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Old 05-24-2004, 02:41 AM   #1
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minded HB User
Unhappy Desperate Help! Please somebody - Confused About All Relationships!

Hi, im a 20 & just turned 20 on the 19th of Maye & my gf is also 20 going on to 21. Im a taurean & she is a scorpio. We have been together for 5 years now & i have a hard time expressing my feelings. This is going to be hard for me so please understand. Ever since we started going out, we both were very jealous people. We used to have terrible fights that she left me for another guy about 3 years back. We got back together & her x was in another town. She didnt tell him we going out coz she said he knows too much about our fights. Since he came home the last time, she left me saying that she does not know who to make happy. I was left heart broken. I phoned her back & we got back together a couple of months later. She still has not told him anything yet. She says that there is nothing there between them, i believer her. I dont know how to explain right now, i feel so empty that this letter is going in circle. I feel that i want to die. When ever we fight, i always put my mood right for her & made everything right. I tried really hard. She gets really irriated with me. On my birthday which we spent together, we went to the shop to buy some food & i was telling her how much i like an item but would not eat it coz there has some bad.... She suddenly got irritated & said that if i dont want it i should just leave it. But i always understand if she is confused about something, like clothing & shopping. When i make a mistake, she gets angry but when she does make a mistake she smiles about it. I am so scared of talking to her & i have no one else. I really luv her & cannot picture my life with out her. She wants to leave me coz she says that i complain too much but then i come right & show her that im happy. She tells me not to hide my feelings but when i tell her she gets angry. When i keep quiet, she gets ****** of. When i cry, she gets more angry & swears. When i ask politely, she gets angry. I am hoping that everything will turn out to be good. I cant hide my feelings anymore & act. I just want her to treat me nicely. Im afraid to ask coz she will say that i complain. I am born unlucky with emotional problems. She tells me i feel to sorry for myself, what am i suppose to do if i cant swear anyone, cant get angry & feel bad if i do. I never tell people no if they need something. I know you not suppose to change people but i really hope everything will change. I dont know if im immature or just plain stupid. I work really hard for our future, i am studing at the moment & im opening my own business. I am always willing to help & be there for her. I take her everywher she wants go, when i told her that she said i should not do it if i feel forced to. But its not that, i want her to know that i love her & will do anything for her. I just want some love in my life. I have a tough time with my family. All opposite people, Mum is a Sagitarius, Dad is Aries, Bro Is Piscies, Sis is Virgo. Sis is no longer here. Got no friends coz im always depressed. Nobody understands me. I dont like wasting my time, i like to work hard & do good in business. I like to build a good foundation for my family when i do have a family. For all these years, i have been hoping it would be a better person but im slowly losing hope & wanting to end my life. I just need somebody to understand me & just show me love. If i ask my gf, i will feel she is only doing it coz i asked. I luv my gf alot but she keeps on saying that we are not compatiable. She says that she gave up hope & sometimes when she is angry she will say that she gave up hope a long time ago. Sometimes whens she's really angry, she says she will go out with another guy just so i could finally leave her. When i hear that, i get hurt but come right so i can try to make our relationship better. Day after day i am getting worse. Problems & Problems, i know this is irritating & i should be thankful for what i have but this is not going anywhere. Every time i try to come right, it just hurts more. Someone might say that i should just leave the relationship but then my gf will say i dont care. She asks for time away from me, i say yes but then she would tell me i can manage without her & that i dont need her. I only stayed away coz she wanted some time. She wants a better relationship & i try really hard. She is a lovely person & has alot of friends. A ton of guys like her. She tells me that she is a hard person & she wil understand if i leave her. I luv her too much to leave, i cant live without her. I want her to be there in my future. She is bubbly & attractive. There is so much of **** in my head, i just wish i could die. this is all comming out wrong, i feel like there is a hole inside me. Can someone tell me what they thnk of me, i will understand if you swear me. If my GF knew about this letter, she would defnitely leave me for good, but am i suppose to do. I pray hard everyday that i could handle my emotions & make my relationship & life better.

Last edited by minded; 05-24-2004 at 03:32 AM. Reason: new title

 
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Old 05-24-2004, 07:04 AM   #2
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Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Wow, I am not sure how to help, other than to suggest that you go to counseling to help you deal with your feelings of insecurity. An astrological sign is by no means a way to judge if you are compatible or not, it seems like you are basing a lot on the incompatibility of the signs.

Maybe your gf would go to counseling with you.

You need to be able to express your feelings- it is not good to hold them in, talk with a counselor, minister, etc- there are a lot of free services available to help you as well.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 09:40 AM   #3
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minded HB User
Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Thank you Maak823

I will look into it about going to counseling. I have just spoken to my gf & she said that i expect too much & i should just be thankful for what i have. I think she is right. I think i am going to try to eliminate my feelings & try to not feel anything. If i do have these urges for love or any affection, i will try to fight them of. The best person or bf i could be is an understandind one. I know i have alot of love to give & im not going to expect anything in return. I am going to be a better person & not feel anything.

Thank you

In times of need - i will look to god to help & be strong.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 09:54 AM   #4
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Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Dear Minded,
I do not agree with your girlfriend, in fact- it now sounds as if she is controlling you in some way. It is not normal for a relationship to be one sided- you have to give in order to receive. It is not normal for anyone to not want to feel love or affection- everyone has the need to feel these emotions.

I think that maybe the love you have to give would be more appreciated if given to someone else.

I truly wish you the best of luck and hope that you will seek counseling on your own, even if your gf will not go with you.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 10:01 AM   #5
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minded HB User
Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Maak823

My gf does give me love, she worries about me, she is faithful to me. Its just she gets turned of quick or that i probably expect to much. I think im not strong emotionally, i feel to bad for other people & always willing to give. I cannot say no to people. I think i have to be more confident, strong & not rely on anybody. I hope i will achieve that since i tried before but failed. Its so hard being me.

Thank you for your help.. I will try really hard & hope for the best.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 11:02 AM   #6
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Quote:
Originally Posted by minded
Maak823

My gf does give me love, she worries about me, she is faithful to me. Its just she gets turned of quick or that i probably expect to much. I think im not strong emotionally, i feel to bad for other people & always willing to give. I cannot say no to people. I think i have to be more confident, strong & not rely on anybody. I hope i will achieve that since i tried before but failed. Its so hard being me.

Thank you for your help.. I will try really hard & hope for the best.
If you look at my past threads I was in the same position. Insecurities take a lot of time to overcome. It is a hard process but can be done. I don't know on what to offer other than what you allready stated about being more condifent. That is the biggest thing and once you overcome that part then you are home free.

Just be positive and give yourself will power and things should be fine. But don't give up.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 11:28 AM   #7
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minded HB User
Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Thank you Jeff

I hope i succeed in obtaining the Confidence i need. I have tried before but have failed. I know everyone must be thinking im mad or i complain to much.

I have not given up yet!

 
Old 05-24-2004, 11:48 AM   #8
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Quote:
Originally Posted by minded
Thank you Jeff

I hope i succeed in obtaining the Confidence i need.

I have not given up yet!

Like I said stay positive and don't give up. With you saying "I hope" is not being positive; you need to say "I will succeed".

 
Old 05-24-2004, 12:03 PM   #9
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Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Most Defn.. I am going to succeed!

Thanks

 
Old 05-24-2004, 12:07 PM   #10
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Re: Desperate Help! Please somebody

Quote:
Originally Posted by minded
Most Defn.. I am going to succeed!

Thanks
Thats the spirit

 
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