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Old 05-05-2004, 10:35 AM   #1
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excaliburgrl HB User
gone, gone, gone

okay all,
i need some serious help for a friend of mine...they are military and just recently got stationed in alaska...across the country from me.......but anyhow, she just found out today that her husband is being sent to iraq next month...she is really falling apart...

i wish i could be there to hold her, but i'm so far away...how can i help her thru this?

 
Old 05-05-2004, 10:43 AM   #2
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eightball61 HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

The best thing you can do is maybe get a calling card and call her after work for a while to comfort her or talk online.

 
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Old 05-05-2004, 11:14 AM   #3
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

i feel so bad for her...it's not that they'll be apart that is hurting her...it's where he is going...all us military spouses know that it can happen anytime, but it doesn't make it any easier when it does...it sounds like he's only going over for three months, but that is a long time when you know there is violence over there...

 
Old 05-05-2004, 11:21 AM   #4
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
i feel so bad for her...it's not that they'll be apart that is hurting her...it's where he is going...all us military spouses know that it can happen anytime, but it doesn't make it any easier when it does...it sounds like he's only going over for three months, but that is a long time when you know there is violence over there...
I wish I knew what to tell you, but my family and I are in the same boat. My "big" baby brother deployed to Iraq a month ago. None of us are handling it very well. He is only 22.....and in Baghdad......wish I knew what to say....

 
Old 05-05-2004, 11:32 AM   #5
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

aw, newlywed, i'm sorry...it's really hard...i wait all the time for my hubby to come home and say he's going...so far nothing has happened yet...

 
Old 05-05-2004, 11:34 AM   #6
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eightball61 HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
i feel so bad for her...it's not that they'll be apart that is hurting her...it's where he is going...all us military spouses know that it can happen anytime, but it doesn't make it any easier when it does...it sounds like he's only going over for three months, but that is a long time when you know there is violence over there...
Oh, I can imagine how hard it may be. My sister husband's in the coast guard and they just had a baby 9 months ago. He leaves for duty 2-3 weeks at a time and barely if ever home. She new what she was getting into but she enjoys her baby and him.

To your friend, it is hard and I am sure she had a gut feeling that this was going to come. A good thing to do is call her tonight and give some comfort words.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 11:44 AM   #7
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

Well, he was actually supposed to go last year, but they rescinded it like a week before they were supposed to head out. It was a breath of relief, but now he's gone for real. My mom's really not handling it well at all. I worry about her a lot. She spends most of her time getting stuff together for his care packages. It's her way of keeping from feeling helpless. Me? I'm bad. Really. I can't watch the news. And I really try not to think too much about it. Denial. lol I don't think Dh understands how much it really bothers me b/c I don't talk about it much. That's one of my downfalls, though. Usually the things that bother me the most are the ones I talk about the least....oh well.

It wouldnt be so bad, but with the recent uproar over there.......

See? I just can't talk about it. lol

 
Old 05-05-2004, 12:07 PM   #8
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

i know how you feel though...i don't watch that part of the news at all...i know what's going on over there....a friend of mine had her daughter recently injured in an attack over there and she bawled when she saw it on the news...she felt bad enough knowing it happened, but seeing it made her feel a whole lot worse...

it's hard on all of us cause we know it can and will happen...my dh wants to go career with the air force and that scares me to death...

 
Old 05-05-2004, 12:14 PM   #9
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

I'm sorry I don't have any good words of wisdom to say....
But to all of you who have family or love ones who are fighting over there....God Bless You ALL for having such a person in your life, may they all be safe and come home soon.

It really breaks my heart everytime I see the news or read the paper -
You ALL have alot to be Proud of.....

I can't say anymore I'm sorry.............

 
Old 05-05-2004, 12:32 PM   #10
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

Thank you Excalibergurl, Eightball, and GirlHarley (responded to you on the other board, btw). I think anyone who has a loved one over there is just holding their breath with the rest of the world...waiting and hoping and praying. I can't watch the news b/c it's like seeing a train wreck and knowing that your mother/brother/husband/sister/son/daughter is in there somewhere.....you can see the damage and the crumpled cars, but have no idea if they were in THAT car or the one just behind...the one without a scratch on it. It's so hard....At the beach, they delivered the paper to the room....Front page of USA Today had photos of the soldiers killed in battle Since April.....It is so much more personal when you have a loved one there. They are all about my brother's age. He could have been any of them. And I really feel for their families....I mean REALLY FEEL FOR THEM. Ok...I'm getting teary...gotta go.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 12:51 PM   #11
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eightball61 HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

