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Old 05-10-2004, 10:36 AM   #1
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Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

As a male, I'm continually amazed at how women can end up with the wrong kind of man, not to say that men don't end up with the wrong women. But the men these women go for are the ones who cheat, lie, get violent, aren't reliable, or just don't treat her as an equal partner. I look at my female friends and every one of them has a story to tell. One was cheated on, another had a baby with her boyfriend and now the boyfriend barely helps out, and another was struck by her husband. Nice guys get such a bad rap. The word is nice is basically a euphemism for boring. Every woman I've met said she wanted to find a nice guy, but then she skips right by him and goes for the guy who everyone else knows is trouble. I know women are attracted to the bad boys, but you'd think that women would see the mistakes of all the women who came before them and make sure not to repeat them. Are these women just blind or too trusting? Do they know and not care? Is it an image thing? Guess I'm looking to hear the female view on this, from people who've been there.

 
Old 05-10-2004, 10:43 AM   #2
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

well, i think i can give you some ideas
1. attraction (but you already listed that)
2. some women think they can change a bad boy
3. some women honestly don't care and might be bad themselves
4. they miss the signs and don't know what they are getting into

those are just some ideas
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Old 05-10-2004, 12:04 PM   #3
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

Maybe they grew up with an abusive father.

 
Old 05-10-2004, 12:05 PM   #4
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

By the way, like your signature

 
Old 05-10-2004, 12:15 PM   #5
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemi
Maybe they grew up with an abusive father.

It could also have started in the teen years when they want to seek their freedom. A lot of girls/guy want to be freen and never listen to anyone when they are a teen. So what do they go do????? They stretch their limits to see what there parents would say. Some date the bad boy bullies of the school, some want to act grown up(sex,drinking,pot), and the list can go on.

This is something very hard to answer because these girls will always will cry and cry over thier relationship and for somereason they are back in it. Its not because that is all they can get but thats whats in thier had. They think they cant do any better, have low self esteem, and scared. These guys will corrupt their GF's minds and its hard to change it after that.

 
Old 05-10-2004, 12:23 PM   #6
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

It just seems strange to hear so many women complain about how there are no good men left or that all men are pigs and yet they end up with pigs and totally miss the nice guy.

 
Old 05-10-2004, 01:04 PM   #7
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DonutsNCoffee
As a male, I'm continually amazed at how women can end up with the wrong kind of man, not to say that men don't end up with the wrong women. But the men these women go for are the ones who cheat, lie, get violent, aren't reliable, or just don't treat her as an equal partner. I look at my female friends and every one of them has a story to tell. One was cheated on, another had a baby with her boyfriend and now the boyfriend barely helps out, and another was struck by her husband. Nice guys get such a bad rap. The word is nice is basically a euphemism for boring. Every woman I've met said she wanted to find a nice guy, but then she skips right by him and goes for the guy who everyone else knows is trouble. I know women are attracted to the bad boys, but you'd think that women would see the mistakes of all the women who came before them and make sure not to repeat them. Are these women just blind or too trusting? Do they know and not care? Is it an image thing? Guess I'm looking to hear the female view on this, from people who've been there.
I really think it has to do with how a girl is raised. Whether or not she has a good relationship with her father. Whether or not her mother and father have a good relationship. IMHO, a children's home is where the foundation of a wonderful relationship with the opposite sex starts.

P
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Old 05-10-2004, 01:55 PM   #8
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

I had to laugh and add my 2 cents too as it has been discussed on this board not too long ago as well as with many groups of females....

YES, we girls do want nice guys.

Nice Guys..... are ususally shy & quiet or are afraid to approach an attractive looking female. They are also Scared of speaking up to an Outgoing woman or even THINK of asking her out....

Bad Boy types...Arn't afraid of anything or at least they don't appear that way (in the beginning) and don't have issues with asking woman out. Only problem is...Woman after dating such Bad Boy Types see what jerks they are and don't want to be involved with them anymore....Bad Boys then get attitude because they have been dumped and can't handle rejection well.

Good Guys are hard to find because they too develope attitude because if a Nice Girl decides to dump them for being nice they try to figure us out and think all we want is bad boys...

We woman do want Nice Guys who can handle life's situations.
Know when to be tough, but know when to be gentle, protect us and love us but don't beat us or disrespect us, be interesting, not boring, outgoing & friendly speak your mind because we can't read it, have opinions but don't be opionated, be positive and don't be negative and the list goes on......

