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Old 05-21-2004, 04:21 AM   #1
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I want this girl but.......... Need help!

Alright here is my delemia. At my work there is this girl that I see like once a day for like a little while (more like 5-8 minutes) a day. She actually happens to work at another company but I go up there once a day to pick up some shipments. I really like this girl and like a few days ago I started to get to know this girl and she's been emailing me and we've chatted on the phone for awhile. The problem is is that there is this guy who i work with who happens to be covering someones shift while the other person is on holidays; which gives this guy an opportunity to get to know this girl even though he doesn't work like really close to her. This girl was really into me like 5 days ago and last week we talked about going out this weekend, and so I'm thinking we have plans, but when I talked to her today she asked me what I was going to do on the weekend. Hello there, I mean did she forget our conversation or what? This to me sounds pretty silly and kinda stupid. Now for the past two days I've went up there to see her, all I here from her is stuff about this other guy who I work with, which really pisses me off. I mean I really thought she was into me and all of a sudden she starts talking about this other guy, and being me a nice guy I just nod and listen to her. To add insult to injury to me this guy makes an excuse that he has no car and he asked her if she could take him out for lunch. He's telling her that his car will be in repairs for a while. What a guy!!?!!?! This in turn however makes her feel sympathic to him. Thank goodness this guy is going to back to his regluar shift by monday but I feel that given this amount of time he got to spend with her up there makes me kinda wonder if she even remotely likes me the way she did before. I don't understand girls. Can somebody please tell me why this is happening to me????? I'm a really nice guy and I guess finding a sweet girl is hard to find

 
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Old 05-21-2004, 07:21 AM   #2
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Flood84 HB User
Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

What is preventing you from asking her out?

 
Old 05-21-2004, 08:00 AM   #3
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

it sounds to me like she is trying to feel you out...she might not be ready to settle down with one person and wants to date around...take the plunge and ask her out...get to know her...and keep your head high...there are sweet girls everywhere
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Old 05-21-2004, 11:12 PM   #4
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

when she asked you what you were doing that weekend...she might have been testing you to see if you would say something like "well, hanging out with you!" Your response might have given her the impression that you weren't into her anymore too!

I don't get guys! lol

blue

oh yeah, just ask her out! a movie, a dinner, anything! it won't hurt anything.

 
Old 05-22-2004, 03:38 AM   #5
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

Alright as if this couldn't get any worse, the guy is going to take her out for dinner tonight. He didn't mention anything about that to me until I heard it straight from her mouth. She did however told me that he wanted to have dinner with her, but she was so kind and insisted that I would go along with her since she didnt' want to go just with him. I couldn't go because I would still be stuck at work, and so to speak I didn't go. I would go but it would just feel so awkward and no doubt the night would be full of tension if I were to go. This (*******) as i'd like to call him is really getting on my nerves and it's like he's making all the first moves before I do. This guy already has a girlfriend and I just dont' understand why he would be so interested in her that much. This guy is like a intern at our company from overseas to get experience, so I guess it's all right for him to cheat on his girlfriend on the side. What should I do? I want to win her love for me but I dont' know what I to do.

 
Old 05-22-2004, 03:40 AM   #6
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

I'm definitely am going to ask her out this weekend and see what she's doing. I'm crossing my fingers and hope to god that she'll go out with me.

 
Old 05-22-2004, 05:57 AM   #7
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

You need to get off your doofus and make your move a little quicker if the other guy is making all the first moves. If she says no then she says no. You will then know where you stand, but you won't know if you don't ask.

It's not the other guy's fault. I mean the other guy is not doing anything wrong really, other than what you are trying to do and asking her out. You could clue her in about his alleged car troubles and his other girlfriend to help her figure out where she really stands with this other guy. Hey, this is reality here. Get the advantage. You are not playing some European gentleman's game here.

I guess it's a good sign that she asked you also to go to dinner with them. It kinda tells you she is not entirely comfortable with him yet and nothing more than dinner is expected.. this time.