Quote:
Originally Posted by newlywedgurl
Thank you Excalibergurl, Eightball, and GirlHarley (responded to you on the other board, btw). I think anyone who has a loved one over there is just holding their breath with the rest of the world...waiting and hoping and praying. I can't watch the news b/c it's like seeing a train wreck and knowing that your mother/brother/husband/sister/son/daughter is in there somewhere.....you can see the damage and the crumpled cars, but have no idea if they were in THAT car or the one just behind...the one without a scratch on it. It's so hard....At the beach, they delivered the paper to the room....Front page of USA Today had photos of the soldiers killed in battle Since April.....It is so much more personal when you have a loved one there. They are all about my brother's age. He could have been any of them. And I really feel for their families....I mean REALLY FEEL FOR THEM. Ok...I'm getting teary...gotta go.

Thanks for the post Alot does happen in this world but it doesn't effect us the same unless if there is a loved one involved. There are some that will feel others pain.

When it come to the war many of us have many stories about family members or friends that are across seas. Most don't talk about it because what the media brings and the talk...It just hurts because it could be on of us on that front page. We have to remember that these guys are fighting for our country and trying to keep us safe. If somthing does happen they died in passion of the country. & i tip my hat to that

 
Old 05-05-2004, 01:27 PM   #12
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desertdweller HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

I can relate, my BF is in the Marines, and I keep waiting for the news. So far, it doesn't look like he has to go. My friends don't really even understand why I'm with him, so how could I discuss my fears with them ?
Like eightball said, buy your friend a calling card, talking with someone that has to deal with the same situation helps. I know most bases have support groups for military wifes to talk, if they don't have one in Alaska, she can always start one. Just an idea.
It's easy to stay detached from the war and just watch it on the news.This war stuff becomes a lot more real when you have a loved one in the line of fire doesn't it?

 
Old 05-05-2004, 02:12 PM   #13
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

Quote:
Originally Posted by desertdweller
I can relate, my BF is in the Marines, and I keep waiting for the news. So far, it doesn't look like he has to go. My friends don't really even understand why I'm with him, so how could I discuss my fears with them ?
Like eightball said, buy your friend a calling card, talking with someone that has to deal with the same situation helps. I know most bases have support groups for military wifes to talk, if they don't have one in Alaska, she can always start one. Just an idea.
It's easy to stay detached from the war and just watch it on the news.This war stuff becomes a lot more real when you have a loved one in the line of fire doesn't it?
Desertdweller - how can your friends be so heartless? How can they not understand? Because you love your Marine and are Proud to be with one!
It's so scary to know what these Men & Woman are doing for US! and for the loves ones I just can't imagine the Anxtiey your feeling, the sadness, missing them and the waiting period - I for one as I have mentioned am so proud of all the MEN & WOMAN who are doing their job for our country, who have guts and the strength...They are our heros and for the loves ones who are home waiting for them...I just can't imagine that feeling, I Just pray for everyone who is there to come home safe. I have not known anyone personally who has lost a love one, I do have a bestfriend who's son is there and I do help her with care packages, my boyfriend has a childhood friend who too is there fighting this war and we do write to him and send him letters & packages, my boyfriends's brother is taking care of his harley and I send the guy a subscription of Easy Rider which he and his troops enjoy reading...It's all these little things that help them get through this....
I for one DO CARE and you can vent your feelings here....

I'm sorry I went on...But it's sad that you are not getting support for loving a Marine..
Take Care.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 02:16 PM   #14
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LostInLove HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

Im kind of dealing with the same thing. My sweet little brother is leaving May 26th for GA for basic training. After he is done with that he is going to ranger training. Then after that he goes wherever they send him. Which is more than likely not close to home. He wants to fight in the war. I am amazed at his braveness. Although it hurts me that he is leaving, I am so very proud to call him my baby brother. He knows that we all support him and love him. But it is hard not to cry and be scared for him. Im not sure if he will ever get deployed, but I am still worried about that. I cant even begin to imagine what the families of military people are going through right now. I have a hard time talking about it too, but that is only because I cry when I do. I wish all of you luck and you are all in my prayers.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 02:44 PM   #15
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eightball61 HB User
Re: gone, gone, gone

Excal~ So what are planning on doing to help her out? Are you going to call?

Keep us informed.

 
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