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Old 05-17-2004, 04:28 PM   #1
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am I wrong?

Hey everyone, I haven't posted on this site in a while, But I really need some help. I'm currently seeing a girl that I've been with for about 2 years now. Well, she's in school and doesn't work. But I found out last week that she's going to start working in about 2 weeks. So where's the problem? Well, I have no idea why but the minute she told me I got this kind of upset feeling. Sort of jealous in a way. It's pretty weird, of course I didn't let her know that but I can't help but feel the way I do. I know I should be happy for her but instead here I am only thinking of myself which I know is very selfish. The thing is that I don't even know why it is that this is bothering me. What could it be? And how can I get over this feeling cuz it's killing me. I love this girl very much but right now I feel like the biggest jerk because I should be happy for her but in reality, I wish she never got the job. Thanks for all responses.

 
Old 05-18-2004, 03:12 AM   #2
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Re: am I wrong?

Hey! Ok so I have a few questions for you and then maybe I can help. Are you worried that you might not be able to see her as often? Is she working at a place like hooters? Is she working with a lot of men? Worried she might meet someone else at work? Are you jealous and insecure a lot? Ok well write back and hopefully we can figure something out! good luck!

 
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Old 05-18-2004, 04:30 AM   #3
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Re: am I wrong?

It's important to understand that everyone has some level of jealousy in them. There are absolutely no exeptions. It is .... (urgh... I'm about to say that word, stand back) NORMAL. But, you are way ahead of the game here.

You clearly recognize it for what it is and what it can do.

The new job will probably give her some sense of independence and increaser her level of confidence, but that is a good thing. Why else would she or anyone else for that matter be going to school for otherwise? Typically, to get a good job afterwards.

Take satisfaction that she is happy to be starting a new job and be happy with her, not just for her. You shouldn't be jealous that she will probably be working among other people and males in general with the fear that she may meet someone else. She could have just as easily pulled that off while in school.

Last edited by Hoop; 05-18-2004 at 04:35 AM.

 
Old 05-18-2004, 07:12 AM   #4
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Re: am I wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by confused20
Hey everyone, I haven't posted on this site in a while, But I really need some help. I'm currently seeing a girl that I've been with for about 2 years now. Well, she's in school and doesn't work. But I found out last week that she's going to start working in about 2 weeks. So where's the problem? Well, I have no idea why but the minute she told me I got this kind of upset feeling. Sort of jealous in a way. It's pretty weird, of course I didn't let her know that but I can't help but feel the way I do. I know I should be happy for her but instead here I am only thinking of myself which I know is very selfish. The thing is that I don't even know why it is that this is bothering me. What could it be? And how can I get over this feeling cuz it's killing me. I love this girl very much but right now I feel like the biggest jerk because I should be happy for her but in reality, I wish she never got the job. Thanks for all responses.
I can relate her and it is jealousy but you have to let it go and let her do what she needs to do. You are not used of her working and therfore she is always around when you call or want to see her.

Now, she is in school and working which means that you are going to see her less. The feelings shouldn't change if they are still strong for each other. You are feeling down because when you have a break or somthing she won't be there to talk to.

In relationship things change all the time and you have to except the change or things will gradually fall apart. Let your feeling out but don't do it in a way that will hold her backl from you or the job. Its change and you'll have to adapt to it.

 
Old 05-18-2004, 09:52 AM   #5
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Re: am I wrong?

Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate them. Well, the thing is that I guess I am kind of worried that I obviously wont be able to see her as much, and she'll be working around a lot of other men. It's nothing like hooters (thank god) but it is a place where she will constantly be around a lot of people. The thing is that now I only get to see her about once or twice a week, due to my work and school schedule which is tough in itself. Im scared that eventually we'll see each other even less and she'll meet someone new and that'll be it. This wouldn't bother me as much but I know that this tends to happen. We're both fairly young and seeing as this is really her first time being out "in the real world" things tend to get tempting and people change. This is in a way my insecurity because it has happend to me before. The last girl I was with left me for a guy she works with. That hurt REALLY bad and it really messed me up. At first she claimed that she didn't like him but eventually they started spending more time together and well the rest is history. So now I have that fear that it'll happen again, and I don't think I could handle it happening again. So that's my story alwyzsick and everyone else, I wasn't even a jealous person but that incident made me a little fearful. Thanks for any more help.

 
Old 05-18-2004, 10:04 AM   #6
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Re: am I wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by confused20
Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate them. Well, the thing is that I guess I am kind of worried that I obviously wont be able to see her as much, and she'll be working around a lot of other men. It's nothing like hooters (thank god) but it is a place where she will constantly be around a lot of people. The thing is that now I only get to see her about once or twice a week, due to my work and school schedule which is tough in itself. Im scared that eventually we'll see each other even less and she'll meet someone new and that'll be it. This wouldn't bother me as much but I know that this tends to happen. We're both fairly young and seeing as this is really her first time being out "in the real world" things tend to get tempting and people change. This is in a way my insecurity because it has happend to me before. The last girl I was with left me for a guy she works with. That hurt REALLY bad and it really messed me up. At first she claimed that she didn't like him but eventually they started spending more time together and well the rest is history. So now I have that fear that it'll happen again, and I don't think I could handle it happening again. So that's my story alwyzsick and everyone else, I wasn't even a jealous person but that incident made me a little fearful. Thanks for any more help.

Its ok to be fearful but sometime we have to just let go and go on with life. I am fearful too in my position but I have come to learn to accept what come and face the challenges.

It is much easier for something to happen sooner so you can get it over and done with. I hate waiting for things that I am fearful of...I would rather it just come so I can adapt to it. Your case is the same as mine and many people out there have to deal with these situations...Its hard but you just have to find a way.

 
Old 05-18-2004, 10:12 AM   #7
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Re: am I wrong?

yep, if something were to happen i'd rather it happen now...do you trust your girl, or is it that you don't trust the guys? everyone has a bit of jealousy in them...i'm a bit jealous myself cause my hubby has weekend duty thru june and he works with a lot of girls...so i can sympathize a bit...
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Old 05-18-2004, 12:16 PM   #8
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Re: am I wrong?

Well, you can't keep her locked in a cage and away from the real world forever so you'll just have to accept and trust in her. If she flys away from you then it wasn't meant to be.

 
Old 05-18-2004, 01:06 PM   #9
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Re: am I wrong?

I guess u guys are right, it's not that I don't trust her or trying to keep her locked up, I just know this is going to change things a lot. And believe me where I live, guys here are very unrespectful. To them "I have a boyfriend" means "try a little harder." But I guess it was going to happen eventually so I'll get used to it and trust her. Thanks for the help.

 
Old 05-18-2004, 01:50 PM   #10
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Re: am I wrong?

Quote:
Originally Posted by confused20
so I'll get used to it and trust her.


Thats the words I wanted to hear Good spirit

 
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