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Old 05-27-2004, 04:17 AM   #1
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manchestermale HB User
My gf has changed

My gf and I have been togeather for 31 months. The relationship has been perfect from the first day until January of this year. From January I only seen my gf once or twice a week - usualy we would meet 5 to 7 days a week. From Jan of this year to April when she never use to meet she would giver her reasons e.g. I have to visit a relative or my mum this that and other etc. Was only in May she told me she lied about all the reasons she didnt meet me and that she wanted her own space. The thing is we have always had a honest relationship so why would she suddenly lie? Just before new year she said should we have a month apart as she said we would appreciate each other more and that she needed space I did agree then she said no. Anyway she said she would change but she constantly lies and its obvious when she is lieing. Anyway last week she said she is finishing work at 12.30 (she is in a 9-5 job). She said her and her brother and mum are visitng her cousin who is in hospital. Anyway that say day I went to town to buy a new sim card for my fone and i was waiting at the bus stop near her work and I saw jher leaving work. The time was 5 and she
said she finished work at 12.30. I texted her to test her and see what she would say I texted her are you at your cousins she replied yes am just leaving to go home. I replied would you like to meet as I am in town she said she wouldnt make it in time I thought odd your cousin lives 10 minutes away on bus and there is a bus every ten minutes. I followed her and eventualy confronted her I lost my rag and did shout all the frustration of the previosu 5 months had got to me the amount of times I stood by her and listened to her promises of how she would change. Anyway this was last week I am back with her and she blames me can you believe it. She lied about work and blamed me and accused her of following her and said when I caught her why did I shout at her as I have never shouted at her before. What should I do now should I give it one lasy chance e.g. making this her last chance? I have have already giver her loads!

 
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Old 05-27-2004, 07:05 AM   #2
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elatedgiraffe HB User
Re: My gf has changed

She obviously needs her space so you need to give it to her. She may have lied because she knew you wouldn't understand that she needs time for herself. I suggest that if you want to be with her in the long run your best bet in acheiving is to give her space. Start engaging in things you enjoy, go out with your friends more, etc. The worst thing you can do is to yell at her and follow her. That will only chase her away. If her weird behavior is too much for you to handle then break it off for awhile and take care of you. Good luck

 
Old 05-27-2004, 08:33 AM   #3
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eightball61 HB User
Re: My gf has changed

Quote:
Originally Posted by manchestermale
What should I do now should I give it one lasy chance e.g. making this her last chance? I have have already giver her loads!

I wouldn't give her no chances. She has had all the chances. She is constanly lieing to you. Do you want that in a relationship or even marriage? I think not....

It time to give her space so she can really see what she wants. Right now she wants a relationship but in a way doesn't. Let her re-discover herself and let her prove herself before you take her back and thats if you do.

Last edited by eightball61; 05-27-2004 at 09:37 AM.

 
Old 05-27-2004, 09:33 AM   #4
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CoreyP HB User
Re: My gf has changed

I agree with Jeffrey. She does need her space, but lying to you is not the way to do it, Now how are you ever going to know when she is telling the truth. When my ex and I were at the end, she would get off the phone with me late, "her aunt was on the other line". That damn aunt started calling all the time. Of course it wasn't the aunt. She had met someone else. Think this sounds familiar. I think you should give her a lot of space, but she deserved to get yelled at. Luck to you.

 
Old 05-27-2004, 09:38 AM   #5
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eightball61 HB User
Re: My gf has changed

Quote:
Originally Posted by CoreyP
I agree with Jeffrey. .

Jeffery?

Only my mom calls me that when I am trouble...lol Its all good though.

 
Old 05-27-2004, 11:11 AM   #6
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Jenetti HB User
Re: My gf has changed

ohhhh, ever watch the show "cheaters" on tv?? the guilty party ALWAYS gets mad at the innocent spouse/partner and always tries to lay a guilt trip such as I CANT BELIEVE YOUD BRING ALL THESE PEOPLE TO FOLLOW ME, HOW COULD YOU DO THIS, THIS IS NOT TRUST, (thats a funny one there lol) HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!! The spouse/partner always ends up saying well if you didnt/hadnt lied to me and would have told me you were seeing someone else i wouldnt have had to have you followed. Just find it funny and irritating that the cheater ALWAYS ends up looking shocked and insulted that they werent "trusted" even when caught in the ACT.

