i've been with my bf for a little over a year now. i've also been thru. a couple of bad break-ups before i met him, and do not wish to go back to that dating life-style thing if i don't have to..that is the main reason y i tried everything i could to put up w/ wutever my bf puts me thru. *hoping things will eventually works out* He loves me and we love each other...but as you all know, not everyone has a perfect relationship..or a perfect partner.
so, in my case, my bf has always been into gambling..when i first met him, he wasn't like that...he gave me a good impression of him, i thought he was intelligence like he said he is and a responable grown man since he is a lot older than me.. i trusted him and i felt protected by him in many ways. i felt safe and happy in the first few months of our relationship...but later, i slowly realized he wasn't the person that i thought he was. i found out that he is still immature, irresponsible person i've ever known, doesn't clean up after his mess, worst of all, loves to gamble all his money away... i feel so sad being w/ someone like that..i no longer feel safe with him, because i dont' see a future with someone that gambles crazy with his money. i worried to death everytime he's out gambling. i told how i feel about his gambling habit.. but it doesn't work...!! but he stills love to gamble every chance he gets w/money on his hand...he even borrow my money because he gots no more money to pay his bills..and when he gets money, instead of paying me back or wutever, he will just use it to gamble again... i tried to over look this habbit that he has, because i really really love this man...although he is a gambler, but he is a sweet person, and treats me really good. but then again, sometime i feel that he's being nice to me, because he wants money from me to gamble...or wanted me to finish college so i can take care of him...? he's in his 30's and still lives at home, i'm living in his house right now because i have no more money to pay rent. i feel so depressed and no hope anymore. i always dream to have my own family and my own house. but i don't see that in my future anymore...i quit my job, so i can focus more in school. i have one more year to go to finish school and hopfully if i work hard a few yr after college, i can buy myself a house someday... i see no hope on this man, because he is lazy and do not like to work, he rather gambles to earn money... what should i do? should i break up w/ him because of this?! I love him dearly, but we argued many time when i tell him not to gamble..he said that's his way of make a living, and if i don't like it, i can move on...i guess i'm writting because i really don't know what to do with him anymore...i am so sad, because i just want a normal bf that doesn't gamble like he does, i want a normal life ...but i am stuck with him..i love him still, and i don't think i can live without him.. but i am to the point where i can't deal with his gamble habits anymore...he said if i really have a problem w/ it, then i can just go and find myself a rich bf if i want to...but is really not about that....i just want someone that cares about having a future with me...i'm scared...i don't want to be alone...i got hurt before and i do not know what to do w/ my life anymore.. he's nice to me, he helps me out when i have problems...but he gambles way too much, and doesn't listen to me when i tell him don't!
i guess i'm just here to vent, i don't think anyone can help me here but just to listen..but any inputs would be great too!
You answered ALL your own thoughts and questions. Print out your post and continue to read it -
You say you don't want to go thru all the crap of dating again but you rather go thru the crap of an Immature man who lied to you about Who He really is?
YOU should THANK HIM for allowing you to see him as he truly is and you still have TIME to Leave Him.....
Be grateful - that knowing him for just ONE year you have found all his faults, that's not bad - better to know now then...say, after 5 years, say, if you had thoughts of marrying him or god forbid did marry him and found this out, and of course IF YOU HAD a kid with him....He did you a BIG favor to show YOU his true colores...OH, wait...what do I hear the ramblings of the Slot Machines, scatching the tickets for the big win, favoroite horse coming in...Darn, last place and the Patriots winning the Super Bowl
Take your own bet and Bet that you could find a Better Man then this.
First off, rent the movie suicide kings. Second, you have alot more issues with the relationship other than his gambling. Hes in his 30's still living at home with mom? He consisers gambling his job? He borrows money from you to gamble and does not pay you back when he says he will? You are getting a college education and want a family and kids and a nice home. You know you won't have this with him. You said so yourself. Are you more afraid of being alone for awhile than being miserable with this man till death? If so, maybe you should seek some counseling. Good luck
Theres two words to describe this man. BIG TROUBLE. Sounds to me like he is taking you out for a ride and will continue to do so until you either give him the boot or put your foot down, and i think if you put your foot down he will just move on to the next one he thinks he will be able to milk. I would just send him on his way and not even look back. I can't imagine living with mom at the age of 30, isnt he ashamed of that?? That right there is enough of a red flag to say this guy is not stable. Gambling is an addiction just like any other if not done in moderation. I dont see him stopping any time soon either.
Focus on your career and get yourself a nice man that deserves you. This one just isnt it by the sounds of it. Imagine what would happen if you were married? He'd bury the both of you in debt up to your neck. But it wouldnt affect just him, it would also ruin your credit and ability to own that home you are looking forward to buy after school. Good luck to you!
lol...um...you guys make me laugh at myself...how sad is that?! well, yeah, i'm currently living at his house w/ his mom right now....is really hard for me to move on right now because i won't be able to have money to live on my own..is like i'm waiting for worst to come and push me to move on later or something...he said he's looking for a job, and will be working soon...but i think he just wanted to work so he can have money to gamble again...*sigh*
i have to cut this short because i have to go to my summer school now...he's mom is really nice to me by the way, and i don't know how to move on right now..she kept on calling me his wife....***...ok i'll check this again later...thanks for everyone's replies...i know i'm ***..and stupid...but just kind of stuck...and need you guy's help to make my step of being alone again i guess...*sigh* when am i going to find a right guy?
Its good that we make you laugh because you needed it
Just finish up school, get a decent job, and move forth from there. You don't need a guy at this time. You have many other things going on right now. You will eventually meet Mr. Right but it will take a few Mr. Wrongs to find what you want in Mr. Right.
* Do you have any close family or friend to take you in? if you don't then just don't give him anymore money and milk them by staying over there since he used you. Stay until you are out of school if you have no other choice(but you need to find a way).
Last edited by eightball61; 06-10-2004 at 12:11 PM.