Don't waste your time on someone who isn't feeling the same way. He's a teenage boy from what I gather, and 9 times out of 10 they fool around with you because they're so sexually charged at that age... don't mistake it for something that it's apparently not - he did make it clear he wasn't interested.

Find someone worth your while or work on fixing your inner pain, you'll be happier in the long run I promise you.

 
Old 04-28-2004, 04:45 PM   #3
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Re: Is he stringing me along?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Destea
This guy was honest with you about being interested in someone else.
I forgot to mention that he's going with his best friend's sister. I call that desperate, not interested in someone else. When I was desperate for a date one time, I ended up going with my bro's best friend not because I was interested in him but because I was desperate.

 
Old 04-29-2004, 05:27 AM   #4
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trystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB Usertrystme HB User
Re: Is he stringing me along?

I hope that you are seeing a doctor for your condition. EVERYTHING that you just posted is VERY disturbing. Not just the cutting but the whole way in which you interact with people, it just is not healthy.

 
Old 04-29-2004, 05:59 AM   #5
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Is he stringing me along?

Sometimes facing the truth is harder than following an untruth that you want to believe.

I do think that you are are stringing yourSELF along. This guy has told you flat out that he isn't interested. You can spin that to where you tell yourself that he's desperate if he dates his friend's sister, but I don't get the connection. He has choices, he just doesn't particulary want to date you. It doesn't mean that you're bad, or ugly, or not worthy. It's just not what he wants.

Your BEST bet is what someone else mentioned. Back off from ALL relationships for a while. Get to know and enjoy yourself. Volunteer at an animal shelter or a hospital, visit someone in a nursing home who has no one. Re-connect with family and friends and don't EVER allow a relationship to rule your life and feelings.
There are no guarantees - my Dad died after 52 yrs of marriage to my Mom. Luckily she always had interests of her own, a close family, friends and many ongoing projects.
Get a head start on that stuff NOW!!

You'll be a better and more emotionally rich person for it, and appear more stable and ready for a relationship down the road when you ARE ready for it...

 
Old 04-29-2004, 07:00 AM   #6
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Re: Is he stringing me along?

God Bneily, we are no one here is near qualified to give you advice. Your not seeing reality as it is. You are making your own. Show a doctor your email, and do what he says. Lots of meds out there that could help.

 
Old 04-29-2004, 07:39 AM   #7
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Is he stringing me along?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bneily
Guys...guys...guys. Who needs 'em? Not me! Sorry to all you other guys out there. This isn't directed towards you (specifically at least) I'm just fed up with this one guy who frankly, well, I don't know.


Guys...guys...guys. Who needs 'em?

Guys go through the same thing...You are just in a loop with a jerk playing mind games. You need to stop talking to this guy. This will be the only way that you will feel better about yourself and choices in guys.

For most girls there is at least one guy out there for you. Its too bad but you have to go look for him. The only of finding this guy is if you date numerous people to see whos better for you..

If you are fed up with this guy then what is keeping you to him? Move on...He is only around to get one thing. The reason why that come to mind is because he sits in his car flirting and ticking you them text messages you. I am guessing he wanted you to invite him in. Good thing you didn't

 
Old 04-29-2004, 08:42 AM   #8
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Mart61 HB User
Re: Is he stringing me along?

you are way to young to be worried about this guy or any guy for that matter. have fun with your friends, enjoy life, before you know it, you'll be all grown up.

 
Old 04-30-2004, 07:18 PM   #9
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Re: Is he stringing me along?

Your unique style of writing comes across as somewhat familiar. Did you just recently changed your name (or go by another name) from one you've used prior on the cutting board?

Between the two of you, I don't know who is the one that needs help the most. You or him.

 
Old 04-30-2004, 11:32 PM   #10
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Re: Is he stringing me along?

What the heck is the "cutting board"?

