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Old 06-01-2004, 08:11 PM   #1
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soulster HB User
mother getting on my nerves!

Hi everyone,

Well, I just got married about 2 months ago. I feel really upset right now and dont know if I should. I have been having a really bad stomach these days... to be a bit graphic, i had a bout of dirarehea today... like 4 timesi n the morning... my brother is a doc so he prescibed antibiotics. My husband is not here right now- he is out of town for business.... anyhow my mom says not to tell him that you were sick when he gets back... I asked why... she says becuase you dont want him thinking you are a weak person and that you have no stamina... I found that to be so rude... was it or am I just paranoid.. infact I just cant stand it when my mom says stuff like this... dont say this to him... he will think this and he will think that... I feel like they are treating him like he is the women and I am the man and I am suppose to woe him and treat him like a king- like he is the better catch and I am suppose to be so careful what I do say to him otherwise he might not like me. I am so sick of it-

Last edited by soulster; 06-01-2004 at 08:17 PM.

 
Old 06-01-2004, 08:20 PM   #2
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: mother getting on my nerves!

This one is simple - listen to your mom - and then do whatever you think is best.
In fact, it is HER you may not want to mention your ailments to...
Antibiotics always caused diarrhea for me by the way. You may have something totally different - Irritable bowel syndrome for example (caused by stress - hmmmm)

 
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Old 06-01-2004, 10:42 PM   #3
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soulster HB User
Re: mother getting on my nerves!

Hey ruth,

Thanks... I am okay now... it was just the initial reaction.... just wish my mom would cool it in that department a bit... hopefully this is just a transient thing with her... I cant imagine having to listen to this after 20 years of being married to him... I can just imagine it LOL

 
Old 06-02-2004, 04:23 AM   #4
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: mother getting on my nerves!

First, congratulations on your marriage.

I see nothing wrong with telling your husband when he gets back from the trip and asks how you been while he was away and you mention you had a bit of the stomach flu.

That is not weak and I agree limit what you tell your mother or she will dictate on your marriage life. Your husband is your partner and if you canít share your life with him on how you feel or what your thinking what is the purpose of marriage?

Your mom may be old fashion but tell her you are now a grown woman and you will decide what you tell YOUR Husband.

 
Old 06-02-2004, 06:08 AM   #5
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: mother getting on my nerves!

What I gathered from your post is that she meant not to whine or hehe, forgive me...."belly ache".... about being sick while he was gone. What I think she was trying to tell you was not to make it out that you just can't stand it when he goes away for business and that you were just oh so upset that he was gone you ended up physically ill. If that is the case, she is right....it makes you sound needy, clingy, and dependant and makes him feel guilty for going out of town for business...which is something he will have to do inevitably. I see no problem in mentioning it, but I wouldn't make it a huge deal. That's all.

 
Old 06-02-2004, 08:32 AM   #6
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eightball61 HB User
Re: mother getting on my nerves!

Your mom is a mom and she will always tell you whats best but you make the last decision from there. If you want to tell your husband that is up to you but I can't see why not.

You mom will always tell you whats right and whats wrong because you are her daughter. You are now old enough and married where you can make your own decisions but she will always voice her opinions.

 
Old 06-02-2004, 08:35 AM   #7
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Salinas1 HB User
Re: mother getting on my nerves!

I have no idea what her motive was for her advice to you. She may have a weird insecurity of her own or she may know something about you that we don't know which may make her advice appropriate.

No matter, you are free to offer anything you wish to whomever you wish. You may want to consider any reason you do share what you share. Is it relevant for your husband to know this, days after the fact? Maybe it is. Maybe it is just small talk. How about limiting what you say to your mother that has her commenting back in ways you don't like. That would end your having to listen to it. Being sick is not a sign of weakness. Sharing with your husband that you had diarrhea for a couple of days in his absence may or may not be a thing he is interested in hearing.

In the end, only you would know that. And only you can decide what to and what not to say to your mother that may cause you to wish you hadn't.

 
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