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Old 05-05-2004, 02:21 PM   #1
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eightball61 HB User
Question What Is Spoiled

I have had many conversations in regards to this topic and I was wondering what mostly the girls(& guys) thought about this.


When you are dating someone how much do you expect them to pay for things? When is the limit to where it would be considering as spoiling that person?



In my case, whe I date I love to by my girl flowers, dinner, movie, cd's, and you name it. Some people would say that is spoiling and I say its not . I like my girl to have the best. I am not trying to by her love because I allready know she does evenm if I didn't do it.

Last edited by eightball61; 05-05-2004 at 02:23 PM.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 02:32 PM   #2
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: What Is Spoiled

ummm....Well I'm spoiled and I know it...I love it...and Appreicate it all the more.....Everything you said and more.

But, I too spoil my boyfriend, he knows it and loves it...
Depends on Attitude....There are those who think they deserve it.
Those who think they earned it and some of "US" - just love it, because it surprises us and appreicate it!

If you don't expect it.........and are surprised by it, appreciate it, it all the more better to be Spoiled.. keeping the surprises as suprises and NOT expecting it!

5 yrs with my boyfriend and he still amazes me with all the spoiling he does to me, the best part is I can afford my own things that I want but because it's given to me from him as a surprises I appreicate it more.

 
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Old 05-05-2004, 02:43 PM   #3
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Lightbulb Re: What Is Spoiled

~har

I undestand & gifts are great. But why is it some people say that you are spoiling that person? Is it because they are Jealous..lol?

 
Old 05-05-2004, 03:04 PM   #4
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Re: What Is Spoiled

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
~har

I undestand & gifts are great. But why is it some people say that you are spoiling that person? Is it because they are Jealous..lol?

Of course! and some will say I'm bragging....Who cares...If you want to spoil your girlfriend, she appreicates it, you know she doesn't expect it, you can't go around and worry about what others may think or not think. It's as if...you didn't do all the spoiling....then you would be getting...Dude, you don't do anything for your girl? Right?
You can never win in the battle of Jealousy -
Just be true to Who you are, if you like spoiling your girl, that is your buisness and shouldn't be anyone elses...This is between you and your girl.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 03:07 PM   #5
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Re: What Is Spoiled

Well that fine and dandie and I will but I would like more insight on other on what they consider spoiling also.

 
Old 05-05-2004, 03:23 PM   #6
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Re: What Is Spoiled

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
~har

I undestand & gifts are great. But why is it some people say that you are spoiling that person? Is it because they are Jealous..lol?
For some people buying them gifts and surprising them is not spoiling, but for others it just makes a selfish person worse. Considering it is so often first nature to think the worst of someone people assume that the person being 'spoiled' is self-centered and will come to expect the gifts and take the gifts and you for granted. People see that kind of gift giving as making a bad person/situation even worse.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 05:24 AM   #7
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Re: What Is Spoiled

i'm spoiled in a different way...my hubby isn't big on buying gifts right now since we can't even pay our bills...but he spoils me in different ways...he likes to soap me up in the shower, cook for me, and sometimes if i'm thirsty he'll make me sit on the couch while he makes me a drink...he does all sorts of things like that....but i do the same in return...i could list all the things he does for me, but that would take hours

 
Old 05-06-2004, 05:52 AM   #8
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promisez HB User
Re: What Is Spoiled

Spoiling is the giving of emotional or monetary gifts from the heart asking nothing in return. The minute one seeks recompense for anything, it turns poisonous.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 07:01 AM   #9
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Re: What Is Spoiled

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lanfas
People see that kind of gift giving as making a bad person/situation even worse.

I don't understand on how it could make things worse? If I was dating someone that was selfidh they wouldn't get anything from me nor woud I be dating them. I am smart enough to figure out if I was getting used for gifts and if that was happing then I would be out.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 09:04 AM   #10
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Re: What Is Spoiled

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
If I was dating someone that was selfidh they wouldn't get anything from me nor woud I be dating them. I am smart enough to figure out if I was getting used for gifts and if that was happing then I would be out.
Jeff, you may not be willing to date someone that was using you, but you have to remember that the reality is proven otherwise every day on this board by others. Thread after thread started by folks being taken for a ride and posting here asking how they can make it all better. The human condition is such that what one thinks they will do when not confronted with the circumstance will often change to a different position when actually confronted with the circumstance. In other words, people have a propensity to be weak and submissive when they think they are going to lose the person they "love". Regardless of how loudly they may have previously claimed that they would never be that way.

I am no longer amazed at how many folks will say, "I used to swear you would never ever catch me cheating, not me, no possible way...until the day I cheated". To say, I would never allow myself to be used is admirable but difficult to see as an absolute.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 09:07 AM   #11
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Re: What Is Spoiled

that sums it up well promisez...my hubby asks for nothing in return when he spoils me, but i often try to spoil him as well

 
Old 05-06-2004, 09:23 AM   #12
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eightball61 HB User
Re: What Is Spoiled

Quote:
Originally Posted by Salinas1
Jeff, you may not be willing to date someone that was using you, but you have to remember that the reality is proven otherwise every day on this board by others. Thread after thread started by folks being taken for a ride and posting here asking how they can make it all better. The human condition is such that what one thinks they will do when not confronted with the circumstance will often change to a different position when actually confronted with the circumstance. In other words, people have a propensity to be weak and submissive when they think they are going to lose the person they "love". Regardless of how loudly they may have previously claimed that they would never be that way.

I am no longer amazed at how many folks will say, "I used to swear you would never ever catch me cheating, not me, no possible way...until the day I cheated". To say, I would never allow myself to be used is admirable but difficult to see as an absolute.
Well I could never put myself to cheat. I have seen what it does to a family and I am kinda emotional and would be torn if I did that to my family. I couldn't put myself to buy anyone gift to try to buy love or keep them around.

I have told my GF if she isn't happy then just tell me. I would be hurt but not as much if I was cheated on.

Gifts can be a happy thing but also can be a way to solve a problem. I love gifts for happy times. If a down time occurs I may by a gift but I won't keep doing it to make it all ok.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 09:32 AM   #13
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Re: What Is Spoiled

your a good man jeff
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Old 05-06-2004, 09:41 AM   #14
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eightball61 HB User
Re: What Is Spoiled

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
your a good man jeff
I am still a boy...lol

Anyways, I am not saying this to please myself or anyone else. I do truelly mean it because I have seen it happen & it sucks...

 
Old 05-06-2004, 11:04 AM   #15
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Re: What Is Spoiled

oh, i forgot to add one more thing...i tell my hubby often that he's spoiling me and he always gets this sincere look in his eyes and says "no i'm not, i'm just treating you the way you deserve to be treated"...that is so sweet...this man is trying soooo hard to make me happy again
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