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Old 05-05-2004, 06:08 PM   #1
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Angry His guy-friend jealous???

Hi,
My boyfriend lives with three other guys, two of which were friends from before (not even best friends tho). One of them is his colleague and they work together often and they also go work out etc. Lately, I've noticed that this friend of his always calls him, tries to get my bf's attention a lot and so on. I know this friend too, but I dont appreciate his sense of humor so I dont prefer to be around him that much.
Today, my bf and I had an argument and he wanted to know what was bother me yadda yadda yadda... but he had to leave because he was going to meet up with this friend. He asked me to go with him so we can all hang out together, but with my moodiness, I was not up to it so I refused. I told him that I do not feel comfortable with this friend because of his jokes and stuff and my bf agreed that he had stupid jokes but "that's just how he is" and he even said "I dont know, he's just jealous cuz I spend so much time with you."
Is that strange? It is to me. I'm pretty sure this guy is not gay, and perhaps he just feels like his friend doesnt spend enough time with him, but the thing is, by the time my bf and this guy met, we were already dating, we ALWAYS spent time together like this. It's nothing new, my bf is not neglecting this friend more than usual or anything.
So why in the world is this guy acting like I'm competition to him? It is clear that he tries to get my bf's attention so naturally, I feel like I am challenged. Being that this guy is a guy makes this whole situation really strange to me but my bf seems to not see it.
Any comments or advice on this? Is this not out of the ordinary???

 
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Old 05-06-2004, 03:25 AM   #2
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promisez HB User
Re: His guy-friend jealous???

You just had an argument, you were moody at that point. You asked a question, he answered and I am far from being a mind reader. Anything said here would probably be worthless, no one knows why he said that or what his reasons may be. You need to talk with him again if it bothers you that much. I've found that words said during or immediatly after an argument are worthless and it's the communication after the cooling down spell where things get accomplished and real reasons and answers, not excuses, get stated.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 05:00 AM   #3
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Re: His guy-friend jealous???

I don't know how old you guys are but if you're young, young guys and their friends can be a strange lot. Your boyfriend's friend may be feeling resentment that you are taking up a lot of his time, or he may be just jealous that his friend has a girlfriend and he doesn't. Either way, your boyfriend still wants to be friends with him, and to curb off this guy coming between you later, which he will probably try to do, try and be friends with him or at least be friendly with him. Go out and do stuff with them and be nice, maybe even try to get him fixed up with another girl. It will make your life a lot easier if you get along with his friend.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 05:15 AM   #4
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Re: His guy-friend jealous???

i've heard of best friends of the past getting jealous but not ones that came along after you two were already together...my best friend was a guy from years before and got very jealous when my hubby came into the picture...so if it was that situation i could understand...

maybe this friend is just upset cause he wasnt to spend more time with your boyfriend and he's not available as much since he's with you...i would talk to your boyfriend more about it when you are both calm and see what he has to say...

 
Old 05-06-2004, 04:57 PM   #5
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Lightbulb Re: His guy-friend jealous???

Thanks so much for the replies! I went ahead and spoke to my bf when we were both happy-happy about this. My bf thought it strange that this would bother me but I told him straight off that his guyfriend being jealous makes me feel awkward.
The fact is, this friend DOES act like he is "jealous", if thats the word to describe it- when I'm around he keeps trying to get my bf's attention, he always tries to make plans with him and gets really pissy if my bf is not available, etc.
My bf tells me that I shouldnt even be bothered with it and if anything, he wishes that his friend and I got along well together so we all can hang out. We've done so in the past but this friend's humor made me uncomfortable so I no longer wanted to hang out with the two of them together.
But I guess I should take your suggestions and try to become friends with this guy to make things a bit better. Otherwise, my bf told me that he feels that he has to choose between his friends and myself, which I certainly dont want him to feel like. It may also be the case that the friend wants my bf to be single (in the sense that he not date anyone) because he doesnt have a gf either. In fact, he's never had a gf, but I dont know if this is whats affecting his attitude.

 
Old 05-06-2004, 08:12 PM   #6
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Re: His guy-friend jealous???

I have a guy friend thats sort of like this. I try to make as much time for him but he get really jealous when I go out with my GF. A few year back he was dating this girl and never had time for me when I was single. Today I am taken and he is single. He now expects me to drop it all for him.

i am sorry but I am in love. I do make time for him at time during the week or at night after I see my GF. A lot of times he pisses and moans but there not anything I can do.

Thats just a story, even though I have nothing to help you with maybe just trying talking to him with you voice of concern. I talk to my friend and understand a little.

 
Old 05-07-2004, 10:01 AM   #7
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CoreyP HB User
Re: His guy-friend jealous???

Maybe this guy made friends with your boyfriend to be close to you, and tries to impress you with stupid jokes, and gets jealous when you and your boyfriend spend time together, because he wants to be with you?? Huh? Right? If someone already said this I apoligize, I didn't read it all.

 
Old 05-07-2004, 10:51 AM   #8
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Re: His guy-friend jealous???

i don't think anybody said that yet corey
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Old 05-09-2004, 03:12 PM   #9
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Talking Re: His guy-friend jealous???

It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who's experienced this. I'm pretty sure that this friend has no interest in me- if in case he did, then whatever he's doing is definitely not working. I guess he just expects my bf to spend more time with him? It's so strange because they spend a good amount of time together already. I've already told my bf that this is so awkward to me and us three spending time together is not going to be a solution because I dont enjoy this guy's attitude. Oh well. I'll leave my bf to handle this. Thanks guys, for the comments- I feel much better about all of this now.

 
Old 05-10-2004, 07:13 AM   #10
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Re: His guy-friend jealous???

Well his guy friend can't adapt to changes and this is just like my friend. He expects me to drop my pants for him but it isn't going to happen. I am sure your BF knows what is important to him but he has split up the time to make you bith happy. Its good that he does have a life with friends and you do too but he needs to have a life with you also if you want the relationship to grow.

 
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