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Old 05-26-2004, 12:44 PM   #1
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salty HB Usersalty HB User
I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

My boyfriend of 8 months ended it today. I am dreading the withdrawal, all the crying, etc. that I went through with the boyfriend before this.

I personally think he may have ended it because he went back to hard drugs behind my back. His personality changed and he is irrational just like he was when he was using.

I WANT TO HAVE PATIENCE, BE CALM, NOT WORRY ABOUT IT, PRAY THAT HE'LL GET HELP, etc.

ANY ADVICE ON HOW I CAN DO THIS? HOW I CAN NOT BE SAD AND JUST GO ABOUT LIFE AS USUAL?

Are there any tricks?

Thank you,

Salty

 
Old 05-26-2004, 01:04 PM   #2
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eightball61 HB User
Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

Quote:
Originally Posted by salty
My boyfriend of 8 months ended it today. I am dreading the withdrawal, all the crying, etc. that I went through with the boyfriend before this.

I personally think he may have ended it because he went back to hard drugs behind my back. His personality changed and he is irrational just like he was when he was using.

I WANT TO HAVE PATIENCE, BE CALM, NOT WORRY ABOUT IT, PRAY THAT HE'LL GET HELP, etc.

ANY ADVICE ON HOW I CAN DO THIS? HOW I CAN NOT BE SAD AND JUST GO ABOUT LIFE AS USUAL?

Are there any tricks?

Thank you,

Salty

Hey salty

I am sorry to here about this and you are both in my preyers

Yes, he does need help but he won't be able to do it alone. He still needs your help and other around him that will be positive. Now you say you think he went back to the drung...hmmm.... thats just a though so you need to get the facts straight by talking to him....Hopefully he has nothing to hide.

Last edited by eightball61; 05-26-2004 at 01:36 PM.

 
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Old 05-26-2004, 01:18 PM   #3
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SophiaM HB User
Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

I'm sorry this happened to you. I wish I could give you some magic solution that would take all the pain away, but it simply doesn't exist. You WILL feel sad and you WILL feel the pain of the breakup. But you can make it a little more bearable if you tell yourself that it's for the best and that something good will come of it. This guy is a drug user. You were there for him and supported him emotionally, but he chose to get worse instead of getting better. He rejected your love and support, and is going back to destructive behavior. It is not your role to "save" him if he refuses to get help. Look, if you ended up with a guy who is a drug user, how would your life look 5, 10 years down the road? You'd be miserable beyond belief and maybe also have children who have a drug addict for a father. YOu would probably be the one having to work your a** off to support the family, you would have no help from him, and he might even be stealing money from you to support his drug habit. Not a very happy existance if you ask me. So, tell yourself you've just been spared years of misery and be thankful you're not married to the guy. You can pray for him, but ultimately he has to make a decision for himself to get better. You take care of your own life and your own goals. You'll be fine.

 
Old 05-26-2004, 01:20 PM   #4
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

Helpful hint -
Stop crying - it brings on wringles, bags under the eyes, and swollen red eyes.

Best revenge is looking good not bad.

As for the drugs - If he broke up with you because he went back to drugs.
He chose drugs over you and be thankful you don't have a boyfriend now who is a drug addict but an exboyfriend. You can't control what he puts into his body. To deal with an addict is mixed emotions, good day/ bad day, many ups and downs and mostly downs in a relationship.

He did you a favor...trust me.

 
Old 05-26-2004, 01:32 PM   #5
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fredrolin HB User
Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

8 months isn't that long....you will get over it.

He broke up with you...do you really want someone who doesn't want you?

 
Old 05-26-2004, 03:36 PM   #6
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Mayoya HB User
Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

Well,
Number one: If you feel like you wanna let the sadness out for a while, through crying, give urself sometime to grieve about it. Sadness and pain are a part of life we can't deny, i believe. it's okay to feel sad and cry...JUST DON'T OVERDO IT!

