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Old 05-02-2004, 09:59 PM   #1
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Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

Hey, everyone. It's been a long time since I've written, although I read other people's posts now and then. Today, my best friend and her steady boyfriend of 2 1/2 years got engaged. It was such a wonderful thing, and I am SO HAPPY for them!! Truly-- they are a lovely couple, they rarely fight, he dotes on her unconditionally-- and I am so excited for them.

But between you and me, it was kind of a wake-up call...I'm totally, 100% single. Crickets have been singing in my love-life for quite some time, and my most recent relationship experiences have been negative and painful. I'm still waiting for something REALLY fantastic, but it's no where in sight. In a week, I graduate from college, too, and I can't help but feel a little down on myself that I didn't find someone while in school.

I apologize for the pity-party here; it just feels good to vent somewhere (and I don't want to impose these feelings on my blissfully betrothed best friend!). If there are any words of wisdom out there, feel free to share.

 
Old 05-03-2004, 03:01 AM   #2
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

Times may have changed but when I was a kid, going to college meant three things.
  1. parties to get drunk at
  2. Frat Houses (oh, and more parties)
  3. maybe a degree in something our parents wanted for us
Not much of a selection basis for a mate I believe but then again as I said, maybe times have changed. You didnt give an age so I have to go with my gut on your age and I'm guessing under 24. Anyway, better to be single and looking then in a bad relationship and as for the "really fantastic", that will be the description when the right guy comes along, no physical attributes involved. Your heart will light the fireworks display when it thinks it's time.

 
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Old 05-03-2004, 07:43 AM   #3
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

You're lucky not to be in a relationship right now. You are about to graduate and who knows where you'll wind up in th next few months? Get your career on track and then start looking once things settle down for you. You'll get a chance to possibly meet a whole new group of people and who knows where that will lead.

Good luck!
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"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do." Dale Carnegie

 
Old 05-03-2004, 08:50 AM   #4
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

You have plenty of time to find your true love. It wasn't meant to be for you to find him in school. It was meant for you to find him in your own good time. Enjoy your freedom and meet as many new people as possible as you head into your new life!

 
Old 05-03-2004, 09:15 AM   #5
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

Because she is engaged don't let that rush your life. Wait until your ready... Seeing her go through all this you are going to wish that you want to settle down but you body may not be ready for it yet.

This is your life and you shouldn't rush it because other people are doing things before you. Life is not a race to happiness you find happiness waiting this out and seeing what comes.

 
Old 05-03-2004, 09:28 AM   #6
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

I wanted to add that I didn't get married until I was 30 years old and I am very glad that I waited. ALL of my friends (from high school) had been divorced and were single mothers by the time that I got married.

Have you lived on your own, alone, supporting yourself yet? I lived alone for 9 years after college and before marriage and I don't regret it a bit. Go have fun and live your life and you'll meet the right person when the time is right. In the meantime learn all that you can about yourself.

 
Old 05-03-2004, 03:45 PM   #7
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

Your waiting for something Fantastic to happen to you?

Well, I think graduating from College is Fantastic!
Your Young, Single, Educated, with a New life ahead of you - That is Fantastic too!

Fantastic is creating your new life as you see fit...
A new Career, Traveling, earning money to take those trips or buying your first house or condo - Girl....that is Fantasic...

Getting engaged is wonderful but don't rush it...Married life is a life time commitment, there is plenty of time for that...

Enjoy YOUR NEW life after College...
and best of luck to you on your chosen career.

 
Old 05-04-2004, 06:35 AM   #8
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

I was 35 when I finally got married.
It was great living on my own, being independent - the only thing I would have done different is to NOT stay so long in relationships that deep down I knew weren't the right "fit" for me.
I would have done more volunteer work, spend more time with my nieces & nephews, taken some interesting classes, and worried less about relationships.

When I did finally meet my husband I knew he was the right person. I actually could have done without the broken engagements & broken hearts over 16 yrs of dating, and just waited for our paths to cross.

