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Old 05-23-2004, 01:03 PM   #1
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Musical_Muse HB User
Long-Distance Relationship: Is It Possible?

I have been seeing this man for about three months now. We both love and care about eachother, and we enjoy being together.

A college graduate, I have been looking for a job in the local area, but I haven't been able to find a full-time position around here . As a result, I have been branching out in my job search to different cities in California. Recently, I recieved an invitation to take an employment test in a city that is about five hours from where we live. I took the employment test, did well, and I was invited to an interview soon after. As of right now, I have been to the interview, feel as though I did fairly well, and I will recieve notification of whether I have been hired in the mail within the next two weeks.

I'm really excited about this job possibility, as it will mean that I will have excellent job benefits, good pay, a chance for upward movement within the company, and I will be able to live in a fairly large city. The man that I'm seeing is also really happy for me, although he wishes that job was here in this city. He isn't about to stop me from going, but he is upset about the possibility of me leaving. He says that he will visit me every chance he gets, but he doesn't want to move to the city where I **might** be working. This second part feels sort of like his attempt to stop me, even if he has said that he won't try to stop me...

My questions for those of you with more experience in this department are: what are the chances of this relationship surviving if I do get hired with the company? Have your relationships survived changes like this? What can I do to ensure its survival? Any other advice for me?

Thanks in Advance ,
Colleen

Last edited by Musical_Muse; 05-23-2004 at 01:05 PM.

 
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Old 05-23-2004, 01:11 PM   #2
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leelandrover HB User
Re: Long-Distance Relationship: Is It Possible?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Musical_Muse
I have been seeing this man for about three months now. We both love and care about eachother, and we enjoy being together.

A college graduate, I have been looking for a job in the local area, but I haven't been able to find a full-time position around here . As a result, I have been branching out in my job search to different cities in California. Recently, I recieved an invitation to take an employment test in a city that is about five hours from where we live. I took the employment test, did well, and I was invited to an interview soon after. As of right now, I have been to the interview, feel as though I did fairly well, and I will recieve notification of whether I have been hired in the mail within the next two weeks.

I'm really excited about this job possibility, as it will mean that I will have excellent job benefits, good pay, a chance for upward movement within the company, and I will be able to live in a fairly large city. The man that I'm seeing is also really happy for me, although he wishes that job was here in this city. He isn't about to stop me from going, but he is upset about the possibility of me leaving. He says that he will visit me every chance he gets, but he doesn't want to move to the city where I **might** be working. This second part feels sort of like his attempt to stop me, even if he has said that he won't try to stop me...

My questions for those of you with more experience in this department are: what are the chances of this relationship surviving if I do get hired with the company? Have your relationships survived changes like this? What can I do to ensure its survival? Any other advice for me?

Thanks in Advance ,
Colleen
Hi,
Ive been where you are and have made it through.I moved away after my boyfriend and I had been together for about four months and I was gone for two.He as very supportive because he knew this was something that I had always wanted to do and he knew I couldnt miss out and then look back and wonder what if? Our situation is a little different because I was planning on coming back and he knew that but Ill give you the best advice I can.You need to think of it like this...5years down the road,your with him,in the same old city (if you chose to stay) and you always will wonder what if and you will regret not trying it out.What if hes not such a great guy and you pass up this job opportunity for someone you arent even too sure of? If you two were meant to be then you will find a way,I know thats hard to hear but tis true,you may just find some other great guy in your new city who has the same aspirations as you,ya never know! So just ask yourself...how will I feel a year down the road if I say no to this job? Love is important,its what makes the world go round but you gotta be sure that this guy is worth making sacrafices for and ask yourself if he would do the same for you.
I hope this helped you!


Good Luck,Keep us posted
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Old 05-23-2004, 04:13 PM   #3
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: Long-Distance Relationship: Is It Possible?

If you do end up getting the job, and he still does not want to entertain the thought of moving (even after you maybe move there alone for 6 months to make sure the job is a good fit), I would go ahead and assume that the "right" relationship is still out there for you...

 
Old 05-23-2004, 06:23 PM   #4
b.t b.t is offline
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b.t HB User
Re: Long-Distance Relationship: Is It Possible?

it is possible for some people and actually good for some people
but personally i can't take it because we are in different COUNTRY
didn't have a "stable" relationship before the Long-d
so didn't last very long..
and i'm the kind of person who needs attention..and someone beside me
and i like the feeling of being taken care of..
but then..for you..i think 5 hours away is not so bad~
you just need to get use to it...and have to trust him ALOT~
i think during long-d...females tends to think a lot more than males
and start being picky about the way he talks..and having doubts in his words~

 
Old 05-24-2004, 08:57 AM   #5
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Long-Distance Relationship: Is It Possible?

I have never been through this before but if you got the job then I am going to say that you should go. A job is somthing that can be great and set up for a career. If this guy isn't willing to move then he isn't willing to be part of your career. Which means go to California and get your life situated with a decent job and new guys.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 10:18 AM   #6
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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Musical_Muse HB User
Re: Long-Distance Relationship: Is It Possible?

Thank you for all of your wonderful responses! I appreciate your insights into this situation .

Yesterday, my guy and I were talking. We're both deep thinkers, so we tend to weigh things out quite a bit before making decisions. He has been thinking a lot about my potential move, and trying to figure out the best possible solution to this dilemma, as have I. We both don't want to step on the other's toes, so we've been really hesitant to make an actual decision. He will be pursuing his Master's degree in another year, and has set himself up to do this where we're currently living. I would like to pursue my Master's degree, too, but I'm a little less settled about where I want to do it/what I want to pursue it in (though, I think I have narrowed my areas of interest down to Psychology, Social Work or Journalism). He has a few more years of life experience on me, too, so this means that he is more set in his ways than I am.

Well, last night he told me that he really wants to be with me...even if that means moving to another city. He's certain that he can find a job in the area where I may potentially be moving to, and will be able to pursue his Master's there, too. I happen to agree strongly with this, as this city is much larger, has more to offer and, in this way, has more possibilities. Still, I know that he has connections in our current living area, and has made plans accordingly, so I'm feeling really hesitant about his decision to potentially move to another city, myself. I don't want him to find that things aren't quite as he expected, and then end up losing out on his goals and dreams. It's just a difficult decision to make...

Now that I have written a novel, I will conclude by saying that I think there are possibilities with this relationship, so he and I will do the best we can. If you have any more advice, I'm all ears .

Colleen

 
Old 05-24-2004, 10:43 AM   #7
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Long-Distance Relationship: Is It Possible?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Musical_Muse



Now that I have written a novel, I will conclude by saying that I think there are possibilities with this relationship, so he and I will do the best we can. If you have any more advice, I'm all ears .

Colleen
It does sound like there is a possibility with this relationship. It good to know that he is willing to go with you. You have a career move and somtimes you have to take that over a relationship. The favor is on your end because he is willing to go also.

 
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