 
Old 05-10-2004, 08:47 PM   #9
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

Well, I'm female and im not attracted to jerks.

I could never put up with bad behavior towards me from my boyfriend... and I've never understood women who do, either.

Actually, I'm usually attracted to the tall shy guys. Shy people r0x.

 
Old 05-11-2004, 03:56 AM   #10
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

First off you have three options with women: be yourself, be yourself or be yourself. If that doesn't work, be yourself.

Second, these "bad" boys usually aren't any more rebellious or rowdy than anybody else, they just look better doing it. There's plenty of guys earmarked for years of hard time and community service/probation that most girls would not be interested in at all.

Girls will go with the good looking nice guy, the problem is it's hard to uphold up the "nice" act when alot of attractive women are there for the taking.

Third, I believe women look for men who act like men and be themselves rather than guys who try to be nice to cover for some insecurity and hold back what they're really thinking. Just like we look for women who act like women instead of trying to be tomboys. Girls who always try to hang with the guys can get really annoying really fast.

Realize also that alot of pretty women also aren't what you'd consider "nice" or don't put much effort into being a strong person. Look at Jessica Simpson. She's really hot but has absolutely nothing else going in her favor. She may not be "bad" but she's a shell of a person.

 
Old 05-11-2004, 04:35 AM   #11
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DonutsNCoffee
It just seems strange to hear so many women complain about how there are no good men left or that all men are pigs and yet they end up with pigs and totally miss the nice guy.

"If it doesn't walk, swim, or fly, if it didn't come out of the ground or fall of a tree, don't eat it."

Maybe too many nice guys follow your advice and don't eat at the "Y" when they get the munchies.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 02:54 PM   #12
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

In my experiences with women who dated the "bad " guy,most didn"t know it till there was trouble.Yes there are some who are attracted to only those types,but most wish they could be with a "nice " guy.Until the bars been raised ,how can you compare nice to bad?You have to experience "nice" to know what it"s like.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 03:19 PM   #13
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blizzard45
Girls will go with the good looking nice guy, the problem is it's hard to uphold up the "nice" act when alot of attractive women are there for the taking.

Third, I believe women look for men who act like men and be themselves rather than guys who try to be nice to cover for some insecurity and hold back what they're really thinking. Just like we look for women who act like women instead of trying to be tomboys. Girls who always try to hang with the guys can get really annoying really fast.
If the "nice" is an act, then you're not really a nice guy, and you're not someone women leave because you're "too nice." Again, I think women like nice guys, but true, REAL nice guys, not guys who only pretend to be nice for what it will get them. I think a true nice guy is a guy who can appreciate a woman for all she is and has to offer, he appreciates her not just for being a woman, but for being a good person. A true nice guy can be your best friend as well as your lover.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 11:18 PM   #14
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

I would not stand to be in a relationship with a man who cheats or lies or treats me like crap! Sure, I have to be physically attracted to a man, but his personality is extremely important. If a man ever hit me, it would be the last time he ever laid his hands on me. I once dated a man who one night started to verbally abuse me and pushed me hard and threw an object in my house. I called the police. Needless to say, after that incident, I never wanted to see him again.

So there are women out there who want to have a relationship with a nice, genuine man. I'm one of these women.

 
Old 05-13-2004, 10:58 AM   #15
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Re: Why do so many women end up the wrong guy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninispjc
If the "nice" is an act, then you're not really a nice guy, and you're not someone women leave because you're "too nice." Again, I think women like nice guys, but true, REAL nice guys, not guys who only pretend to be nice for what it will get them. I think a true nice guy is a guy who can appreciate a woman for all she is and has to offer, he appreciates her not just for being a woman, but for being a good person. A true nice guy can be your best friend as well as your lover.
Right. I guess what I was saying was that alot of people, both men and women, are only nice if they have to be. It's a shame but it's generally true. If a guy thinks he can get away with doing whatever he feels like doing and still get the girls, he usually will.

It just bugs me when I see guys going around saying "I'm so nice! I'm so nice! But women don't want me!" Well for one there's probably other reasons for women not wanting you and two in truth they probably see you for who you really are anyway.

There's a big difference between people who have to be nice to get who they want and people who choose to treat others with respect and consideration because that's their true nature.

 
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