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Old 04-30-2004, 05:20 PM   #1
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TRINITY76 HB User
Unhappy Severly Depressed after incident

I had a horrible depressing night thursday, I went to this Nightclub with the guy I still like, though we went as friends it was just him and I, the first part of the night was great, we talked and sat alone in the lounge area, then he wanted to walk around, and drank more. He then began to talk to other girls and left me alone practically the whole night. Wha'ts more he's my best friend and knows exactly how I feel about him and were struggling to hang on as friends cuz we've been friends for almost 4 years. Seeing flirting with girls made me so angry I literly went over and dragged him away. He dosen't realize how much he hurts me. It makes me so depressed to see how affectionate he is with strangers and with someone he knows so well he's so cold. I don't want to make a big deal out of things cuz he's moving in two monthes but I wanted to spend some quality time with him and it turned into a nightmare. I love him and my heart was broken last night by how he treated me. So we left early and he didn't talk to me the whole way home which was fine cuz I was mad at him.
But today I woke up so sad and depressed to be treated like that. usually when he drinks he's nice and funny. This time he was cold and cranky.

 
Old 04-30-2004, 05:55 PM   #2
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Brooke~Lynn HB User
Re: Severly Depressed after incident

alcohol tends to do that to some ppl but if you are only friends then what can you do?
i mean you guys arent "together" i dont suppose so both of you are free to do as you please i guess....though it was wrong of him when you took him out to spend time with him to ditch you like that....
but it was probably the alcohol speaking...not that it is a good excuse, but you know how it is

 
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Old 05-01-2004, 01:43 AM   #3
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Re: Severly Depressed after incident

I don't think you should try to be friends with this guy until you can be truly happy for him if and when he finds someone and falls in love. If you can't do that, it's best for both of you if you just stay away. Trying to stay or be "friends" with someone you're in love with and knowing he doesn't feel the same will only only only only cause pain.

 
Old 05-01-2004, 01:16 PM   #4
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Aphelius HB User
Re: Severly Depressed after incident

Why aren't the two of you together...just curious??

Aphy

 
Old 05-01-2004, 01:37 PM   #5
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promisez HB User
Re: Severly Depressed after incident

First of all you went to a "Bar" for quality time?? Maybe things have changed. But, you say you went as "friends". Then you said you and him are "best friends". But you got upset because he was flirting, like you were really on a date. Evidently, as Ninispjc says, you can't just be friends with your outlook. He's leaving in two months anyway, you each have seperate paths and you need to stay on your own, not try to force your way onto his. For quality time in the future, I would suggest a picnic, not a place that serves mood altering drinks where common sense isn't that common after a few drinks.

 
Old 05-01-2004, 01:44 PM   #6
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cheahahoney HB User
Re: Severly Depressed after incident

a drunk man says want a sober man thinks remember that and dont worry your true love will come and he will be just a memory good luck

 
Old 05-01-2004, 03:29 PM   #7
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Re: Severly Depressed after incident

You went as "friends".that tells you everything you need to know about the relationship.Yes ,he could have spent more time with you.Maybe he was flirting to avoid the status of your relationship.Remember he knows how you feel about him.
Why are you not trying to find someone who will fullfill your needs?Maybe it"s time.

 
Old 05-01-2004, 03:29 PM   #8
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Re: Severly Depressed after incident

You went as "friends".that tells you everything you need to know about the relationship.Yes ,he could have spent more time with you.Maybe he was flirting to avoid the status of your relationship.Remember he knows how you feel about him.
Why are you not trying to find someone who will fullfill your needs?Maybe it"s time.

 
Old 05-01-2004, 11:50 PM   #9
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Re: Severly Depressed after incident

This sounds like a classic case of a guy trying to send a message when he feels like someone he regards as a friend trying to move in for something more. He probably felt uncomfortable and didn't want to deal with your feelings for him, so he decided to show you he wasn't interested by leaving you to pursue other women. Friendships like this are tough. There's nothing you can do to make him like you. In fact, the best way to ever have a shot is to let him go and try and find someone else. If he had any interest at all, it would suddenly grow a lot stronger if he felt he could lose you. If he could care less, it was never meant to be at all, and you're better off knowing that now than later.

 
Old 05-02-2004, 10:02 AM   #10
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TRINITY76 HB User
Re: Severly Depressed after incident

Yeah I've known for awhile I need to say Goodbye but its so hard, We've been friends for almost 4 years and he's a nice guy, and we talk about so much, its just the stupid Love thing thats getting in the way. I'm not going to do anything though, cuz he's moving anyway in a couple monthes and that will be our parting, that way we stay friends and keep in touch,

 
Old 05-03-2004, 08:51 AM   #11
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Severly Depressed after incident

Wow...I can relate here but from a guys point of view.


I once took this girl out to a club for a date. At the club we got a few drinks and danced a little. Being a DJ I can get a lot of inside info on girls that go there. I was told by many people that she had 2 kids which didn't bother me at all.

The major thing the happen that night was she kept going off and talking to a different group of guys while we were out on a date. She was bouncing back and forth all night between us both and I finally got fed up with and told her that I was leaving. See drove her there so she had no way of getting back...being Mr. Nice Guy I still offered to bring her home. She then took the guy in the back of the club to get his number and she gave him a hug. All the way home I didn't talk to her. At her house she said sorry and I said I wasn't and left.

That night did hurt me but I figured we win some and we lose some. Today I found a great girl and been together for 7 months.

 
Old 05-03-2004, 10:09 AM   #12
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Re: Severly Depressed after incident

Well,
I did the hardest thing I've ever had to do, I decided to end the friendship which is hard when you love someone. I just decided my well being is more important then hanging around someone who doesn't treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I know I made the right decision cuz the knots in my stomach went away.
I'm hoping that standing my ground he'll either apologize for the way he's treating me, and realize what a good friend I've been, or he won't do anything and I will know for sure I didn't mean anything.
I'm prepared to accept I'll never see him again, if it means being true to myself and having good friends who treat me the way I deserve.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 05:18 PM   #13
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Re: Severly Depressed after incident

bump just wanted to keep this topic open

 
Old 05-05-2004, 06:12 PM   #14
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promisez HB User
Re: Severly Depressed after incident

Quote:
Originally Posted by TRINITY76
I'm prepared to accept I'll never see him again, if it means being true to myself and having good friends who treat me the way I deserve.
He did treat you as you deserved, he was a friend only and he made that clear. It was you that kept acting like he was commited to you or you were in a relationship. I think what you need to do is find those boundries between friends and "good friends" and commited relationships and stick to it, not reading into things to believe they are something that they are not. Don't try to look for expectations out of others, seek them within your own heart and mind and the right people will be drawn to you rather then you trying to find one someone out of all the wrong ones.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 05:36 AM   #15
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Re: Severly Depressed after incident

right on the money there promisez

 
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