It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-09-2004, 09:53 AM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: new york city
Posts: 81
junalo HB User
Unorthodox question but...

When my girlfriends mentions anything about her past, it annoys me, I get jealous and angry, I know these are signs of immaturity but I just can't help it. I don't know how many people she has been with but my guess would be around 5 or 6 including me at the most, since she has 3 kids from 3 of these guys. I know it's stupid cause I have been with more girls than she has been with guys but I just get jealous and then annoyed at her and don't treat her right until I feel better. She is a good woman, wonderful person, the best woman I have ever been with. I was just wondering, since I am a wondering person, how many partners have you gals or guys had? I've been with 23 females as far as I can remember or want to remember lol!
__________________
Junalo

 
Old 06-09-2004, 10:34 AM   #2
Inactive
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Western USA
Posts: 1,774
Ninispjc HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by junalo
When my girlfriends mentions anything about her past, it annoys me, I get jealous and angry, I know these are signs of immaturity but I just can't help it. I don't know how many people she has been with but my guess would be around 5 or 6 including me at the most, since she has 3 kids from 3 of these guys. I know it's stupid cause I have been with more girls than she has been with guys but I just get jealous and then annoyed at her and don't treat her right until I feel better. She is a good woman, wonderful person, the best woman I have ever been with. I was just wondering, since I am a wondering person, how many partners have you gals or guys had? I've been with 23 females as far as I can remember or want to remember lol!

I don't think there's any "standard" these days as to how much is enough and how much is too many ex lovers in one lifetime. I think you just need to ask yourself why you get so upset about her past. Are you afraid one of these guys will come back and take her away from you? Are you afraid she's thinking about these exes when she's with you? Has she given you any good reason to be jealous, or for you to think she's not faithful or loyal to you? You say she's a good woman. If so, then what difference does it make how many men she's been with before you? In my opinion, if she's broken contact will all her ex lovers, has been tested fully for STDs and is clean, then the past belongs there. It sounds to me like it's more an issue of your insecurity than her past promiscuity. You can't change her past, you can only change your reaction to it. Is she worth getting past it? If so, then start there. If not, leave her and find a nice virgin.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 06-09-2004, 10:35 AM   #3
Inactive
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: cincinnati Ohio USA
Posts: 652
maak823 HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

23 partners? You don't state your age, but sound as if you are young. I hope you use protection and are regularly HIV tested. As for your problem accepting her past- what difference does it make if she is committed to being with you? We all have a past- as you said you have had 23 different partners, compared to her 5 or 6.

.


Quote:
Originally Posted by junalo
When my girlfriends mentions anything about her past, it annoys me, I get jealous and angry, I know these are signs of immaturity but I just can't help it. I don't know how many people she has been with but my guess would be around 5 or 6 including me at the most, since she has 3 kids from 3 of these guys. I know it's stupid cause I have been with more girls than she has been with guys but I just get jealous and then annoyed at her and don't treat her right until I feel better. She is a good woman, wonderful person, the best woman I have ever been with. I was just wondering, since I am a wondering person, how many partners have you gals or guys had? I've been with 23 females as far as I can remember or want to remember lol!

 
Old 06-09-2004, 10:40 AM   #4
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,639
eightball61 HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

This should be in the Sexual issues board and may get moved.

You have to control yourself. You are feeling this way because she is yours and you don't want to hear about YOUR lady being out with these guys in the past. You have been with 23 which is a large number. You should have nothing to complain about. Just don't make this girl another number to your books.

If you don't like her talking about her past guys then simply talk to her about it. I am the same way and we don't talk much about the past because we look present and future.

Learning her past is not a bad thing but I am sure you can know about other stuff beside these guys. Like where she went, what her friends were like, ect....

 
Old 06-09-2004, 10:45 AM   #5
Inactive
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: cincinnati Ohio USA
Posts: 652
maak823 HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

Jeff-
Do you have a twin and if so where can I look for him?
Very well said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
This should be in the Sexual issues board and may get moved.

