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Old 05-27-2004, 06:40 PM   #1
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realguy HB User
Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

I seen this ? on another post.Thought it could use its own thread because it"s such a hot issue.
It"s safe to say that everyone starts out being the nice guy or the girl next door.Most people try to hide their past and not show to many sides of themselves.Also when you first start dating ,you haven"t seen the other person in various settings that can bring different emotions out.
One solution is to wait and see these reactions to the various situations
that life can put a person in.The typical three date and let"s have sex routine
doesn"t allow time for a relationship to develope.
So many women i"ve dated,just trust me on just about every issue and don"t care to find out more than the "basics" about me.They already had the wedding gown picked out in the first couple of weeks.
What"s the rush:1)your friends are getting married 2)your just out of a relationship and are afraid to be alone 3)you live your life thru a relationship
4)you have low self-esteem and you like anyone who likes you because you don"t think your good enough to get what you really want.
IT's easy to be a "nice " guy ,when your in a rush, you can overlook the warning signs people can send you.

 
Old 05-27-2004, 07:02 PM   #2
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ambernoel HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Hey
I think its a smart move to be defensive first and nice after the person as won your trust. Men as we all well know are nice for one reason (sorry guys)
And women I think are a bit clingy for the most part. I believe that society had placed us in these roles (men permentaly searching for sex and women wanting something substantial) And it isn't very often you find the oppisite of the standard. So I think we should strive to find a happy median men raise the bar and not go running the second your women mentions your future children and women have some pride men are not here on earth to fulfill you .Learn to only depend on yourself for happiness whatever sex you are because only you can make you happy.. I don't believe in sacrifising pride just to have someone on my arm...

 
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Old 05-27-2004, 07:53 PM   #3
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Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

I think any guy who has to advertise his "niceness" is trying to overcompensate for lack of something else. There's a legion of guys out there who don't take care of their appearance, aren't in good shape, have the personality and wit of a doorstop, and think they can overcome all of that by being the biggest, wussiest nicest doormat in the world. And they lose every time.

These are the same guys who complain all the time about how jerks always get the girl. Truth is, the person who said they're being nice for one reason hit the nail on the head. Rather than working on any other aspect of themselves that could truly attract a woman on a more primal, sexual level, they try to rely on being "nice" and predictable in order to distinguish themselves. But make no mistake, just like the "jerks," they hope to be rewarded for their behavior. They're not better people, just taking a different approach, and one that is destined to fail. I should know, because I took that approach for too long before some good friends opened my eyes to how things really work. And the more I looked around me, the more I saw they were right.

For the guys out there, my advice would be to exercise, keep yourself well groomed, work on your confidence and play up your wit ... all of these will bring you more success than being a doormat who returns every phone call from a woman within 5 minutes or sends flowers whenever she's down. Ladies, look for a guy who shows you respect, but if he's acting like he wants to be nominated for some kind of humanitarian award, be very, very suspicious.

Last edited by stolie; 05-27-2004 at 07:54 PM.

 
Old 05-28-2004, 05:44 AM   #4
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Well I mentioned it in the other post.

Men seem to think woman always want the bad guy type and whine that they don't want Nice Guys. I was having a "moment" and decided to bring it up because in a heated conversation with my boyfriend - he mentioned well he was a Nice Guy and I chuckled....Well Of course he's a nice guy - anyone can be nice. BUT....How about a Honest GUY?

I have dated my share of Bad Boys and Nice Boys and honestly -
My boyfriend is a "bad boy" but you must also define what a bad boy.

Men who abuse woman physically or mentally, who are or think they are in control of a woman are not bad boys - they are Bullies.

Men who go around showing how tough they are are not bad boys but bullies too and obnoxious to society.

Then of course you have your liars and cheaters – they are not bad boys they are men who have low self esteem of themselves and need their ego fed on a regular basis.

These men all have one thing in common - They are Liars to woman and themselves, problem is...They start out as the Nice Guy, lure you in and woman get hooked. It's getting out of these types of relationships that some find hard - because of the lies that turned into love.

Don't get angry at woman for this - WE are nice girls too - that's why Nice girls fall for this and Smart woman don't. BUT...Men don't want Smart Girls, they want Naive girls - but Woman eventually find out and This is where the battle begins to get away from the liars.

 
Old 05-28-2004, 08:25 AM   #5
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Guys lie about this because so many women out there have figured out the old ways when they would suck you in. In todays world most women are looking for a good guy instead if that bad guy.

The male now knows how to get his target and wheel it in....Pretend to be somthing he is not. This is sad but it has worked so successfully and still working.

