You mean she knew he had a gf. Well, I don't advocate cheating and lying, but the poster is not the one who's cheated and it is NOT her responsibility to inform the girlfriend. Things are not always black and white, and I think if this was a one time only thing, it would be better for everyone involved if he doesn't tell the girlfriend. Just don't cheat AGAIN! And I sure hope they used protection because that would just be SO irresponsible if they didn't. If they didn't, then he definitely needs to tell her. Cheaters suck.
Cheaters do stink....
The poster is not responsible for the actions of decision making for her ex. but she did ask the question "should her tell her" which entitles to our responses that he should tell her and not lie about it.
and hope she never finds out down the road...things have a way of coming out eventually...i feel more betrayed that i found out down the road instead of back then, but everyone is different i guess...
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'to really live you must nearly die'-received from a vietnam vet
Well I think I'll be in the minority here but I think he SHOULD tell his girl friend. The truth always comes out in the end anyway so better she learn about it now from him.
And the sex with you wasn't "nothing" it was something. It was a sign that he's either not completely over his feelings for you and/or he has commitment issues, or he's a jerk who'd cheat on his girl friend!
Fact is whatever it does mean his girlfriend needs to know about it. She should not be in a relationship without knowing this. What she decides to do with this information is up to her. But she needs to know about this. It is SOOO wrong for him to continue a relationship with her while keeping this from her.
Yes you are going to risk loosing your ex as a friend because I'm willing to bet she's not going want you coming around him much now but honestly that's her right. And I think it'll do you some good in the long run as well. Some day you might want a relationship again and having your ex around as temptation isn't a good idea when you've just proven that you and he aren't able to keep your hands off each other. No offense meant there. But seriously you need to look at your feelings in regards to him. I don't buy it this idea that it was just sex and meant nothing. It always ALWAYS means something.
just to clear one thing up hes not my exhusband hes my exboyfriend. and we did use protection i woulndt be that stupid just because im a lot younger than you all think i am. i know how to be safe even if im doing something stupid. but i think that he should tell her because ive been in her position not that long ago, actually a month ago, but thats not the point. i also think he shouldnt tell her cause i know he would never do it agian. so why ruin something if it wont happen agian?
i know how to be safe even if im doing something stupid.
So you just said that you knew it was wrong, so then did you do it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by dark_angel
but i think that he should tell her because ive been in her position not that long ago, actually a month ago, but thats not the point. i also think he shouldnt tell her cause i know he would never do it agian. so why ruin something if it wont happen agian?
Now when you say you were in that position are you saying he did the same to you or was it another guy?
To me this guy seems to be a dog and one way or another she needs to know and split fast. No girl out there needs to be treated like this.
I kiss every step that my girlfriend walk on because I don't want to do anything to lose her. That means I am respectful, honest, and trust worthy. How hard is it to do that.
I am still sticking with it and he needs to tell her. How do you know he won't do it again? He did it with you? You are not him so you don't know how many other girls he invites over for drinks.
Last edited by eightball61; 05-17-2004 at 01:23 PM.
when i said ive been in that position i ment with another guy. and i know it wont happen agian at least not with me. but i think the reason he did this with me was because he still has feelings for me. and i know now that i dont have the same feelings for him any more. so thats how i know it wont happen agian.
damn it...sorry everyone...Your all right and I have completely misread this entire post...Again!
She is not the ex-wife..don't know how I missed that...where's my glasses..
Well to the post...I'm Old as you can see I didn't read your post correctly.
So your the ex girlfriend who is still friends with the ex boyfriend who has a girlfriend and you slept with your ex boyfriend and are promising to never do it again...I think NOT, once that new girlfriend finds out..all hell will break lose.
What you did was wrong, what the boyfriend did was wrong, NOW you decide you want to make it right. You should have thought of that before hand not now...Well as we say here on this board and in life....How would you feel if you had a boyfriend who was friends with his exgirlfriend and then he slept with her? How would be the best way for you to find out? How will you handle it? You should both feel horrible but what's done is done...
Now, it's the Girlfriend who will feel horrible once she finds out...
Hope you can handle it and the outcome...
I think Jeff hit the nail on the head... it's about respect! He didn't respect her enough to be faithful and now he's compounding that lack of respect by not telling her. If he really cares about her he'll be honest about this.
Dark_Angel the fact that he still has feelings for you is even MORE of a reason why he should tell his girl friend... or just break up with her. He should not be with someone if he's mind (and his pants) are still with someone else.
Ok, so we told her. We differed in opinions, but we tried to give the best advice. Now he can take it or leave it, it's all up to him. Besides, again, it's not her problem and I think she's spending too much of her energy thinking about it. We don't even know if he feels remotely remorseful for what he did. End of discussion, at least as far as I'm concerned.
but i think the reason he did this with me was because he still has feelings for me. and i know now that i dont have the same feelings for him any more. so thats how i know it wont happen agian.
Feelings or no feelings he still cheated on a girlfriend which make him dishonest no matter how you look at it. You are a threat to the relationship and if you want them to get over thing then you may need to stand back. But as a person she needs to know about her husband dishonesty.
Ok, so we told her. We differed in opinions, but we tried to give the best advice. Now he can take it or leave it, it's all up to him. Besides, again, it's not her problem and I think she's spending too much of her energy thinking about it. We don't even know if he feels remotely remorseful for what he did. End of discussion, at least as far as I'm concerned.
I stand corrected...I did NOT read that or I Overlook it... 
