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Old 06-06-2004, 10:38 PM   #1
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soulster HB User
TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Hey Fred,

Just wondering what happened to you and your decisions concerning your wife and marriage? Let us know, I am sure there are mmany that are wondering about you.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 05:23 AM   #2
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fredrolin HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

nothing is happening.

I am doing what I have been doing for many years; just living with the problems.
Things have sort of calmed down a little. The wife and I actually had sex Friday night, and if was pretty good for a change.
I am still sick and tired of her deadbeat 23 year old son freeloading off of us. All weekend I just avoided him, I figure everyday that goes by is one step closer to the day he moves out....if that day ever happens.

I think I am going to hang in there awhile and make my marriage work. I know I said earlier that I was thinking about seperation, but I am not a quitter.
There isn't anything better out there. My marriage sucks but being alone and divorced is worse.
I am 40 years old. I am not going to meet some single young woman that wants me, I have nothing exciting to offer. I would probably end up dating women in there 30's and 40's who have a boat load of there own problems...who needs that.
If by remote chance I meet someone while I am married and fall in love then I will seriously consider leaving my wife. But the odds of that happening are slim, I really don't pursue women.
I will just keep busy, work everyday, raise my daughter and ride it out. Who cares anymore. Life sucks no matter what I choose to do.

 
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Old 06-07-2004, 08:16 AM   #3
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eightball61 HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fredrolin

I think I am going to hang in there awhile and make my marriage work. I know I said earlier that I was thinking about seperation, but I am not a quitter.
There isn't anything better out there.
This isn't a bad decision to try to make things work. Remember though if things don't fall through just don't hold on and continue not to be happy. You are better off singal than be in a relationship that you are not happy in. I am cheering it to work for you but don't hold onto something because you are thinking negativley that there is nothing else out there for you.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 08:23 AM   #4
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fredrolin
nothing is happening.

I am doing what I have been doing for many years; just living with the problems.
Things have sort of calmed down a little. The wife and I actually had sex Friday night, and if was pretty good for a change.
I am still sick and tired of her deadbeat 23 year old son freeloading off of us. All weekend I just avoided him, I figure everyday that goes by is one step closer to the day he moves out....if that day ever happens.

I think I am going to hang in there awhile and make my marriage work. I know I said earlier that I was thinking about seperation, but I am not a quitter.
There isn't anything better out there. My marriage sucks but being alone and divorced is worse.
I am 40 years old. I am not going to meet some single young woman that wants me, I have nothing exciting to offer. I would probably end up dating women in there 30's and 40's who have a boat load of there own problems...who needs that.
If by remote chance I meet someone while I am married and fall in love then I will seriously consider leaving my wife. But the odds of that happening are slim, I really don't pursue women.
I will just keep busy, work everyday, raise my daughter and ride it out. Who cares anymore. Life sucks no matter what I choose to do.
Sorry Fred - with a negative attitude and self pity your right....You will NEVER meet a Nice 40+ woman. That's just too bad that you are thinking so narrow-minded. I actually dated a guy like you, his wife treated him so bad, turned his daughter against him, he had no self-worth, he too had nothing to offer because all he did was complain about his ex-wife and how miserable he was - That is not something a Single girl on a date wants to hear. I gave him a few more dates in hopes that he could see the different world out there but he was so self absorbed in his self pity life that I finally had to tell him off after I patiently listened to his life issues.... A year later...I ran into him and he gave me a Big Smile w/a Big Hug and thanked me for telling him off and the wake up call that life wasn't so bad after all. HE was seeing this really nice attractive woman and they both looked so happy.
I was Happy for him. The last I heard, he married the girl and they have a child.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 10:12 AM   #5
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fredrolin HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

I am just being realistic.

What are the odds of me meeting a 40ish woman without any "excess baggage"?
Most 40 year old women that have never been married and have no kids are mentally unstable, that's why they are 40 and single.
Same with men. I know guys over 40 still living with there parents.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 10:22 AM   #6
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eightball61 HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fredrolin
I am just being realistic.

What are the odds of me meeting a 40ish woman without any "excess baggage"?
Most 40 year old women that have never been married and have no kids are mentally unstable, that's why they are 40 and single.
Same with men. I know guys over 40 still living with there parents.

Why does she have to have baggage? You have yours. You have been married and have a child. Why can't you start a new life with that someone else and she could include her child and you can include yours.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 10:36 AM   #7
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fredrolin HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

I DON'T want a woman with excess baggage/problems.

The only baggage I have is my daughter; I have no debt problems, angry wifes, etc.

I think it is best to play the hand that was dealt to me......

 
Old 06-07-2004, 10:42 AM   #8
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eightball61 HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fredrolin
I DON'T want a woman with excess baggage/problems.

The only baggage I have is my daughter; I have no debt problems, angry wifes, etc.

I think it is best to play the hand that was dealt to me......
How do YOU know that that they will be an angry ex wife? This is the science of dating " To figure and get to knwo the other person." You are saying you don't have problems right now but you are in a relationship where you are not happy.

These girls that have the excess baggage over 40 has gone through the same hardships of a marriage as you...Some worse & some not. But they are human and they are looking to be happy again and they will look for a man with a positive attitude to do it. The way you thinking is you won't meet any one because you can't handle the baggage.

Life isn't made to be easy but its fun when you are happy. Right now you are not happy...So where does that lead???

 
Old 06-07-2004, 11:08 AM   #9
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fredrolin
I am just being realistic.

What are the odds of me meeting a 40ish woman without any "excess baggage"?
Most 40 year old women that have never been married and have no kids are mentally unstable, that's why they are 40 and single.
Same with men. I know guys over 40 still living with there parents.
OMG - where do you live? I know wonderful woman and men in their forties who do not have "excess" baggage.....So, I'm 42 with a 15yr old boy - make a decent living, pay all my bills, love life and live it to the fullest, can't stand phonies or negative people - What does that Make ME?

 
Old 06-07-2004, 11:11 AM   #10
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Salinas1 HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fredrolin
I think it is best to play the hand that was dealt to me......
This is a subtle, but very imporant distinction. You had no hand dealt to you. You dealt your cards, face up, to yourself.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 11:11 AM   #11
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eightball61 HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlHarley
OMG - where do you live? I know wonderful woman and men in their forties who do not have "excess" baggage.....So, I'm 42 with a 15yr old boy - make a decent living, pay all my bills, love life and live it to the fullest, can't stand phonies or negative people - What does that Make ME?
You have a BF though...lol Sorry couldn't resist GH.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 11:15 AM   #12
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Salinas1
This is a subtle, but very imporant distinction. You had no hand dealt to you. You dealt your cards, face up, to yourself.
Nice response.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 11:17 AM   #13
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
You have a BF though...lol Sorry couldn't resist GH.

I know. but, I do have wonderful girlfriends who are 40 or over, single, own their own homes have a child. I would not set them up with Fred.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 11:27 AM   #14
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eightball61 HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlHarley
I know. but, I do have wonderful girlfriends who are 40 or over, single, own their own homes have a child. I would not set them up with Fred.

You have to love the North East though. We are nothing but friendly loving people here

Last edited by eightball61; 06-07-2004 at 11:27 AM.

 
Old 06-07-2004, 11:35 AM   #15
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GirlHarley HB User
Re: TO FREDROLIN, what's up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
You have to love the North East though. We are nothing but friendly loving people here
THAT's RIGHT! I was born in S.Jersey and moved to New England when I was 16 - I hated it at frist but after being here for over 20years - I love it here and Our Attitudes - we are right up there with New Yorkers!

 
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