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Old 05-12-2004, 10:33 AM   #1
tslask
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Arrow Do you think he is lying to me??

I have been with my boyfriend for about two and a half years now. He has told me several times that he doesn't not look at porn on the internet nor anywhere else. I have never caught him looking at it, or really have any reason to suspect he might be.

But please I don't want a lot of responses saying "It's normal for a guy to look at porn!" Because no matter how many times you tell me that I'm still going to believe it's wrong, and it bothers me a lot.. but anyway back to the question.

When I first met him, his friends and people that knew him told me that he was never extremely interested in girls/finding a girlfriend and never really talked about that kind of stuff. To this day, he doesn't even go to the strip club with his friends that go just about every weekend because he says it's a waste of money.

The reason that I am posting this question is because... the idea of looking at porn really does bother me, and it's hard for me to believe that I found someone that is this perfect for me!

I have been reading many posts around this message board that have to do with this subject (looking at porn). It seems like almost everyone is saying that EVERY guy looks at porn, like they can't help it, and so on. But I would like some guys' advice, or any females that might know too- you all don't seriously think that EVERY guy looks at it right? Thanks!

 
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Old 05-12-2004, 10:46 AM   #2
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

Well, not EVERY man looks at porn, but most do, at least at some point in their lives. My ex-boyfriend did not look at porn. I was with him for over four years and I know. But he was older at that point, so I guess it wasn't such a big deal to him (he was 36 when I met him). He did say he used to look at it, though. I'm pretty sure he was telling me the truth because he wouldn't have to hide it, as I would have not been extremely bothered by it. So your boyfriend might be past that stage too. Some men never stop looking at porn, some go through phases, and some are completely addicted to it. As for your boyfriend having no interest in it, as long as he's not gay and is attracted to you, there's no problem, right?

Last edited by SophiaM; 05-12-2004 at 10:47 AM.

 
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Old 05-12-2004, 10:48 AM   #3
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

I don't think every guy in the universe looks at porn. I beleive the majority do, but I don't think EVERY man looks at it. My boyfriend I have been together for 2 years and he says he does not look at it. I really don't care if he looked at it every once in a while so he does not have any reason to lie to me. He has looked at it,in the past, I also found some old mags dated before we met put away, but he says he really does not care for it and says hes got me and does not need it. I too, have wondered if hes lying. But in my case, he has no reason to lie. In your case, however, if he knows how you feel about porn and knows his consequences if he looks at porn then he very well may lie so he does not hurt you. I don't think every guy looks at porn, but thats coming from a female. I'd be interested in what the guys have to say too.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 10:50 AM   #4
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

You are asking for what you cannot have. You want someone to say, don't worry about your boyfriend because we know he is not like all those other men. Your's is different than those guys.

Bottom line is many men look at porn. Your man many not. We have no idea if he does or not. If it makes you feel more secure, I don't think he does.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 10:52 AM   #5
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
As for your boyfriend having no interest in it, as long as he's not gay and is attracted to you, there's no problem, right?
Therein lies the issue...there is a problem for her with it. Regardless of how he feels about her.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 10:54 AM   #6
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

Quote:
Originally Posted by elatedgiraffe
He has looked at it,in the past, I also found some old mags dated before we met put away, but he says he really does not care for it and says hes got me and does not need it.


I also found something in his room that was from a long time ago, and when I found it I was angry with him, but he told me that it was from a long time ago, and I guess I believe him. He also told me that he has me and he doesn't need it... and he also told me that he used to look at it, but that was when him and his friend were younger and they would steal the magazines from his older brother because they thought they were cool. He also told me that him and this friend used to smoke because they thought they were cool, but now he's 18 and he doesn't smoke, either. Maybe he really is telling me the truth!

 
Old 05-12-2004, 10:54 AM   #7
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

No not every man looks at porn. I know some very religious guys that don't. If you have no reason to believe that he is lying to you then don't think that he is lying to you just because MOST guys look at porn.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 11:01 AM   #8
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

Quote:
Originally Posted by trystme
No not every man looks at porn. I know some very religious guys that don't. If you have no reason to believe that he is lying to you then don't think that he is lying to you just because MOST guys look at porn.
My boyfriend is not religious at all, either. Just had to add that He acts just like his other guy friends, besides the part where they talk about how hot these girls are that they know and stuff like that. I've also been told that he doesn't talk like that when I'm not around, either. Ok I think I really do believe him, I just wanted to see what people had to say about EVERY guy looking at it. The one thing I don't understand about it is why some people make it seem like it's a "need" for a man.. I mean it wasn't always around... Guys weren't dying before it was around because they didn't have it. Thanx though!!

 
Old 05-12-2004, 11:08 AM   #9
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

I agree with trystme-not all look at porn so don't just assume hes lying to you because most men look at porn. However, the fact that you got angry when you found his old mag could make him afraid to admit to you that he looks at porn. He maybe lying but he very well could be telling the truth. Trust him if you have no reason not to. Thats the bottom line.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 11:10 AM   #10
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

Quote:
Originally Posted by LSkynyrd65
The one thing I don't understand about it is why some people make it seem like it's a "need" for a man.. I mean it wasn't always around... Guys weren't dying before it was around because they didn't have it.
Honey, it has ALWAYS been around and available. The coming of the internet did not bring with it the sudden existence of porn. Before the internet, it was always easily accessible to anyone that wanted it.

It is clearly important for you to believe that your boyfriend no longer looks at porn. Since you have no evidence that he is currently doing this, I suggest you continue to believe that he doesn't.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 11:13 AM   #11
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

Quote:
Originally Posted by elatedgiraffe
However, the fact that you got angry when you found his old mag could make him afraid to admit to you that he looks at porn.


The main reason I believe him about this was because he said he didn't even know it was there.. from a long time ago like he said.. and he's not the most tidy person so it could very well be true. I'm like 99% sure I believe him and before I posted I was like 90%..Thanx for the advice everyone!

 
Old 05-12-2004, 11:21 AM   #12
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

Road less traveled:
99% believability is the same as "almost pregnant" to me. This is more of a trust issue and attempting to get an assurance that he won't look at porn in the future or when gravity kicks in. Sometimes we just have to trust someone we care for.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 11:25 AM   #13
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

Quote:
Originally Posted by promisez
Road less traveled:
99% believability is the same as "almost pregnant" to me. This is more of a trust issue and attempting to get an assurance that he won't look at porn in the future or when gravity kicks in. Sometimes we just have to trust someone we care for.
I agree, Promisez. It is about rust. It is also about her working through her own mind what it means if her boyfriend looks at a naked picture of a women. I am not condoning or accepting that porn is not problematic, but she needs to evaluate what the consequences are for their relationship if/when she finds out he has looked at whatever they consider "porn" to be.

 
Old 05-12-2004, 11:39 AM   #14
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Re: Do you think he is lying to me??

From a guy

When I first turned 18 I think I bought about the local video store..lol Anyways being 22 and in a steady relationship that side of me has come down and I wouln't like the idea of her looking at other men. They way I see it, I will never look like those guys and she will never look like those girls so whats the point of living in an imaginary world??? We are with that person because we want them and only them.

Now I am not saying I will never stumble across these sites or videos again in my life becuase I know I will but I wont' be denicated to it like i once was.

 
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