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Old 05-17-2004, 12:20 PM   #16
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlHarley
LOL...



The POST asked the question if she should Tell her exhusband's girlfriend that they slept together...?
The poster actually ask if "he" meaning the her ex. tell his girlfriend. In that case I say he should. But if it was the poster then he should be reliable to still say it not her. He broke the trust circle.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 12:32 PM   #17
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Re: I feel horrible

Personally I think the girlfriend should know by all means. Isnt it one of everyones worst nightmares to be cheated on and then lied to about it? It was mine,and it happened to me. I found out a year and a half later. I felt SO foolish and betrayed, not only because I was cheated on, but hurt MORE so because I was lied to for that long, and I believed it, I cannot describe to you , how stupid I felt. It also deeply hurt me that he chose to remain friends with her after what had happened. ( They didnt have a real friendship, they had only met once, when this happened)
SO I guess I am just biased, because I am putting myself in HER position. I think she should know, because the truth always has a way of coming out in the end. Its just so sad that it's always in the innocent party that has to suffer for someone elses decisions and actions.

 
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Old 05-17-2004, 12:33 PM   #18
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Re: I feel horrible

I am going to have to disagree with my dear Sophia, if my girl did that to me, and I trust her, I need to know. What if I find out somehow way down the line? Then I could never trust her again. Does he want that hanging over his head the whole relationship. Relationship=trust and Loyalty. She knew he had a boyfriend and she did it anyway, she was in the wrong as well. Here we go.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 12:33 PM   #19
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Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
The poster actually ask if "he" meaning the her ex. tell his girlfriend. In that case I say he should. But if it was the poster then he should be reliable to still say it not her. He broke the trust circle.
OPPS! I stand corrected...I did NOT read that or I Overlook it...
damn, now do I need to change my post again?

OK, well...Now I'm curious as to why the post feels the need to ask if her exhusband should tell his current girlfriend? Did she want for this to happen?
and how will our answers help? If I said yeah, tell your exhusband to tell his girlfriend he slept w/you...what will that do to you and your relationship w/your ex? Will you still be on friendly terms? Do you like this girl?
I'm confused to say the least....

 
Old 05-17-2004, 12:47 PM   #20
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Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoreyP
I am going to have to disagree with my dear Sophia, if my girl did that to me, and I trust her, I need to know. What if I find out somehow way down the line? Then I could never trust her again. Does he want that hanging over his head the whole relationship. Relationship=trust and Loyalty. She knew he had a boyfriend and she did it anyway, she was in the wrong as well. Here we go.
You mean she knew he had a gf. Well, I don't advocate cheating and lying, but the poster is not the one who's cheated and it is NOT her responsibility to inform the girlfriend. Things are not always black and white, and I think if this was a one time only thing, it would be better for everyone involved if he doesn't tell the girlfriend. Just don't cheat AGAIN! And I sure hope they used protection because that would just be SO irresponsible if they didn't. If they didn't, then he definitely needs to tell her. Cheaters suck.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 12:50 PM   #21
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Re: I feel horrible

Sophia, She knowingly assisted a cheater. Why would she sleep with a cheater?

 
Old 05-17-2004, 12:50 PM   #22
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlHarley
OPPS! I stand corrected...I did NOT read that or I Overlook it...
damn, now do I need to change my post again?

Thats ok Harley I do that all the time

 
Old 05-17-2004, 12:53 PM   #23
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
You mean she knew he had a gf. Well, I don't advocate cheating and lying, but the poster is not the one who's cheated and it is NOT her responsibility to inform the girlfriend. Things are not always black and white, and I think if this was a one time only thing, it would be better for everyone involved if he doesn't tell the girlfriend. Just don't cheat AGAIN! And I sure hope they used protection because that would just be SO irresponsible if they didn't. If they didn't, then he definitely needs to tell her. Cheaters suck.
Cheaters do stink....

The poster is not responsible for the actions of decision making for her ex. but she did ask the question "should her tell her" which entitles to our responses that he should tell her and not lie about it.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 12:58 PM   #24
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Re: I feel horrible

Should he tell her? Only if he wants to be honest with his girlfriend, Or he can not tell her and hope his conscience isn't there.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:00 PM   #25
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Re: I feel horrible

and hope she never finds out down the road...things have a way of coming out eventually...i feel more betrayed that i found out down the road instead of back then, but everyone is different i guess...
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Old 05-17-2004, 01:07 PM   #26
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Re: I feel horrible

Well I think I'll be in the minority here but I think he SHOULD tell his girl friend. The truth always comes out in the end anyway so better she learn about it now from him.

And the sex with you wasn't "nothing" it was something. It was a sign that he's either not completely over his feelings for you and/or he has commitment issues, or he's a jerk who'd cheat on his girl friend!

Fact is whatever it does mean his girlfriend needs to know about it. She should not be in a relationship without knowing this. What she decides to do with this information is up to her. But she needs to know about this. It is SOOO wrong for him to continue a relationship with her while keeping this from her.

Yes you are going to risk loosing your ex as a friend because I'm willing to bet she's not going want you coming around him much now but honestly that's her right. And I think it'll do you some good in the long run as well. Some day you might want a relationship again and having your ex around as temptation isn't a good idea when you've just proven that you and he aren't able to keep your hands off each other. No offense meant there. But seriously you need to look at your feelings in regards to him. I don't buy it this idea that it was just sex and meant nothing. It always ALWAYS means something.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:08 PM   #27
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Re: I feel horrible

just to clear one thing up hes not my exhusband hes my exboyfriend. and we did use protection i woulndt be that stupid just because im a lot younger than you all think i am. i know how to be safe even if im doing something stupid. but i think that he should tell her because ive been in her position not that long ago, actually a month ago, but thats not the point. i also think he shouldnt tell her cause i know he would never do it agian. so why ruin something if it wont happen agian?

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:10 PM   #28
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smartgal HB User
Re: I feel horrible

I'm sorry, but when honesty only serves to hurt someone, it loses any virtue. There is absolutely no reason to tell her.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:19 PM   #29
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Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by dark_angel
i also think he shouldnt tell her cause i know he would never do it agian. so why ruin something if it wont happen agian?
I agree.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:20 PM   #30
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by dark_angel
i know how to be safe even if im doing something stupid.
So you just said that you knew it was wrong, so then did you do it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dark_angel
but i think that he should tell her because ive been in her position not that long ago, actually a month ago, but thats not the point. i also think he shouldnt tell her cause i know he would never do it agian. so why ruin something if it wont happen agian?
Now when you say you were in that position are you saying he did the same to you or was it another guy?

To me this guy seems to be a dog and one way or another she needs to know and split fast. No girl out there needs to be treated like this.

I kiss every step that my girlfriend walk on because I don't want to do anything to lose her. That means I am respectful, honest, and trust worthy. How hard is it to do that.

I am still sticking with it and he needs to tell her. How do you know he won't do it again? He did it with you? You are not him so you don't know how many other girls he invites over for drinks.

Last edited by eightball61; 05-17-2004 at 01:23 PM.

 
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