Originally Posted by SophiaM
Best advice anyone could give you. This guy is a DEADBEAT. He's making all kinds of excuses, including his health, to get you to feel sorry for him, so you continue to support him! He's not even your husband for god's sake. Sounds like he's just draining you and sucking your money. Get rid of him is all I can say.
Good observation, Sophia. I do have to figure that she knows this guy is a deadbeat and a negative force in her life. So the real question is, why does she choose to stay. She needs to address the reasons she chooses to stay rather than deflecting her responsibility to act onto his obvious shortcomings.
You can only do what you have control over. She has full control over leaving him; she has zero control over him changing. I see these as really very black and white. Either make a change that you already know is necessary for you to enjoy a different lifestyle, or stay and quit whining. Making good decisions and acting on them is often incredibly difficult and challenging. This is no excuse for caving in to the clearly wrong decision.
I think there would be no value in offering her advice related to him. He is not the one posting and asking for input. He is not the problem. Making the difficult decision appears to be her problem.