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Old 05-08-2004, 08:08 PM   #1
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just a girl 32 HB User
Unhappy Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Someone tell me if they would be upset, last year my hubby at last minute got me a gift certifiate for Mothers day for a spa to get a facial and pedicure, it was a great and expensive gift later I told him I appreciated it, but since my daughter at the time was 7 I told him since I am her mom It would have been nicer to me if he would have just taken her somewhere and let her pick out something for me, I am not a material person I would not even care if he took her to the dollar store or helped her make me something.
So I thought he would understand. This year I know for a fact he has not gotten me anything and has not said anything to my daughter about going shopping he will probably rush in somewhere tomorrow am and get me something I dont even want.
My feelings are hurt because I care nothing about other holidays but being a mom to me is the most important thing and like I said its more of a special thing if he involves my daughter. Now we have another baby she is 7 mo.
My hubby is wonderful, he cleans he cooks, he does anything for me everyday of the year, so its dumb for me to be upset but I am.
He is sensitve about things but things he should be more sensitve about he is not, I mean I told him last year I dont care about what he gets me, my daughter should be involved, would anyone feel like me? Or am I just being stupid, I cant help it I feel so hurt.
Being a mom is the best thing and the hardest job, and I just want them to make me feel special this one day of the year.
just some advice please.

 
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Old 05-08-2004, 10:48 PM   #2
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Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by just a girl 32
Someone tell me if they would be upset, last year my hubby at last minute got me a gift certifiate for Mothers day for a spa to get a facial and pedicure, it was a great and expensive gift later I told him I appreciated it, but since my daughter at the time was 7 I told him since I am her mom It would have been nicer to me if he would have just taken her somewhere and let her pick out something for me, I am not a material person I would not even care if he took her to the dollar store or helped her make me something.
So I thought he would understand. This year I know for a fact he has not gotten me anything and has not said anything to my daughter about going shopping he will probably rush in somewhere tomorrow am and get me something I dont even want.
My feelings are hurt because I care nothing about other holidays but being a mom to me is the most important thing and like I said its more of a special thing if he involves my daughter. Now we have another baby she is 7 mo.
My hubby is wonderful, he cleans he cooks, he does anything for me everyday of the year, so its dumb for me to be upset but I am.
He is sensitve about things but things he should be more sensitve about he is not, I mean I told him last year I dont care about what he gets me, my daughter should be involved, would anyone feel like me? Or am I just being stupid, I cant help it I feel so hurt.
Being a mom is the best thing and the hardest job, and I just want them to make me feel special this one day of the year.
just some advice please.
Being a mom is the most important job in the world, but unfortunately it's sometimes the most thankless job,too. I think it was nice of him to have gotten you anything last year. My dad never bought my mom a mother's day present. He always tells her "you're not MY mom." He never took us out to get her anything, either. We relied on school art projects for our mother's day presents. I'd say maybe your hubby just isn't the best gift buyer in the world, but as long as he cooks, cleans and makes some sort of effort, that's all you can ask for. Maybe you could ask him if he wants to go out for brunch or dinner?

 
Old 05-08-2004, 11:52 PM   #3
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Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

I am the mother of a 6 month old little boy and my husband is deployed right now. He called to say happy mothers day and told me he can't really get me what he wants to because he is over there but when he gets back he wants to buys me a new cell phone, any cell phone I want no matter what the cost. I told him I will not pick one out and that it is very sweet for him to offer, but my gift is my percious baby boy and my wonderful husband. I don't care if I ever get anything from anyone for mothers day. I am happy with just being a mom. No special thanks needed, I know I am appreciated.
My mom on the other hand, is so picky about that stuff. I went to get her a gift because she would have thrown a fit if I told her I needed to wait til after I get paid to get something, and I was scared to death she would pout because she didn't like it. And she will. People try their best to please her but its never good enough. Its very annoying.
My point is it shouldn't matter what you get, its what you already have that should matter.
Happy Mothers Day

 
Old 05-09-2004, 01:02 AM   #4
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Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Happy Mother's Day from one mom (& grandmom) to another! You and I (and a zillion other moms out there) know that you do the world's most important job, day in and day out. I think "media" and card companies have us all under the spell of the "perfect" way a husband should show he cares.... the subtle difference that you understand so well (a pricey spa certif. VS something your child got you) is lost on hubby. Sounds to me like you need to focus on counting the great blessings you have and let the "ideal" scenario in your mind go-o-o-o-o. Think of the last writer who doesn't even HAVE her hubby there to get a hug on mother's day! I have a daughter with children 19 months and 5 months, and her husband is in Africa with the Navy for 9 months. If he gets an email to her, they will be fortunate. I guess my point is, you have a good life, a good man, children you love, please see the glass as half FULL not half empty. God bless you, keep up the good work raising good kids, and Happy Mom's day!

 
Old 05-09-2004, 06:35 AM   #5
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just a girl 32 HB User
Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts I do have a great hubby here with me and I should just be thankful for that. He shows me everyday that he cares. He did get me flowers today and a pretty card. My daughter made me a beautiful card at school.
I am lucky!
Happy Mothers day to all Moms!!!!!!!!

