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Old 06-14-2004, 04:28 PM   #1
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AliDawn823 HB User
Help for no contact

What do you guys do when you get the urge to email/call your ex - to keep you from doing it? I need tips!!!

 
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Old 06-14-2004, 04:31 PM   #2
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develon HB User
Re: Help for no contact

just stay buys or else you will go nuts thats my dilemma as well..

 
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Old 06-14-2004, 04:33 PM   #3
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develon HB User
Re: Help for no contact

just stay busy or else you will go nuts thats my dilemma as well..i made the mistake of hanging out with her this weekend for some reason i felt way more attached and it drove me crazy when she left but the other two time i was coo with it. she said things would change but i havent seen any..

 
Old 06-14-2004, 05:35 PM   #4
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Re: Help for no contact

I agree...keep yourself busy and find something new to keep you occupied. Don't get into a rebound relationship. A friend of mine who got dumped recently joined a gym, is getting fit, and feeling good about herself!!!

Oh yeah. Erase his number from speedial, and his e-mail from your address book. Helps control those temptations.

Be patient. Discover and do things YOURSELF that help re-establish who you are and help make you comfortable in your own skin.

DO NOT listen to really sad songs that remind you of him. I did that, and I cried way more than I had to.

RV

 
Old 06-14-2004, 06:13 PM   #5
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Re: Help for no contact

That's a tough one, especially if you live by yourself. It can get so tempting at night to want to call him. Try to think of how it would make you feel afterwards, though. Just try to imagine that you called, had a mediocre conversation, and of course, nothing changed. Or worse yet, imagine that you called and he didn't pick up the phone. You would be driving yourself crazy, wondering where he is and with whom. It's not worth it. Watching tv helps a little, as does reading or surfing the web. Anything that keeps your mind occupied. However, sometimes it just comes down to sheer willpower. Be especially careful during the time of PMS, I've done some incredibly retarded things when controlled by my stupid hormones. Grrr. Talking to a friend on the phone daily is another thing that helps. If you used to talk to your ex at night for example, try calling a friend each night, so the routine is not broken. Hopefully in time it will become easier and that you meet someone else who will be much better than him. I still think about my ex a lot because I have no one else. It's hard but it can be done. And lastly, when you really, really, really get to the point that you just can't control the urge to call, block your number first, call, and after he says "hello," hang up. We've all done it, haven't we? Don't overdo it though. He'll know it's you.

 
Old 06-14-2004, 06:31 PM   #6
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Re: Help for no contact

It's not so much an urge to call as it is to email. I just turn my cell phone ringer off that way I never hear it ring. I'll see I have a message and then call that person back but that way I won't be tempted to pick up if I see his number (of course, that didn't stop me Friday night from calling in a drunken stupor). I do feel much better this week than last - I guess I just need to get used to being alone again.

 
Old 06-14-2004, 07:10 PM   #7
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Re: Help for no contact

Wow, do I know how you feel. My problem is, although he is technically my "ex" we still talk everynight and say I Love you everynight. I try my best to not be the one that calls and he will call me. Maybe a total of a week (not days in a row) in 3 1/2 months have we not talked. I am still hoping there is a chance for us, but he isn't ready to be back together right now (although he doesn't want me to give up) My other post Can't let go explains all that more
Anyway...everyonce in awhile I just lose my willpower and call..and like someone else said, when he doesn't answer you just end up going crazy. And PMS...boy does that do crazy things to us. I actually was proud of myself all week..didn't call him...but then I broke down Saturday and had to. I guess since I get up early work out, work all day during the week I come home and can lay down and fall asleep. On the weekends my mind isn't occupied enough and I just feel consumed by my thoughts of him. Sometimes e-mailing is better than calling...then he can read it and if he misses you maybe he'll go back and re-read it again. But...don't over do it.

 
Old 06-14-2004, 08:20 PM   #8
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Re: Help for no contact

The urge to email drives me crazy. I travel for work and today, while I'm out of town, my laptop died on me. So, I won't be able to check my work email all week as I am using another computer that isn't configured for me. So, I emailed him from my personal account so he would know and not think I'm totally ignoring him if I don't get back to him all week (which would be a good thing actually). Not 2 minutes after I sent it, I regretted it but can't recall the email.

 
Old 06-14-2004, 08:41 PM   #9
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Re: Help for no contact

Nice...........you email is down for a week. That will help.

You need to stay busy. If you are having these urges at home then leave the house. If you dont' want to then unplug the computer and store it away then disconnect all your phone.

The plan is sty busy....Best thing is away from your house.

 
Old 06-14-2004, 11:21 PM   #10
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Re: Help for no contact

Quote:
Originally Posted by AliDawn823
It's not so much an urge to call as it is to email. I just turn my cell phone ringer off that way I never hear it ring. I'll see I have a message and then call that person back but that way I won't be tempted to pick up if I see his number (of course, that didn't stop me Friday night from calling in a drunken stupor). I do feel much better this week than last - I guess I just need to get used to being alone again.
Did you speak to him when you called on friday, or did he not pick up the phone? If you did speak to him, what did he say? Just curious. Oh, yeah, and with the email thing, you can always just type it and save it as a 'draft', without sending it to him. Read it again the next day and you will experience the state of horror at the very thought you were even contemplating sending it to him. Yep, thank god for the "drafts" folder!

 
Old 06-15-2004, 06:52 AM   #11
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Re: Help for no contact

I know this dilemma well. Personally, I imagine the guy sleeping with another miscellaneous girl. It's not pleasant, but it makes me feel like I am less of the equation. Then, if I find out that I was right, I'm also not shocked. It also makes me focus on meeting new people and taking care of myself. Here's how my thought process goes:

"Since he is so busy ba**ing that girl..."

...I should really buy myself this $200 pair of shoes...

...I should get together with my girlfriends and leave for that weekend we'd all talked about going on...

...I should get my head out of my a**

...I should give that other guy a call...

...It's not my problem anymore...whew!!! That calls for a party at my house!

 
Old 06-15-2004, 07:16 AM   #12
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Re: Help for no contact

Sophia, I'm not really sure if he picked up the phone or not. I was out at the bar when I called and, after dialing his number, I got distracted and thought I had terminated the call but I didn't so I'm not sure if he picked up and just heard me talking or if his voice mail got it. We haven't spoken on the phone since we broke up.

 
Old 06-15-2004, 08:15 AM   #13
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Help for no contact

Quote:
Originally Posted by AliDawn823
We haven't spoken on the phone since we broke up.

And that is a gfood step to the healing process. Now you need to learn how to hold yourself back from emailing him.

 
Old 06-15-2004, 08:20 AM   #14
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Re: Help for no contact

I know!!!! It's so hard!!

 
Old 06-15-2004, 08:23 AM   #15
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Help for no contact

Quote:
Originally Posted by AliDawn823
I know!!!! It's so hard!!
You need to stop thing that will keep you from thinking of him.

Do me a favor.......For one week don't come here. Durning that week your emial is down also. This week will give you a good lift if you can do it. You need pressure yourself into it like learning how to ride a bike the for the for time. Find other means to keep you busy.

 
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