There IS something worse than being "single" and that is to "settle" and be married to the wrong person - don't rush things at this time of your life...
It Will Happen!!!

 
Old 05-04-2004, 08:38 AM   #9
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

I for one can't see the link between finishing school and thinking you 'should' be married or in a serious relationship.

I'm sure I did it too when I was young. Of course I came to regret it MORE THAN I could ever put into typewritten words!!!

 
Old 05-04-2004, 08:49 AM   #10
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

aww so true....

May I had, I had dinner last night with my neice who is going to be a Junior in college next year. Her boyfriend of 3yrs has one more year of college. They are both working as many hours they can in their fields along with college.
She mentioned to me that her boyfriend is going to move in with her and my sister (her mom) so they can both save for a House or Condo.
Well, my eyes almost popped out of my head...She is 19 he is 21 and I asked her WHY...why would she want to set up house so quick in life? There is so much time for that later in life...like 10 years! I gave her all the reason why not to do it and all the reasons ... well, couldn't have thought of any reasons to do it but gave her...Her favorite Auntie stories of marrying young from my own experince...I'm sure I bored her some,,,,but at the same token...told her to TRAVEL, go to college, finish college, save some money, but also use that money to Travel see the world, because once you set up house, kids come along and instead of Aruba with romactic settings,,,you'll be visting Disney World if you can afford it... I also told her if she wants to play house to come babysit my dog in my house and play house all she wants so I can go away more on weekends or weeks in Florida with my boyfriend....
She said OK...

 
Old 05-04-2004, 09:29 AM   #11
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

I got married last summer and my best friend, who is a lot like you was a little jealous that I found my soul mate pretty much in the first shot, while she has been in and out of relationships since she was 16. She has been single for about two months, the longest time ever. She is very happy and getting to know herself better.
As for young marriages. I married at 21, one month after I graduated from college. My husband was 23. We had been together nearly 5 years. I hated it when people told me I was too young and that I needed to wait. I was ready. Only you can know when you are ready and you have found that someone you want to be with. I am happy, and that is all that should matter to the people around you.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 07:45 PM   #12
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

Thanks to all who replied. Deep down, I know you're right--I'm perfectly normal to be in the position I am right now. And I would definitely much rather be single than be in a relationship that wasn't right for me; I've already gone down that road! I just needed a space to vent because I want my best friend to know how happy I am and how supportive I will be for her--she doesn't really need to hear my own personal worries about finding someone to love. I'm sure he'll come along someday, and I will let you know when he does! Thanks again!

 
Old 05-06-2004, 05:32 AM   #13
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

hey vent away,
i actually envy you...i went from one long term relationship to another after i got out of high school...i've never known what it was like to live alone and go out to have fun by myself...and i've never been able to go to college either...congratulations...it's a big achievement...i would love to go to school, but even at the age of 23 i don't know what i want to do with the rest of my life...

enjoy being single...there isn't a time line for meeting the one....i always tell people that their soul mate will appear when they are least expecting it

 
Old 05-06-2004, 08:13 AM   #14
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosie20
I'm sure he'll come along someday, and I will let you know when he does! Thanks again!

He will come... Right now it her time for this to happen and your time will come. Just don't force it to come because you may not be happy.

Last edited by eightball61; 05-06-2004 at 08:15 AM.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 09:00 AM   #15
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Re: Graduation: Best friend is engaged; I'm totally single

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
He will come... Right now it her time for this to happen and your time will come. Just don't force it to come because you may not be happy.
Eightball is absolutely right. Trying to "force" it is bound to make someone miserable. I made that mistake a couple of times, and it is a waste of time. Btw, don't worry, you're only 21. You have plenty of time to meet the right guy. I'm 32 and still haven't met him. Life unfolds differently for different people, you know. There's just no guarantee but there's always hope, despite how hard it is to see your friends happily in love while you're single. Some of my friends are already getting divorced and I haven't even been married yet! LOL. But I prefer to do it once and good, than a few times and screw it up. Right? Keep your chin up, girl. Be proud of yourself for accomplishing your education. That's something you CAN control.

 
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