This may be somthing that will continue happening for a long time because its hard to tell if you good guy is a real good guy until you get to know him. Girls may eventually smarten up and figure out a way to beat there thoughts.

My recommendation for the ladies is buy a lie detector test if you can afford it and give to a guy after a month being with them. That is the best way to get your real answer

Continued

 
Old 05-28-2004, 11:01 AM   #6
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Hoop HB UserHoop HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
My recommendation for the ladies is buy a lie detector test if you can afford it and give to a guy after a month being with them. That is the best way to get your real answer

Continued
There actually are affortable lie detector units on the market today. One is called "The Truster" and works by analyzing voice patterns. It came out on 60 minutes many years ago. It is not 100% realiable but is surprisingly very good according to the program. There are portable units as well. I believe they are small enough to conceal and record your conversations. Then take the recorder and later analyze the conversation. There is another aftermarket product that is an offshoot to the truster I believe, called the "Love Detector". Works similar to the truster.

I dont have either one and I don't know much more than that about them, but they would be very interesting to use. If I recall the program on TV from way back, you can actually record a phone conversations and analyze it on the fly.

"Honey do you love me?"

"Yes, baby, I do!" beep

"I mean, do you really, really love me!"

"OH Yes!" With all my heart!" BEEP!, BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

(your lying piece of #*@*!)

Last edited by Hoop; 05-28-2004 at 11:02 AM.

 
Old 05-28-2004, 12:16 PM   #7
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Hoop~ I want to buy one of those..lol

I didn't realize that they actually sold them on the market due to the strict laws about them. This would be a great thing to have which will limit a lot of BS from the guy. Girls are to in the same boat and it wouldn't be a bad idea for a guy to have this.

Guys are smarter than some think and they will keep finding ways to beat the system. Another words guy may just beat this but will be hard.

So "LADIES" its time to save those pennies and buy one

 
Old 05-28-2004, 12:35 PM   #8
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SophiaM HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoop
There is another aftermarket product that is an offshoot to the truster I believe, called the "Love Detector". Works similar to the truster.

I dont have either one and I don't know much more than that about them, but they would be very interesting to use. If I recall the program on TV from way back, you can actually record a phone conversations and analyze it on the fly.

"Honey do you love me?"

"Yes, baby, I do!" beep

"I mean, do you really, really love me!"

"OH Yes!" With all my heart!" BEEP!, BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

(your lying piece of #*@*!)
Haaaaaa-----haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa---haaaaaaaaaaaaaa---heeeeee---heeeeeeeee

Ok, that was a REALLY good one. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend Everyone! I'm off to look for a lie/love detector products on sale!

 
Old 05-28-2004, 01:08 PM   #9
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by SophiaM
Haaaaaa-----haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa---haaaaaaaaaaaaaa---heeeeee---heeeeeeeee

Ok, that was a REALLY good one. Have a great Memorial Day Weekend Everyone! I'm off to look for a lie/love detector products on sale!

You have a good weekend to and let me know where you buy one

 
Old 05-28-2004, 01:28 PM   #10
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Well I'm one of those SMART WOMAN who Nice Men don't like.

I used to be a stupid girl so I have learned - the Hard Way.

I won't waste my good earned money on a lie dector test because I much rather buy clothes & shoes.

What you see is what you get - I can be nice and I can be a *****
I don't need to lie because I have nothing to prove but the good person that I am.
Treat me nice and I'll be nice back, treat me bad and you will never see another day or another woman - as I will be that ***** you hate.

Have a great, safe, loving weekend. See you back on the boards on Tuesday
and can you believe it's already JUNE! POOL will be open....

 
Old 05-28-2004, 01:38 PM   #11
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlHarley

What you see is what you get ....


I love you your way of think and thats how it should be. You should have to change a lot just for a person I believe. That why if you dont like me well show me contestant # 2.

 
Old 05-28-2004, 01:46 PM   #12
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
I love you your way of think and thats how it should be. You should have to change a lot just for a person I believe. That why if you dont like me well show me contestant # 2.
YEAH, and in my case - they go with contestant #2.

 
Old 05-28-2004, 02:02 PM   #13
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Why do men pretend to be "nice" guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlHarley
YEAH, and in my case - they go with contestant #2.

Well this is my first love at 22 and I dated many before her but its all because these contestants just failed like American Idol. "

"If you can't except me for me then go find someone else because I will only be vacent for so long"

My friend used to say that a lot....lol I dig it

Last edited by eightball61; 05-28-2004 at 02:02 PM.

 
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