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Old 05-17-2004, 01:24 PM   #31
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Re: I feel horrible

Sometimes the truth hurts, in this case it will. But she does have a right to know who her boyfriend is sleeping with.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:25 PM   #32
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Re: I feel horrible

Well, I think this discussion is pretty moot, because it's ultimately the guy's decision and he is not here asking for advice.

 
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Old 05-17-2004, 01:26 PM   #33
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Re: I feel horrible

I agree. I wonder where he is????

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:26 PM   #34
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Re: I feel horrible

when i said ive been in that position i ment with another guy. and i know it wont happen agian at least not with me. but i think the reason he did this with me was because he still has feelings for me. and i know now that i dont have the same feelings for him any more. so thats how i know it wont happen agian.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:27 PM   #35
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Re: I feel horrible

damn it...sorry everyone...Your all right and I have completely misread this entire post...Again!
She is not the ex-wife..don't know how I missed that...where's my glasses..

Well to the post...I'm Old as you can see I didn't read your post correctly.
So your the ex girlfriend who is still friends with the ex boyfriend who has a girlfriend and you slept with your ex boyfriend and are promising to never do it again...I think NOT, once that new girlfriend finds out..all hell will break lose.

What you did was wrong, what the boyfriend did was wrong, NOW you decide you want to make it right. You should have thought of that before hand not now...Well as we say here on this board and in life....How would you feel if you had a boyfriend who was friends with his exgirlfriend and then he slept with her? How would be the best way for you to find out? How will you handle it? You should both feel horrible but what's done is done...
Now, it's the Girlfriend who will feel horrible once she finds out...
Hope you can handle it and the outcome...

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:30 PM   #36
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Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
Well, I think this discussion is pretty moot, because it's ultimately the guy's decision and he is not here asking for advice.
But she is!!! simply we are explaining what the best thing for "him' to do. She is asking for "him".

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:33 PM   #37
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Re: I feel horrible

I think Jeff hit the nail on the head... it's about respect! He didn't respect her enough to be faithful and now he's compounding that lack of respect by not telling her. If he really cares about her he'll be honest about this.

Dark_Angel the fact that he still has feelings for you is even MORE of a reason why he should tell his girl friend... or just break up with her. He should not be with someone if he's mind (and his pants) are still with someone else.

Last edited by JLKH; 05-17-2004 at 01:35 PM.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:35 PM   #38
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Re: I feel horrible

Ok, so we told her. We differed in opinions, but we tried to give the best advice. Now he can take it or leave it, it's all up to him. Besides, again, it's not her problem and I think she's spending too much of her energy thinking about it. We don't even know if he feels remotely remorseful for what he did. End of discussion, at least as far as I'm concerned.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:35 PM   #39
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Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by dark_angel
but i think the reason he did this with me was because he still has feelings for me. and i know now that i dont have the same feelings for him any more. so thats how i know it wont happen agian.

Feelings or no feelings he still cheated on a girlfriend which make him dishonest no matter how you look at it. You are a threat to the relationship and if you want them to get over thing then you may need to stand back. But as a person she needs to know about her husband dishonesty.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:44 PM   #40
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Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
Ok, so we told her. We differed in opinions, but we tried to give the best advice. Now he can take it or leave it, it's all up to him. Besides, again, it's not her problem and I think she's spending too much of her energy thinking about it. We don't even know if he feels remotely remorseful for what he did. End of discussion, at least as far as I'm concerned.
I'm with you...

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:46 PM   #41
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Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
Ok, so we told her. We differed in opinions, but we tried to give the best advice. Now he can take it or leave it, it's all up to him. Besides, again, it's not her problem and I think she's spending too much of her energy thinking about it. We don't even know if he feels remotely remorseful for what he did. End of discussion, at least as far as I'm concerned.
Frankly I think it is her problem. In my opinion she is just as guilty as he is. She knew this guy was involved and she did it anyway. She decided to be "the other woman" and now has to take some responsibility for it. I'm not saying she should tell the girl friend but I think she should strongly encourage the guy too. That is if she is remorseful about it.

The way I see it is if you know someone is married or in a serious relationship and you sleep with them anyway then YOU have cheated too. You have made a conscious choice to screw someone over by sleeping with their partner.

I'm sure many will disagree with me but I just don't agree with this "it's not my problem, I'm not the one in a relationship" crap.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:57 PM   #42
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Re: I feel horrible

Listen, there's always going to be SOMEONE willing to sleep with someone else's boyfriend or husband. If not this girl, then it would be another. It IS up to the person who is in a relationship to NOT make themselves available to someone else. Nobody was twisting his arm.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:57 PM   #43
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Re: I feel horrible

I am 100 percent with you on that one. See we agree sometimes. There would be a lot less cheating if everyone had respect for relationships.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 01:59 PM   #44
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Re: I feel horrible

Doesn't anyone have any morals when it when it comes to knowing whats right and whats wrong????

Last edited by eightball61; 05-17-2004 at 02:07 PM.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 02:00 PM   #45
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Re: I feel horrible

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoreyP
I am 100 percent with you on that one. See we agree sometimes. There would be a lot less cheating if everyone had respect for relationships.
That would be an ideal situation. Unfortunately, we do not live in an ideal world..

 
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