It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-24-2004, 01:49 PM   #1
Newbie
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: warrington cheshire
Posts: 3
didz666 HB User
its a long story but please help me.......

please help me!!!

i met this girl 5 years ago we dated then fell in love the usuall story my life was complete i wass happier than i had ever been. After a few years i relized that she had become very selfish in decisions she made she basically did what she wanted when she wanted with regards to me. It hurt me but i was really in love with her and worshipped her so i put up with it stupid i know but i couldn't imagine my life without her. Here are a few example:

-She would go out with her mates without telling me where she was ,
-i paid for her to go away for a week with her mates, when she returned she finished the relationship..
-she asked to have a baby we talked i agreed then she had it aborted without telling me..

there were not all at once was spread over about a year and a half, i know now i should have left then but couldn't because i loved her.

anyway we got a house together this december and she had always wanted a picture perfect house so i started to give her this when she walked out on me as she said i wasn't showing her enough afffection. I wass always tired from doing all the things she wanted in the house. the split lasted about 3 weeks the longest ever my heart was in peices the house was half finished she moved to her parents and i was left with memories of her all over this house as she had chosen the decor etc.

She contacted me a few days before valentines day my heart still in peices i asked her to come back we had numerous talks and she made promises that really lifted my spirit i felt human again untill she lied to me by saying we couldnt be together on valentines because she had made plans with her family and was away for the weekend but we would celebrate it the following week. I agreed..... She sent a lovely text message on valentines night to me so although i was upset i replied and thought everything was ok.....

Later that week i found out she never went away but was with another guy that night despite sending me a text saying she loved me and everything would be ok again i was devasted. We never spoke for 3 months then a letter came out of the blue saying she was sorry for every thing and she could prove she never cheated on me and i had blown every thing out of proportion. I ignored it but recieved another a few days later saying she wanted to talk i agreed we started going out again but i was still hurting inside i know i shouldn't have started it again but i did. We were together for a week i spent a fortune on her for her birthday and all the time she was still in touch with the guy in question trying to hide it though it tore me too peices and know i am very lonely my heart is in peices and i dont know what to do about it.......

Please help me out i cant find motavation to do anything my busines and my home are suffering because of it but i have lost the will to survive please help me..........................

Last edited by didz666; 05-24-2004 at 01:51 PM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-24-2004, 02:01 PM   #2
Inactive
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Western USA
Posts: 1,774
Ninispjc HB User
Re: its a long story but please help me.......

I guess my first question would be why don't you believe you deserve better than this awful woman? Why do you want to give so much power to someone who has been so awful to you? It sounds like the only mistake you made in the relationship is giving too much, though I know every story has two sides, but honestly, haven't you shed enough tears over this lying, thieving, selfish manipulator who begged you for a child then killed it? I'd love to know her explanation for that. I know it's hard to see now, but someday when the fog clears, you will see how much better off you are without this horrid woman in your life pulling your strings and tearing you up.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 02:07 PM   #3
Newbie
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: warrington cheshire
Posts: 3
didz666 HB User
Re: its a long story but please help me.......

i know but the three month split didnt help the way i felt and i now know in another 3 months i willl feel the same i just wish the pain inside me would stop

 
Old 05-24-2004, 02:25 PM   #4
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,639
eightball61 HB User
Re: its a long story but please help me.......

How old are you both?

It seems like she is young and doesn't know what she really wants. When she is with you she wants to have the family life but when she is with friends she is living or reliving the young free life.

To me, She has hurt & lied to you one to many times. She also has cheated. This tells you that she is not the right one. Your mind is saying yes but you have to fight it and realize its not.

Talk to her and see what she wants. If she continues these ways or what ever you need to take the right step and leave. You will have a hard time to deal with it but remember you did what was right and she won't be hurting you any longer and you can find a girl that won't hurt you.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 03:19 PM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,589
GirlHarley HB User
Re: its a long story but please help me.......

Quote:
Originally Posted by didz666
i know but the three month split didnt help the way i felt and i now know in another 3 months i willl feel the same i just wish the pain inside me would stop

OK, How do you know how your going to feel in 3 months? If you Finally get away from this Selfish, SelfCentered, Money grabbling, cheating woman, you may feel good...All that you know about her...All that she has done to you, lied, cheated, used you and You still can Say YOU LOVE HER? What exactly do you love about her? You may or may not meet A wonderful woman in two months or three months, you may finally Wake Up and smell the coffee on this so called girlfriend of yours and realize this relationship stinks and is one way. You are letting your heart rule your head and now it's time to have your Head rule your Heart....She killed your child, she cheated on you, she lied to you, she tooked money from you...OK, you allowed that one....

Stop saying "you should have" and start saying Have Done that...This is not a healthy relationship and if you haven't noticed...Love an't suspose to hurt.

 
Old 05-24-2004, 03:32 PM   #6
Newbie
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: warrington cheshire
Posts: 3
didz666 HB User
Re: its a long story but please help me.......

i know that all this advice is true and for the best but where do i begin to start...
thank you all for taking an interested and posting the replys

 
Old 05-24-2004, 03:37 PM   #7
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,639
eightball61 HB User
Re: its a long story but please help me.......

Quote:
Originally Posted by didz666
where do i begin to start...

You need to have a house drop on her (not literally) and start to follow the yellow brick road. On your journey you will meet a lot of new people but make your trip to the final destination and let the wizard tell you what best.

What I am saying is just leave now and play the ball field until you find the right one.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
My Crazy Story SilverSurfer NZ Anxiety 2 05-13-2010 04:35 AM
Uncertain about possible acute panic attack and anxiety -- Any input?(long) kerry4 Anxiety 4 10-13-2007 09:37 PM
A long story but real!! patty62 Thyroid Disorders 12 07-11-2007 09:47 AM
Alzheimer's and an Arrant Protein (What's the connection?) Sorry..Long gizmolove Alzheimer's Disease & Dementia 31 03-28-2007 12:57 PM
Hi everyone, I'm new. Long story to share worried30 Infertility 7 02-22-2007 08:02 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (272), rosequartz (255), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (97), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (904), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:13 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!