 
Old 05-27-2004, 11:15 AM   #7
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excaliburgrl HB User
Re: My gf has changed

yeah, it's easier to blame somebody else than to blame yourself...i think she definitely needs some space...

jeff-that's humorous...the only time i call my hubby laurence is when i'm really mad at him...he hates that name...for the first 3 months we were together i thought his real name was lance and not just a nickname...
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Old 05-28-2004, 02:35 AM   #8
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manchestermale HB User
Re: My gf has changed

The thing is before she started lieing she started hanging around with some girl and it was when she started hanging out with her she started lieing so much the other thing is when she wanted a break she said a month apart I agreed then she said no and then I never even saw her for 3 months so she had 3 months of space and she still lies to me last year she texted me saying her mum had fainted and had to go hospital and that she would phone me when she gets home at 12.30 at night when I was thinking that was odd how can she say spot on she would be home from a hospital at 12.30 I foned her mobile she kept rejecting my call saying she is waiting for a call from the doctor I thought this is odd she said she gone hospital and the doctor always fones your house fone I foned her house guess who answered her mum I asked where she was she said she went out to town I texted my gf she admitted she was in town now this happened about 2 months before she changed but even then I took her back so am I imagining things?

 
Old 05-28-2004, 07:02 AM   #9
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eightball61 HB User
Re: My gf has changed

Your not imagining anything..People change very rapidly without any signs. Its not your fault for her change. She saw a life that she wanted and she had to create lies to have it. At the same time she wanted your life but now that she is on her own then she can get on and expierence that life she wanted.

 
Old 05-28-2004, 07:12 AM   #10
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Salinas1 HB User
Re: My gf has changed

Quote:
Originally Posted by manchestermale
...should I give it one last chance e.g. making this her last chance?
NO!


Quote:
Originally Posted by manchestermale
...should I give it one last chance e.g. making this her last chance?
NO!


Quote:
Originally Posted by manchestermale
...should I give it one last chance e.g. making this her last chance?
NO!





Do you sense a pattern here....you said it already, you have given her chances. Duck out while you are only marginally invested. The longer you wait the more agravation you will endure. This is beyond "needng some space".

Last edited by Salinas1; 05-28-2004 at 07:13 AM.

 
Old 05-28-2004, 07:24 AM   #11
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: My gf has changed

This girl is not an Honest Girl and can't even get her stories straight with you.

She wants space - she doesn't want space
She leads you on - makes up stories for you to believe
You catch her in her lie and blames YOU as if you are the one who lied.
All you want from her is a straight answer -
Does she want to be with you or not. Period.

NOW, ask yourself - what chance to you want to give her? More lies?
She used a cousin story, she used her own mother as a cover up for not seeing you..More more lies do you need to hear from her before you come to your own conclusion that this girl is dogding you - she's keeping you around till she meets someone else - Do you want to hang around till this happens?

 
Old 05-28-2004, 08:09 AM   #12
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caregiver HB User
Re: My gf has changed

Not only is she a liar and not deserve you, I also would be very surprised if she is NOT cheating on you. She is giving all the signs of an unfaithful partner. RUN Run quickly and run in the opposite direction of where she is! Would you really want a future with someone like this? I don't think so.


Take care

 
Old 06-01-2004, 02:54 AM   #13
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manchestermale HB User
Re: My gf has changed

she is threatening to top herself if i leaver her

 
Old 06-01-2004, 05:22 AM   #14
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Salinas1 HB User
Re: My gf has changed

Quote:
Originally Posted by manchestermale
she is threatening to top herself if i leaver her
You have no responsibility to this. None at all. Staying with her will not resolve a much bigger problem she faces. You are not her savior and she has no right to assign any responsiblility to you for her own decisions.

Does this look like a healthy, loving, supportive, long term relationship to you?

 
Old 06-01-2004, 05:22 AM   #15
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: My gf has changed

Quote:
Originally Posted by manchestermale
she is threatening to top herself if i leaver her
What does that mean? (don't know if I'm just tired from this weekend or too stupid this morning?)

 
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