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Old 05-13-2004, 05:12 PM   #1
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Location: Cardiff, Wales
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Del_00 HB User
Unhappy 26 and still single

Hi everyone,

Just venting and looking for any opinions really.
I feel somehow I'm missing something and somehow women are missing me. It's the classic case of "the nice guy" I have plenty of female friends that tell me I am good looking (one said a bit like mr timberlake ), sensitive but I don't seem to be able to find someone where there is mutual wish to have a relationship.
I'm quiet but not shy, I'm not mr exciting but I'm not a geek either, I'm kind, intelligent, very loyal. I'm not a wimp, I have a temper , dont take ****** from nobody (which helps living in Cardiff! LOL ) and I'm not and certainly haven't always been an angel in the past. But I'm not very confident, outwardly anyway, I'm short at 5"7 ins but I have an inner confidence. I have spent long periods of ill health the last years (stomach problems) which have made me quite angry and depressed but I feel a strong person as a result.
So I accept that I have some issues going on but I can't find a girl who wants me for me when my girlfriends tell me how wonderful I am and how many girls would love to be with me. I found "the one" last year but it was unreciprocated, she wanted just friends. Tried internet dating, same thing found someone i liked we met, got on great for a few months but just didn't happen in the end.

I've got a lot to give to the right girl. I'd make a great dad and husband.
do the nice guys have to wait until women get to thirty and realise they don't want the "bad boy"? I'd love to meet an older woman

confused, lonely.........it's har to write it all down as I hear it in my head. any advice ladies? or gents i suppose

DeLbOy
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Old 05-14-2004, 07:24 AM   #2
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catm HB User
Re: 26 and still single

You probably just haven't met "the one" yet. I didn't meet my husband until he was 29 and he hadn't really been dating much for the couple years before we met. I know it's frustrating to wait when you think the timing is good now. I had been in that boat before I met my husband. I look back now and I can tell you that it wasn't the perfect timing. It doesn't sound like you're not dating or not meeting people, you just haven't found the right person. Give it time, she will come.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 08:12 AM   #3
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elatedgiraffe HB User
Re: 26 and still single

You have to be patient. Whats funny about the whole thing is when people are looking for someone it seems they can't find anyone, then when they are not looking opportunities come flying. I'm 25. I am in a relationship now for 2 years. He is very different than the guys I used to date. I really started looking for a nice guy around age 22. I woke up one morning and wanted to get married, have kids, have a NICE husband...what I looked for in a man totally changed. You sound like an awesome guy. 26 is still so young. Some men find their wife at 40. And you are lucky; you can make babies way longer than us women can. With that note, so whats the hurry? You will find her when the time is right. Now, enjoy being single. I promise you will find someone that will make you happy.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 08:29 AM   #4
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eightball61 HB User
Re: 26 and still single

Quote:
Originally Posted by elatedgiraffe
You have to be patient.
You do have to be patient... There are some ways to try to speed the process up like opening up more and being more confident. These women that you are good friends with why don't you ask one of them out? You can also try going out more to a pub/club to meet more woman or join a local group if you are not into the bar scene.

These are just some ways to speed thing up but everyone has there time and your time hasn't came yet. But it will....Be patient & enjoy being single for a little bit before being married for a lifetime.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 12:25 PM   #5
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: 26 and still single

i'll tell you just like i tell everyone else who posts about his...it'll happen when you are least expecting it...like they fall outta the sky...i agree with elated, it seems like when you are looking too hard it just doesn't seem to happen...patience is a virtue my friend
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Old 05-14-2004, 12:52 PM   #6
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SophiaM HB User
Re: 26 and still single

Quote:
Originally Posted by excaliburgrl
i'll tell you just like i tell everyone else who posts about his...it'll happen when you are least expecting it...like they fall outta the sky...i agree with elated, it seems like when you are looking too hard it just doesn't seem to happen...patience is a virtue my friend
That's what people always say and there might be some truth to it. My own sister met a guy when she least expected it, and was engaged to him 4 months later! He was the ONE. Yet she didn't even lift her finger to find him, nor was she really searching for anyone. Serendipity I guess. I also met some men when I least expected it in the past, but lately I'm not meeting anyone "by chance" so I can relate to how discouraging it must feel. But you're only 26, and you're a guy so you are expected to make the first move and ask a girl out. I sometimes see guys I"m attracted to on the train or in a store, but I would never ask them out myself, so at least you have more control. Good luck, I hope you do find a nice girl soon.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:25 PM   #7
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: 26 and still single

Well, you sound like a Normal type of guy to me, everyone has their share of issues...I too agree with the other posts...When your looking you can't find them...When you don't look they find you...I know, easier said then done.

It's mind over matter....I'm a female and I can relate as any man or woman on this board or on the outside world..WE all have been there along with you on how you feel...

