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Old 05-23-2004, 08:41 AM   #1
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Exclamation A little help please!

NEVERMIND SORRY TO HAVE WASTED YOUR TIME AND MINE

Last edited by mrmagicmike; 05-23-2004 at 12:34 PM.

 
Old 05-23-2004, 09:01 AM   #2
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Re: A little help please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrmagicmike
First off I am 21 years old and me and my fiancée have only been together for a lil over a month... Like last night for instance...before we go to bed
1. You are 21

2. You have only been together a little over a month.

3. You already call her your fiancé

3. You already live together

4. There are red flags already or you would not be asking for advice on an internet relationships forum

There is so much more to this than the simple question you are asking. Too fast to call her your fiancé and too fast to be living together. If you cannot read her and have trouble with the fact that she doesn't show her feelings...you are in the wrong place at the wrong time and have pushed too hard, too quickly.

 
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Old 05-23-2004, 09:13 AM   #3
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Re: A little help please!

To clear up a few things we are not living together she just stays with me or I stay with her. Which ever is more convenient to the other. I am just looking for advise I am not saying our relationship has fallen apart or anything I just want to know is this kind of stuff normal that's all. I am very happy with her and was just concerned. I know you all are thinking yeah its too soon but when you know you know and I stand by my choice to ask her to marry me and she said yes so she must be happy too. I just had some questions that's all. I didn't need to be torn down by someone on here.

 
Old 05-23-2004, 09:37 AM   #4
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Re: A little help please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrmagicmike
I just had some questions that's all. I didn't need to be torn down by someone on here.
You're not being torn down. I gave you advice you didn't want to hear. There is a big difference between the two. One day you will come to understand just how significant red flags are.

 
Old 05-23-2004, 09:45 AM   #5
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Re: A little help please!

Well I apologize for taking it the wrong way. Thanks for your comments.

 
Old 05-23-2004, 11:27 AM   #6
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Re: A little help please!

You cannot expect to know her moods or know her very well after only a month. If you sleep together every night then I'd say that you live together.

 
Old 05-23-2004, 12:21 PM   #7
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Re: A little help please!

I hope you are planning to have a long engagement because a month is not long enough to know your sig. other well enough. You want to know everything you can know about your girl before you marry her. Better to have surprises before marrying her than after.

 
Old 05-23-2004, 09:33 PM   #8
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Re: A little help please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrmagicmike
To clear up a few things we are not living together she just stays with me or I stay with her. Which ever is more convenient to the other. I am just looking for advise I am not saying our relationship has fallen apart or anything I just want to know is this kind of stuff normal that's all. I am very happy with her and was just concerned. I know you all are thinking yeah its too soon but when you know you know and I stand by my choice to ask her to marry me and she said yes so she must be happy too. I just had some questions that's all. I didn't need to be torn down by someone on here.
Mike,
I dated a guy like you once and although he was a great guy, there was too much seriousness in the "new" relationship.

In less than a month, he wanted to move in with me and talked about our future together.

At first, I thought, 'this could be cool' but once I thought about it, it freaked me out. It was scary. This was the 'rest-of-my-life-decision' I was being asked to make within a months time.

I think she doesnt show her feelings because she doesnt know what to do.

I finally got to the point where I broke up with him.

Girls get scared too. Slow it down.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 06:35 AM   #9
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Re: A little help please!

Ok I dont know the what wass said inthe original post but I figured I would throw in my 2 cents.
A month may not seem like all that much time but what we need to remember is we are all different hence how we go about relationships and time frames are different. I only knew my dh three months before he asked me to marry him and we were engaged three months before we got married.
My best friend whom I have known since I was 9 yrs old beat me to the alter. I arranged for one of Dh's friends to meet her and the very night they met he kept bugging me on the drive back to his place if I thought she would freak if he told her he loved her and wanted to marry her. I laughed and said from what I saw of their first date I wouldnt be surprised int he least if she accepted his proposal. Well for the next couple of weeks we hardly saw dh's friend because as soon as he got off duty he took off to drive the 45 minutes to her house and hung out there alot. This relationship started off on Oct 16th and on Dec 22nd they got married...this Dec 22nd will make their 10 yr anniversary and they are expecting their 4th child around Thanksgiving.
Though I do like to tease my friend because it seems to run in her family for them to have short courtships. Her g-ma married her g-pa 2 weeks after they met and they were happily married until his death.
So just because a time frame isnt long enough for one person doesnt mean that another will find it wrong. Though I do have to agree you wont know all that much about her after such a short time. Even my friend who is happily married said that there was still a lot of adjustments and surprises for them both after they got married.
Just so you know short courtships or fast moving relationships can have great outcomes just as long as one keeps a level head and realistic expections.
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Old 05-24-2004, 08:02 AM   #10
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Re: A little help please!

This is an interesting topic. The record short-time courtship I heard of was 3 days. Yes THREE days. When my friend's aunt was young, she went away on vacation to a beautiful seaside resort. She met a guy there and they really "clicked" and spent as much time together as possible. But she only had three days left before she had to fly home, which was very far away from where he lived. So at the end of the third day, he proposed. They are about 60 now and still happily married, with children and grandchildren. Unlikely? Yes, but it's true.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 10:14 AM   #11
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Re: A little help please!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Salinas1
Mrs. Thomas, welcome to the relationship boards. Haven't seen you here before. Seems like you have a pragmatic view of things. Look forward to your contributions. You will find a very eclectic group of regulars here.
Thanks!

I have been lurking on the boards for a while but recently signed up to actually post. ( I had my own situation I needed advice for.)

I have 42 yrs of life experiences to fall back on and if I can share them with others and it helps someone, its worth putting my 2cents worth in.

They dont have to take my advice but at least they can look at their situation from someone else's eyes.




MT

 
Old 05-24-2004, 10:19 AM   #12
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Re: A little help please!

Sorry I got so upset the other day but I went home last night and spoke with my future wife and we talked and things went great. I actually proposed 3 weeks into the relationship and things are great. I wasnt saying that our relationship went down the tube just saying that there were some things that bothered me and just wondered if it was normal. After talking with her last night I am more comfortable about it and no I dont expect to know her over night or even after a month but we are planning a long engagment mainly because we are still in college. However we are planning on moving in with one another sometime this summer. I have never been one to rush a relationship to this kinda level so its all new to me as well. We just really clicked and we talked about marrige and then we got engaged. So thanks for the comments and hope to hear more.

 
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