I don't think anyone should feel they need to be this submissive and afraid of their partner for whatever reason.
It definately isn't wrong to ask your husband to help clean up, even if he has been working all day and started drinking. And you shouldn't be afraid to wake him up by making a bit of noise.
In any relationship you should feel comfortable, safe and loved no matter what. If you aren't then it is not a healthy relationship and you shoudn't stick around. It is only causing you damage.