You have to control yourself. You are feeling this way because she is yours and you don't want to hear about YOUR lady being out with these guys in the past. You have been with 23 which is a large number. You should have nothing to complain about. Just don't make this girl another number to your books.

If you don't like her talking about her past guys then simply talk to her about it. I am the same way and we don't talk much about the past because we look present and future.

Learning her past is not a bad thing but I am sure you can know about other stuff beside these guys. Like where she went, what her friends were like, ect....

 
Old 06-09-2004, 10:55 AM   #6
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,639
eightball61 HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by maak823
Jeff-
Do you have a twin and if so where can I look for him?
Very well said.

They say everyone has a twin but I am still looking for mine.... You can help if you want but its taken me 22 yrs to do so

 
Old 06-09-2004, 10:56 AM   #7
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: new york city
Posts: 81
junalo HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

I am 28 and yeah I guess is just insecurity from my part. I am not a jealous person at all. She doesn't talk about her past and I am not insecure that someone from her past will come back for her, We are the best thing that has happen to each other as we both tell each other all the time, I am actually not the one questioning her and asking her about her past.
__________________
Junalo

 
Old 06-09-2004, 10:58 AM   #8
Inactive
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: cincinnati Ohio USA
Posts: 652
maak823 HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

LOL, I know what you mean.
You sound like a very well grounded person. Actually- I think he lives with me- I finally found my keeper about a year ago. OR OMG- maybe you are him!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
They say everyone has a twin but I am still looking for mine.... You can help if you want but its taken me 22 yrs to do so

 
Old 06-09-2004, 11:07 AM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 5,545
SophiaM HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by junalo
I am 28 and yeah I guess is just insecurity from my part. I am not a jealous person at all. She doesn't talk about her past and I am not insecure that someone from her past will come back for her, We are the best thing that has happen to each other as we both tell each other all the time, I am actually not the one questioning her and asking her about her past.
The question is: are you prepared to be a father to her three children. And the fact she had them with three different men is not sounding good to me either. How old is she? How can a responsible adult woman have unprotected sex with all these men and let them impregnate her? Am I missing something here? I sure hope that you are in control of the situation and you make sure to use protection, so that you don't become the father of her fourth child before you know FOR SURE that's what you want.

 
Old 06-09-2004, 11:24 AM   #10
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,639
eightball61 HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by maak823
LOL, I know what you mean.
You sound like a very well grounded person. Actually- I think he lives with me- I finally found my keeper about a year ago. OR OMG- maybe you are him!!!

Well tell him I said hi

My mom was strict and I have her thinking so I thinks thats where I may get it. Scary huh...

 
Old 06-09-2004, 11:28 AM   #11
Inactive
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: ma
Posts: 9,639
eightball61 HB User
Re: Unorthodox question but...

Quote:
Originally Posted by junalo
I am 28 and yeah I guess is just insecurity from my part. I am not a jealous person at all.

To be being insecure is part of being jealous. You say you are not a jealous person but you get angry when she talks about these guys. I dont understand how you can be insecure on her relationship in the past. I see you being insecure if she is hanging with guys and going out with them.

I don't mean to give you a hard time but look at it from her angle also. What does she think of you being with majic number 23? I know I would be worrying about being another number.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Should I settle? ladivapr Relationship Health 91 10-29-2004 12:49 PM
Pretty unorthodox Viagra question... :) McBri Sexual Dysfunction Treatment 1 08-21-2004 07:45 AM
Unorthodox method of raising metabolism llbsatcc22 Exercise & Fitness 1 04-11-2004 04:12 AM
Nail Polish Fumes - Need Help Quickly Kaia_27 Beauty & Cosmetics 3 09-05-2003 02:07 PM
THE RUT! kebikun Depression 3 07-18-2003 08:32 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (274), rosequartz (255), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (160), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (105), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1015), Apollo123 (911), Titchou (861), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (758), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:11 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!