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Old 05-13-2004, 03:56 PM   #1
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salty HB Usersalty HB User
I Just Need Someone To Tell Me...

Can someone out there tell me how to remain calm when you get in a fight with your boyfriend and he hasn't called in 2 days?

I'm anxious, nervous, etc.

I've prayed a lot.

I won't go into the whole drawn out thing, but he's supposed to be clean and relapsed. It hurt me a lot.

I'm just feeling so insecure right now. I do love him.

Can someone just tell me something to make me feel a little better?

Thanks so much,

Salty

 
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Old 05-13-2004, 04:08 PM   #2
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Elyssa HB User
Re: I Just Need Someone To Tell Me...

Take care of yourself.......12 years ago my husband of walked out on me, with his rehab nurse.....although devastating to me at the time, it turned out to be the best thing for me! I know this is difficult, and painful, for you, but take care of yourself.....don't sit by the phone!

 
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Old 05-13-2004, 04:57 PM   #3
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promisez HB User
Re: I Just Need Someone To Tell Me...

You say he's "supposed" to be clean but has he gone to meetings or been active in a recovery program? If not, you need to step back and give him time, usually a year is recommended, to work on himself. If he has been in a program, he needs to go back to Step One. Need something good here? You are not married to this addict and he can only take you as far down into his hell as YOU ALLOW HIM TO. He's not capable of liking or loving anyone until he can do that to himself and want to stay clean, one day at a time for himself and no one else. He will use you only as much as you allow him to at this point.

====================================
clean and sober 9 years as of 4/27/04

 
Old 05-13-2004, 05:26 PM   #4
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: I Just Need Someone To Tell Me...

<sounds of thunderous applause to promisez>

 
Old 05-14-2004, 08:52 AM   #5
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I Just Need Someone To Tell Me...

Promise~ may anyone need to say more


Anyway just to add I am sure you love him by why are you waiting around when he is not showing any interest by calling you or seeing you. If he is going somewhere to clean up then you need to step back and give him the time. You stated that you love which may be true but follow your heart and thoughts and give him sometime and space. If things work out..great...

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:02 PM   #6
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: I Just Need Someone To Tell Me...

applause to you promisez...my mom has been clean almost four years and my dad almost two...it was such a bigger struggle for my dad...i wrote him a poem describing how i felt when he did drugs or drank...and that has really helped him along...he just reads it when he gets tempted...

to the poster, you need to give him time to discover himself again...recovery takes a long time....i wouldn't worry too much about him not calling...just give him some space...
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Old 05-14-2004, 03:39 PM   #7
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I Just Need Someone To Tell Me...

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
my mom has been clean almost four years and my dad almost two...it was such a bigger struggle for my dad...i wrote him a poem describing how i felt when he did drugs or drank...and that has really helped him along...he just reads it when he gets tempted...
Excal~ I think you are an angel . I mean when you were going through all of that stuff with your husband and you still gave him the chance and noe he is the best that any guy can be. As for your dad, by writing that peom its like a token to your heart and he charishes that. Evertime when he gets the temptation he turns to that because he doesn't want to hurt you. This is what I mean when I say your an angel these people stop because they don't want her.


Sorry just my little 2 cents

Last edited by eightball61; 05-14-2004 at 03:39 PM.

 
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