The fact that he is going to his regular shift really doesn't mean anything if he has her phone number/email and can call her up anytime to go out, especially on weekends. So get moving and ask her out.

One last thing you should realize is that "nice" guys don't get the girls. That's just the way it is.

 
Old 05-22-2004, 07:59 AM   #8
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

Hoop is right on the money: what are you waiting for, dude? Ask her out, be the one to make your moves first, before the other guy. The other guy doesn't give a rat's a** about you, he's just looking out for his best interest. As should you. Be more aggressive and take the initiative. Girls like "a man with a plan." If you act all wishy washy, talking about the weekend but not really coming out and saying "hey, I would like to take you out to dinner and a movie Saturday night. would you like to go out?" If you don't come up to her with a concrete plan, she's going to think you're not that interested. As simple as that. Be the man. And don't worry so much about the other guy. Try to have an attitude that you're better than him and act as if you're the only one going out with her. Treat him like he doesn't even exist and you're not in the least threatened by him. That's what he's doing and it's working in his favor right now.

 
Old 05-22-2004, 05:35 PM   #9
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

Don't bother. She's already yanking you around and playing the passive-aggressive role. And what's with this nice guy stuff? You don't sound any nicer than other guys to me, the only difference is that you're afraid to speak your mind. I think that's one of many reasons "nice guys" fail so badly -- the personality type you're talking about comes from desperation or lack of confidence.

Either ask her out directly and quit playing games, or decide she's not worth it. Agonizing is only going to mess you up in the head, and she's not going to help you out of this dilemma. Seems like she's trying to make you feel worse, maybe because you never made the move in the first place.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 06:51 AM   #10
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

I disagree, Stolie. If this guy is sending her platonic emails and acting like the guy "who is there to listen"...she may not know he likes her. There was a guy at my work who was into me for months and I was completely dense to it until he up and kissed me. I really had NO idea that he liked me because he had only behaved platonically up to that point.

Lamal3, good idea to ask her out this weekend. I would (also) nonchalantly let her know that the other guy has a girlfriend already... Myself being female, this would make me drop him in a *second*.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 05:59 PM   #11
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

Did you kiss him back?

 
Old 05-24-2004, 06:33 PM   #12
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

....(Blush)....Yes!

 
Old 05-25-2004, 08:09 AM   #13
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamal3
I'm definitely am going to ask her out this weekend and see what she's doing. I'm crossing my fingers and hope to god that she'll go out with me.

That is a very good idea and let us knoe how it goes You need to really step infront of this guy if you have compotition. With situations like this you can sit back and wait then dread that you should have done it sooner.

 
Old 05-26-2004, 03:48 AM   #14
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Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

Hey guys thanks for all your good advise. I did not however take some of stolies advise, but thanks anyways. And let me add that the other guy is the bad guy for thinking about cheating on his girlfriend even though shes so far away. I on the other hand have no girlfriend and nothing to hide.


I finally get to go out with this girl. I'm so happy and really excited. She apparently doesn't like the other guy and nothing more than just a friend/co worker. I just got off the phone with her and I get a really good vibe coming from her that she's really into me. She's already talking about what we are going to do this weekend as well and she' gotten me really hyped up I guess I was really honest and upfront with her which is really what she likes about me. And one other real nice thing she told me is that there is this co worker she works with who was the one that recommends her to go out with me. I had no clue of this and all I can say is that the stars were on my side. I guess nice guys do finish first.

 
Old 05-26-2004, 08:20 AM   #15
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I want this girl but.......... Need help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamal3

I finally get to go out with this girl. I'm so happy and really excited. She apparently doesn't like the other guy and nothing more than just a friend/co worker. I just got off the phone with her and I get a really good vibe coming from her that she's really into me. She's already talking about what we are going to do this weekend as well and she' gotten me really hyped up I guess I was really honest and upfront with her which is really what she likes about me. And one other real nice thing she told me is that there is this co worker she works with who was the one that recommends her to go out with me. I had no clue of this and all I can say is that the stars were on my side. I guess nice guys do finish first.

Nice to hear that you both are going out & keep us posted

 
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