Next step:

1-get a new haircut! Believe me, as silly as this may sound, still it's a change that works miracles.
2-Start socializing--get into a new social circle, like a club, or through a course, somewhere with people who have the same interests u have. It will help a lot to find something new to keep your mind occupied.
3-Write your journal--writing is very therapeutic. It takes all your emotion out and keep you ready for more...plus, it will be good reminder in the future, when you are happy with a new life, work or even a new boyfriend, you will read and remember that sad times don't last forever.
4-Sports--Don't get mad, get fit! There is nothing like feeling these post-exercising feel-good enzymes running through your body.
5-Help other people in need--getting in contact with other people's problems open up your mind to all the hard times other people are facing in life. You feel like u r not alone in this. Plus, helping people will always make you feel good about yourself, even if it is something simple as giving an advice. Not to mention Karma...
6-Meditate--just disconnecting from this crazy world for 15 minutes each day will leave you with a lot of peace inside you.
7-SMILE it will always reflect back on u.

Last edited by Mayoya; 05-26-2004 at 03:40 PM.

 
Old 05-26-2004, 03:48 PM   #7
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Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

Thank you very much Mayoya. I appreciate you writing and I will try your tips.

Salty

 
Old 05-27-2004, 07:15 AM   #8
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Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

My advice: time. For me Time and patience with myself is what got me through. He went back to hard drugs, huh? I'm surprised he broke it off instead of you. What kind of life would you have being in a relationship with a drug user? You deserve better for yourself and your future. Just because we love someone does not mean we are supposed to be with them. It does not mean they are good for us. Take some time to figure out what you want from a partner. You can pray for his recovery, but this is his problem, not yours. You said you have been through a hard break up before. You survived. No its not easy and yes it is painful. But unfortunately, we all go through this from time to time. Take it one day at a time and make sure you take care of yourself.

 
Old 06-19-2004, 01:41 PM   #9
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Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

Elatedgiraffe, thank you for your response. I just got it believe it or not. Wise words---thanks again!

Salty


Quote:
Originally Posted by elatedgiraffe
My advice: time. For me Time and patience with myself is what got me through. He went back to hard drugs, huh? I'm surprised he broke it off instead of you. What kind of life would you have being in a relationship with a drug user? You deserve better for yourself and your future. Just because we love someone does not mean we are supposed to be with them. It does not mean they are good for us. Take some time to figure out what you want from a partner. You can pray for his recovery, but this is his problem, not yours. You said you have been through a hard break up before. You survived. No its not easy and yes it is painful. But unfortunately, we all go through this from time to time. Take it one day at a time and make sure you take care of yourself.

 
Old 06-19-2004, 02:06 PM   #10
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Asleep HB User
Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

Only time will help. I remember some mathematical formula like it takes half the time of the relationship to get over it.

Best thing to do is keep busy. Keep your mind and your body occupied. Every once and a while you'll have a good cry. But it will get better.

Good luck.

 
Old 06-19-2004, 06:02 PM   #11
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silverangel220 HB User
Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

I understand what you are going through, i am now in a rocky relationship and my boyfriend is a drug addict. i was reading some of your replies and they fit into my life as well. the hard thing is no matter how many people tell you that you can't "Save" this person, you still feel that if you are there or around you have some power to "protect" them. the thing is the only person you can save or protect is yourself. I believe everything happens for a reason, and maybe he will realize that you not being around wasn't for the best and things will change, but the best thing to do is surround yourself with POSITIVE people and just start taking care of you. 8 months might not be a long time but you are still hurt and obviously you're going to need some time to heal. the best advice i can give you is to try to see the positive out of this whole situation and just give it time, remember Time heals all pain things will get better...and good luck with everything!!

 
Old 06-19-2004, 08:17 PM   #12
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Re: I Need Some Quick Advice Again Please

Thank you, SilverAngel!

Salty

 
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