 
Old 05-09-2004, 06:37 AM   #6
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just a girl 32 HB User
Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Thanks for your advice! I guess I was just being stupid for being upset in the first place!

 
Old 05-09-2004, 06:41 AM   #7
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just a girl 32 HB User
Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jays Kitten
I am the mother of a 6 month old little boy and my husband is deployed right now. He called to say happy mothers day and told me he can't really get me what he wants to because he is over there but when he gets back he wants to buys me a new cell phone, any cell phone I want no matter what the cost. I told him I will not pick one out and that it is very sweet for him to offer, but my gift is my percious baby boy and my wonderful husband. I don't care if I ever get anything from anyone for mothers day. I am happy with just being a mom. No special thanks needed, I know I am appreciated.
My mom on the other hand, is so picky about that stuff. I went to get her a gift because she would have thrown a fit if I told her I needed to wait til after I get paid to get something, and I was scared to death she would pout because she didn't like it. And she will. People try their best to please her but its never good enough. Its very annoying.
My point is it shouldn't matter what you get, its what you already have that should matter.
Happy Mothers Day
Happy Mothers Day
Im sorry your hubby is away I know that must be so hard! I have a 8yr old and a 7 mo old both girls. And I dont know how I would do it with my hubby not here, he was in the military when we first met too, not anymore though.
Too bad your mom is like that, like I said in my prev post it does not matter what I get, I like things the kids make more than anything. Id never tell my kids even if they were grown that something was not good enough. Some people are like that.
Have a wonderul mothers day and thanks for your posting, you have made me see the light!

 
Old 05-10-2004, 05:30 AM   #8
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Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

You have a great husband.
No, I would not be upset.
You should not be upset for having a nice husband who just wants to show you what he thinks of you as being a good mother to your daughter.

If, all you want is something from your daughter who is only 7 then perhaps you should have given your daughter a $1 and told her to pick out something that SHE would like to give you...OR, just spend the day with your daughter and explain to her it's a speical day to be with mom.

I have a son;
I will share something that he did last year that blew me away at the age of 14. He made a 30 foot sign out of Poster board, with magic marker in bright colors wrote Happy Mothers Day to the Best Mother - and placed in outside in my front yard...now, mind you....I live on a busy street, so EVERYONE got to see this including many of HIS friends who drove by. He also placed two baloons out..When I got home in the morning after church and saw the sign I just cried....Only my SON can make me cry. He wanted it left out there all day. Being a teenager with many peer presures and for him to do this was something big and I will never ever forget.
I still have the sign...

Hope you had a wonderful mother's day.

Last edited by GirlHarley; 05-10-2004 at 05:32 AM.

 
Old 05-10-2004, 09:00 AM   #9
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Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Your husband is a male....There are some sensitive ones out there but they are hard to find. He does care for you and if he didn't then he wouldn't cook or clean.

There is nothing wrong with him but picking out something for a girl without a girl there is hard and I am sure he doesn't want to go through the process of vuying somthing and thinking you may hate it. Gift Certifiactes are easy gift but can be great at the same time. For the spa he should have got a double so you both could go. As for as this year wait to see what he got you first before you predict. It may not be much but just be thankful that you both are happy togehter and have a wonderful daughter Thats the best gift

 
Old 05-10-2004, 07:39 PM   #10
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just a girl 32 HB User
Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Yes I agree I was acting like a brat, he is very good to me and my girls so that Im very thankful for, he got me some beautiful roses and a card from him and my girls, thanks for all the advice!

 
Old 05-10-2004, 10:57 PM   #11
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Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

I think theres a little brat in all of us. That was very sweet of him. I hope you had a great mothers day.

 
Old 05-11-2004, 06:56 AM   #12
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by just a girl 32
Yes I agree I was acting like a brat, he is very good to me and my girls so that Im very thankful for, he got me some beautiful roses and a card from him and my girls, thanks for all the advice!
lol ....We all have a little brat/immaturity in all of us and thats what keeps our happiness going somtimes. It is great he is great with you and the kids.....thats a positive.

 
Old 05-11-2004, 03:39 PM   #13
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just a girl 32 HB User
Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

yes i feel like a u know what posting this now!!!

 
Old 05-11-2004, 06:28 PM   #14
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Re: Mothers day upset with hubby advice please!

I don't exactly agree with what is being said here, but I am saying it nicely. Your original post stated very clearly that your were upset because you felt your girl was left out of the wonderful experience of "giving". A very important lesson to teach them early in life. You were thinking about your 7 year more than yourself. You wanted her to be involved in selecting a gift for you more for her benefit than for yourself. That is not acting like a brat to me.

I think you have a great family myself, but if Mother's day is a day to honor and appreaciate you as a mother then I would think your request to your husband to involve your daughter in gift giving would fall along that line towards making "You" happy. I think your husband, as nice a guy he may be, just needs a little help understanding this. In the end, it may not be something to really get upset about but your intentions are admirable.

 
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