Lately,Ive been really jealous in my relaionship.Im afraid that my boyfriend will cheat on me.He has NEVER given me any reason to think this,he doesnt even talk to other girls when were together and I know that I can trust him but its almost like I dont trust the girls that are around him because Im a girl and I know how girls work.We have been together about a year and I do love him but the thought of this happening (I know he wouldnt) is almost too much for me and it makes me sick to think about it.I dont want to ruin this relationship by being jealous,it seems like every girl I see is a threat and thats not healthy for this relationship and its not healthy for me.Ive never been a jealous person so I need to know WHY Im like this now and how I can get over these terrible feelings?
Please Help!
hey commited,
Just wanted to let you a know that quite a handful of us have posted on a very similar issue under the "personality disorder" section. I dont have any answer for this problem since I too, am in the same position as you. I've been with my boyfriend for over two years now and although I used to get jealous off and on, it's gotten worse lately... and just like you, what makes it worse is that my boyfriend doesnt do anything to imply that he is looking at other women. I wish I could get over this jealousy thing... it really ruins my mood around him and also affects our relationship
I used to be the same way, but I talked w/my BF about my own insecurities, and he and I have worked out compromises so that I can feel more secure in our relationship, and he can still talk to other females and not have to be rude to them.
I guess it ultimately boils down to whether or not you trust *him,* b/c if you do, you know that any girl who makes an advance towards him will be shut down immediately, and ultimately whatever happens, he will still remain faithful to you.
It might be a good idea to figure out what is causing your insecurity, too. Is it something *he* can help you with? Is it something that you need to work through on your own?
This is one of those posts where knowing what age bracket we are dealing with would really help put things into perspective. There is a certain age bracket where these type of feelings are considered somewhat normal and not out of the ordinary.
This is one of those posts where knowing what age bracket we are dealing with would really help put things into perspective. There is a certain age bracket where these type of feelings are considered somewhat normal and not out of the ordinary.
Oh! I forgot to mention. That age bracket is from the day you are born until the day you die. But, if you apply statistics, the normal distribution is concentrated within a narrow age bracket of within a few contiguous years.
Lately,Ive been really jealous in my relaionship.Im afraid that my boyfriend will cheat on me.He has NEVER given me any reason to think this,he doesnt even talk to other girls when were together and I know that I can trust him but its almost like I dont trust the girls that are around him because Im a girl and I know how girls work.We have been together about a year and I do love him but the thought of this happening (I know he wouldnt) is almost too much for me and it makes me sick to think about it.I dont want to ruin this relationship by being jealous,it seems like every girl I see is a threat and thats not healthy for this relationship and its not healthy for me.Ive never been a jealous person so I need to know WHY Im like this now and how I can get over these terrible feelings?
Please Help!
I feel you. I too was in the same position that you are in. I know how guys work and I was afraid to lose that special someone. It took a lot and some fighting to get things across.
She understands my feeling towards this and is willing to help anyway. I don't hold her back from hanging with other guys because that is wrong. The worse thing I could do is say no.
Trust is the true player here. If you trust him then allow him to go out. If he talks to another girl it doesn't mean he is showing interest. The worse thing you could do is hold him back.
The only ways I have found to fight this was keep yourself active if he is out. Don't pull a guilt trip to keep him around because eventually he will catch on. Talk to him, tell him you trust him to go out but let him know your concerns. If you feel don't feel safe have him call you at certain points to the night to keep in touch.
i still think insecurities sometimes stem from becoming attached to someone...you fall in love and then you think of what life would be like without them in it...i was never a jealous or insecure person until i met my husband...
ironically enough, i had never been cheated on before till i met my husband either...hmmm...
i wish i had some real advice to give....
hoop, i would be very interested in hearing some of those statistics...
i still think insecurities sometimes stem from becoming attached to someone...you fall in love and then you think of what life would be like without them in it...i was never a jealous or insecure person until i met my husband...
ironically enough, i had never been cheated on before till i met my husband either...hmmm...
i wish i had some real advice to give....
hoop, i would be very interested in hearing some of those statistics...
We don't get this way for no reason. Something makes us this way and you say that you were never like this but look at what he put you through for a while. That is always going to be with you even if you try to forget it...
I agree with that too. If you truly didn't care at all what the other person was doing, how strong are your feelings then? Of course I'm not talking about controlling someone, I just mean if you care, you want to protect what you have. That's normal.
We are both twenty years of age and have been together about a year.
I was NEVER like this before him and Ive been in my fair share of relationships but none that were nearly as serious as this one.I love him alot and plan on having a future with him but I NEED to get over this jealousy thing because when I get jealous I get in a bad mood and thats no fun for either of us.
We are both twenty years of age and have been together about a year.
I was NEVER like this before him and Ive been in my fair share of relationships but none that were nearly as serious as this one.I love him alot and plan on having a future with him but I NEED to get over this jealousy thing because when I get jealous I get in a bad mood and thats no fun for either of us.
We have all been there at one time or another in our lives...I too was Very jealous when I was your age, I didn't have any reason to be jealous regarding my boyfriend because he truly love me, he would have never cheated on me yada yada yada...I was so insecure about my self back then, don't know why but I was and I hated it, hated the feeling, and like you said it an't no fun.
I did continue to be a jealous girlfriend thru the years, I pretended I wasn't, tried to stay cool around pretty girls - but deep down I was jealous -
Hon, all I can say is let it go...Let the insecurites go...If something is going to happen, it's going to happen...You really can't control what another person does, but as we always say - We can Control Our emotions, we also forget about ourselves when we are soooo in love, we focus everything on the person we love and think we will Die without that person,and if he or she ever cheats we will die....No we won't....
Well, maybe because I'm older now - but damn,,,I am not insecure anymore, I love my boyfriend and he loves me, gives me NO reason to think he would cheat...and IF he did...I was would broken hearted but I would move onto.
Tell yourself,,,,there are always going to be young beautiful girls around forever and we will all age at some time in our lives....including those hot girls.
Focus on Feeling Good about yourself and girl, Have FUN!
there's always going to be someone around but it's up to the guy whether he's goes after another girl and since you so sure of your guy don't let it show that you feel this way. If you need to talk to someone about it vent to a girlfriend but make sure she knows you trust your guy or out of concern for you she'll be telling you to leave him. Just talk to her without wanting answers.
Re: Jealousy is ruining my relationship 