 
Old 05-01-2004, 01:36 AM   #11
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Re: Is he stringing me along?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Destea
This guy was honest with you about being interested in someone else. It doesn't sound like you were actually in a real relationship and now he's saying you guys really don't have much of a chance.
Yes, he was honest about not caring about her, but only after he got what he wanted off her. I'm not so quick to let this jerk off the hook. Yes, he's a teenage boy and at the mercy of his hormones, but that doesn't excuse his taking advantage of a girl he knows has this issue with hurting herself when she feels bad, when he knew he didn't care for her and he was going to prom with someone else. The time to have told her about this was BEFORE he fooled around with her in the car. Bneily, I'm sorry this guy hurt you so bad, but that's the way boys are sometimes, and I'm afraid they don't get much better when they grow up. Men are able to have sex with a woman and not have any emotional connection with her at all. Men's emotions are not as connected to sex as a woman's is. We're just hard-wired differently that way. That's why you have to be prepared for the possibility that he doesn't love you before you become sexually involved with a guy. You're giving him way too much power. Whether or not you're happy shouldn't depend on whether this one guy cares for you or not. Believe me, It's a heck of a lot easier said than done. It's so easy to get addicted to that euphoric feeling of being in love with someone and feeling them near and holding them, etc. But you can't make im care for you. All you can do is accept that he doesn't care for you and get through it and decide that you can do without him and take it from there. You're too young and your life is too precious to toss it away just because some jerk decided to be an a$$ to you. Is there a parent or grandparent, aunt, older sibling or maybe a teacher or guidance councelor you can discuss your cutting issue with? I strongly suggest you seek help in taking care of that first and foremost. And let this guy go. Don't let him take you home anymore, in fact, don't even talk to him. He showed very little regard for you or your feelings, and he's not your friend and he's not someone you need in your life. Leave him alone and get on with getting over him and feeling better about yourself. Someday you'll find a guy who'll treat you right. You'll know when you've found him when you don't have to hurt yourself or chase him around to get him to pay you attention. Take care of yourself.

 
Old 05-03-2004, 03:23 PM   #12
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Re: Is he stringing me along?

I have to admit I am appalled by his text messages to you. He is playing games with you, he is USING you. Yes he is definitely stringing you along. Drop him. Forget him. He is not worth the pain you are going through. Life is too short. Focus on yourself FIRST. Take care of yourself please.
You alone are very important. Cherish yourself. Love yourself before you love others.

 
Old 05-04-2004, 05:41 PM   #13
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Bneily HB User
Re: Is he stringing me along?

In reply to one of Hoop's messages. Is my writing style that familiar? Yeah, well I was on there. A bit a ago my cousin told me about this board and gave me access to her account to use (which I did on the cutting board) but then I decided to get my own account.

and thanks for all the other advice as well, too. been trying my darndest, I have lol

Last edited by Bneily; 05-04-2004 at 05:44 PM.

 
Old 05-15-2004, 03:48 PM   #14
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Re: Is he stringing me along?

Bneily,

That guy is a selfish ***...

he knows you've hurt yourself in the past. if he cared for you at all, he would never have fooled around with you if he knew you liked him.
telling you he's going to the prom with someone else to top it all off is the icing on the cake. all i can say is that you've lost nothing by not being with this guy- he doesn't sound mature enough to make a girl anything but miserable.
take care...

xena

 
Old 05-15-2004, 05:20 PM   #15
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Smile Re: Is he stringing me along?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvMyBostons
I have to admit I am appalled by his text messages to you. He is playing games with you, he is USING you. Yes he is definitely stringing you along. Drop him. Forget him. He is not worth the pain you are going through. Life is too short. Focus on yourself FIRST. Take care of yourself please.
You alone are very important. Cherish yourself. Love yourself before you love others.
This is the best advice I read on the board for you. Please, take care of YOU. Look for help. Talk to someone about the cutting issue because before you know, your life cold be in big danger. Trust me. I've lived in the past with a close relative with the same problem, and it is too sad.
And get away from jerks, specially that kid who's not your friend, doesn't care about you, and doesn't deserve your pain.
I'm sure we will be thinking a lot about you. Send you a HUG, and, please, think about going into therapy. Only GREAT PEOPLE know they need HELP.

 
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