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Old 05-10-2004, 12:46 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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DarlingIvy HB User
What Happened?

I developed a crush on a guy that I work with almost as soon as I began my new job (several months ago). For awhile we barely acknowledged each other's presence (I am very shy, yes, and he is too). Then one weekend we ran into each other outside of work, at a club. I was a little drunk so I kind of ran up to him and was exclaiming over having seen him. I was with a male friend though, and I didn't want to be rude and ditch him, so I left it at that.

Starting the next week at work, something had changed - it was as if running into each other mysteriously brought us closer. All of the sudden this guy (Ryan) who had spoken maybe two words to me in as many months would come up and talk to me, kid around with me, sit with me on breaks. We flirted hardcore...I was elated by all of this, of course...it went on for two weeks.

Then once again, things turned completely around, and I have no idea why.
It's back to how it used to be, but now it's more than that - he goes out of his way to ignore me. He also goes out of his way to flirt with other girls in front of me. I'll be standing with a group of people, and he will come over and talk animatedly with every single person except me...he won't even look at me, or even say hello or good-bye.

I have no clue what happened...it wasn't as if we had any kind of falling out.
We seemed to be getting closer every day, and then out of nowhere he did an about-face...does it seem like he lost interest in me, or is thinking that I wasn't that interested in him in the first place? Like said, I am terribly shy and not good at expressing my feelings...maybe he thought I would take our flirtation a step further and was disappointed when I didn't? But I don't understand why he's acting like I suddenly stopped existing. It hurts...but I have too much pride to let him know that. What can anyone make of this situation? Thanks...

Ivy

 
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Old 05-10-2004, 01:48 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: cincinnati Ohio USA
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maak823 HB User
Re: What Happened?

I don't know what to tell you except that maybe he has a problem with dating someone he works with.

As a general rule- its never a good idea to date your co-workers.

 
Old 05-10-2004, 02:08 PM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,639
eightball61 HB User
Re: What Happened?

I think this has happened to me about 7 times in the last 3 years. I have always wanted an answer to this but its hard to get one.

Personally I think this work out for the best for one this guy works with you which may not have been a good idea to begin with because if you both got into a fight then you both would have to face each other after that. As a guys view though this was just and easy way out. To me he is a creep and should be beware. Guys like this will be friendly for a girl for sometime and onc ethey lose interest then they are out. He did it for one reason.....and its not because he like you.

Last edited by Guardian; 05-10-2004 at 04:35 PM.

 
Old 05-11-2004, 05:15 AM   #4
Senior Veteran
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rocking IN. USA
Posts: 1,051
Hoop HB UserHoop HB User
Re: What Happened?

The next time you get a chance to have a private conversation with him, just ask him politely if you did anything to offend him and why he has stopped talking to you? You may have to take the initiative here. He must know that he is ignoring you. It does seem like he is dong it intentionally.

Just be honest and nice about it. Don't come across as confrontational or upset about it and work with the answer he gives you. You may not like or be surprised by his answer, but you dont have to swallow your pride just to ask him why he stopped talking to you. It's not like you've dated him before. He is just an exflirting coworker. Then again, it may be just a misunderstanding on his part and may think you did something that let him to believe you weren't interested in him anymore. You won't know unless you ask him about all this yourself.

 
Old 05-11-2004, 05:45 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,589
GirlHarley HB User
Re: What Happened?

Did it ever cross your mind that someone in your work place said something about you to him? Do you not have any friends at work who can give you the gossip of why this male friend after two weeks of non stop flirting just stopped?

There's more to this as we can't read this guys mind why all of sudden he decided he doesn't want to flirt w/you and ignores you. Was there something you said off the wall to him that he didn't like? After two weeks of hardcore flirting, why didn't he make a move as to ask you out to dinner, lunch or a drink? Did you ask him?

Something is missing to your post.....

 
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