All I can tell you is create your own life, live like there is no tomorrow and when you least expect it...whether it's tomorrow, 3months from now or a year from now...You will find that speical someone or they will find you.

I was 36 when I just gave up finding that speical someone, I accepted that it was no longer in the cards for me to meet another human / man who shared the values, adventure, mischiefs of life, fun in the sun guy to join me in the life of love and happeniess...I truly gave up, I was not miserable or felt sorry for myself just tired of the game of looking & dating...And whatta you know...
I finally met the man of my dreams. I met him when I was turing 37 kinda like my birthday present from the heavens Been w/him now for 5yrs
so, all I can say is Live Your Life, Be Happy, Find whatever it is to make you happy till that someone comes along....

Happy Friday to you!

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:33 PM   #8
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Ninispjc HB User
Re: 26 and still single

It's really hard to say without observing you in action with a girl and see how you interact with her and how you treat her. the only red flags I saw in your post were when you mentioned that you have a temper and that your illness have made you moody and depressed in the past. How do you deal with your anger and losing your temper and how does it come out with the women you date? Do you yell, raise your voice, throw things, whine, use abusive language? If so, this is something you could work on. If not, then I'd say just try to be the best you that you can be, work to be happy in your own skin, and with a little luck, the right lady will come along soon.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:35 PM   #9
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promisez HB User
Re: 26 and still single

You can be married or in a relationship tomorrow if you lower your standards low enough. (Another one of my silly favorite sayings)

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:40 PM   #10
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SophiaM HB User
Re: 26 and still single

Quote:
Originally Posted by promisez
You can be married or in a relationship tomorrow if you lower your standards low enough. (Another one of my silly favorite sayings)
Promisez, you're a GURU to me that is absolutely true.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:47 PM   #11
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CoreyP HB User
Re: 26 and still single

Sophia, you met me for chance. Someone who adores you for your brain. Unfortunately you live inside my monitor. We all must have a little faith. Don't get frustrated or desperate, Opposite sex hates that.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:51 PM   #12
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Ninispjc HB User
Re: 26 and still single

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
That's what people always say and there might be some truth to it. My own sister met a guy when she least expected it, and was engaged to him 4 months later! He was the ONE. Yet she didn't even lift her finger to find him, nor was she really searching for anyone. Serendipity I guess. I also met some men when I least expected it in the past, but lately I'm not meeting anyone "by chance" so I can relate to how discouraging it must feel. But you're only 26, and you're a guy so you are expected to make the first move and ask a girl out. I sometimes see guys I"m attracted to on the train or in a store, but I would never ask them out myself, so at least you have more control. Good luck, I hope you do find a nice girl soon.
This is interesting. There seems to be two schools of thought on this. I've heard some people, like you folks, say it happens when you least expect it and when you aren't looking for it. But some other folks I've heard say that finding a mate is like finding a job. You have to work work work at it, get out there, take very opportunity, smile, flirt, read books on where to meet people, join every social club under the sun, etc etc etc. I don't know. For me, I met my ex when I wasn't looking for love, it just happened out of the blue. Even though it didn't work, I still feel like we were fated to meet. There was a very big reason why we were in each other's lives for that time. I guess I'm a fatalist in that sense. It happens when opportunity and preparedness meet. You have to be the best you you can be, put your best foot forward to make the most of your chance when it comes, but it will happen in its own time, I think.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 01:58 PM   #13
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SophiaM HB User
Re: 26 and still single

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoreyP
Sophia, you met me for chance. Someone who adores you for your brain. Unfortunately you live inside my monitor. We all must have a little faith. Don't get frustrated or desperate, Opposite sex hates that.
Corey, you're the first man to adore me for my brain! LOL. As a blonde, I will definitely take that as a compliment. I am far from being desperate. Frustrated--maybe. But I bet you would be too when you have to hear your downstairs neighbors producing suspicious sounds every night and the damn walls in your building are so thin you can practically hear them breathe. Not to mention, if you had to organize your 24-yr-old sister's wedding and be her maid of honor. ok, must stop wallowing in self pity now.

 
Old 05-14-2004, 02:05 PM   #14
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promisez HB User
Re: 26 and still single

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
Promisez, you're a GURU to me that is absolutely true.
In that case this "guru" really hopes you and Corey get together for coffee soon. I know you two will figure it out soon how to do it

 
Old 05-14-2004, 02:08 PM   #15
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CoreyP HB User
Re: 26 and still single

I have no doubt that you are not desperate. I was speaking to our single friends as a whole. I pictured you a brunette. Weird. You are definitely single by choice, Why can't I meet anyone like you in the flesh. Anyway I am not off topic, I am 28 single, I belong on this thread. And I have been to my share of friends weddings.

 
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