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Old 05-16-2004, 02:41 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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jet0002 HB User
what should i do...?

My girlfriend (21) broke up with me (23) two months ago after being together for 2 yrs. I then found out that she began to talk to her ex very shortly after our break up i guess to try and recindle their relationship. It was so incredibly hard to deal with and after a month I finally began to accept that she was out of my life and I had to move on. Then she called me one night telling me that she still was so confused about what to do and that she still loved me and had a lot of feelings for me. I told her that it was too early to try and be friends if that was her intention. Then two days later she asked me to meet her at a bar. She basically cried the whole night hugging me and telling me that she still loved me and was so confused. I asked her if she was dating her ex and she said no that she didnt know how to feel about her future and who she wanted to be with. At that point I didnt even try and discuss us trying to get back together because I felt very vulnerable and just tried to maintain my distance. Ever since then I cant get her out of my mind. I love her incredibly and miss her so much. I then called her the next week after us meeting to see what she felt and she said that she probably shouldnt have called me but felt she needed to. I then asked if she saw a future for us or if I should just try and accept the fact that it was over and move on. She just replied that she thought that would be best. I was so confused why she even called me telling her feelings if she didnt want to get back together. If she wanted it to be over, why did she call me and ask me to hang out so she could cry on my shoulder for hrs? Then a week later she im'd me and we talked, but not about our relationship. I just dont understand what is going on and it is so hard for me to get over her if we still talk. What do you feel her intentions are and why if she wanted it to be over that she still communicates with me after breaking up only 2 months ago? I want to be with her so bad and it is so hard to get over her, but I dont want to look like the ex who cant accept the fact that it is over and keeps trying to get back together, which I feel would just push her away. But if I dont act I am afraid that I will lose her forever. What should I do?

 
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Old 05-16-2004, 03:02 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Easton, Pa
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promisez HB User
Re: what should i do...?

You're her backup it sounds like to me. Keeping you on a leash kind of. Break away, no contact until she can figure out what she wants BY HERSELF. Or just keep on being taken out for walks so she can feel comfortable and not so alone. You should accept a stable relationship and this isn't one by a long shot.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 08:00 AM   #3
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,639
eightball61 HB User
Re: what should i do...?

Her mind is really confused on what she wants. What you need to do is just give her the space and time so she can make her mind up. She does miss you and thats why she ask you to go out but at the sametime she wants to be away from you. Don't give in...Give her the space so she can try to determine what she wants.

I am not doughting that she wants back in with her ex. and thats whats confusing her. She is used to have someone in her life but what she needs is to expierence what single life is again. The only thing you can do is kee your distance until she is all set.

 
Old 05-17-2004, 12:33 PM   #4
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5,545
SophiaM HB User
Re: what should i do...?

My advice? Start dating someone else asap, and watch how fast this "confused" girlfriend of yours comes running back to you! But this time, don't take her back so eagerly. Date her but don't give up dating other women either. Not until she has proved to you that she really wants to be with you and that she won't be changing her mind back and forth. Make her WORK for it. Trust me, when she sees that someone else wants you, she'll be kicking herself in the teeth for letting you get away.

 
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