What do his messages mean anyway? - Relationship Health Message Board

RosaMay · 07-12-2004, 11:58 AM

There's this guy I was seeing for about seven weeks. Some of you may remember me posting about this shy guy, who was slow to kiss etc. To put it short and sweet, the whole thing did not work out, it was just too strange and lethargic. There was a rumor out that he were a closet gay and maybe he was too.
What bugged me the most in him was him being so impersonal and quite inconsiderate, even rude to me sometimes. I believe it's the same thing with other people, so I didn't take everything personally. (A friend of his once made a comment about his behavior towars other people, I thought it was a joke but I can see it wasn't) However when he left me alone on a day that was important to me, I thought I've had enough. He never said anything specific, over the phone he just blurted out "I thought I'll go to X tomorrow" (instead of being with me)... grrrr!
It occured to me that he never probably cared the s*it about me and so I thought I'd never want to see him again!
I did not confront him because I felt like I had nothing to accomplish by that. You can't change someone else. You can only try to change yourself, and event that is not easy...
I just let things take the natural course and so our "relationship" basically just fizzled out in a gracious way. He has not called me to ask me anywhere, instead he has sent me these highly impersonal SMS messages once or twice a week in which he does NOT even ask "how are you", just basically sends greetings somewhere or says something so general and trite. I always reply with a nice enough message, but say nothing too encouraging. I wonder why does he send me these messages? They are sooo impersonal. Last time I tested his reaction by telling him I'm sick with a flu (which is true) but never got a "get well" message (or ANYTHING) back. I had already been thinking I could be friends with him, but seeing how little he cares, I thought, NEVER.
So why do you think he sends these messages?

What does he think he'll accomplish by them?
Does he just want to test his cell phone or what?

I'm asking this because I really don't understand him at all, and I have never before met a person who acts this way!

brandy82 · 07-12-2004, 12:03 PM

It sounds to me like this guy is a player. I'm sure he probably has other girls that he does the exact same thing with. If not that, then he is afraid of relationships in general. In my opionion, if he doesn't even care that you're sick...who cares if he sends messages?? Who cares why? Take the upper hand and just tell him how you feel. Once he knows how you feel, and still acts the same way, then he's just a jerk who doesn't deserve your time.

eightball61 · 07-12-2004, 12:07 PM

Males are an amazing but confusing species. Its hard to determine if he may be straight or not. With all this though the best bet is to just stay away from a guy like this. All they will do is bring you down....Sorry it ended but you will find better.

SophiaM · 07-12-2004, 12:21 PM

Hey RosaMay! Well, if he can't even say something like "I hope you feel better soon," then I say screw his little pathetic messages. just ignore them, you don't owe him any response. why bother?

RosaMay · 07-12-2004, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brandy82

It sounds to me like this guy is a player. I'm sure he probably has other girls that he does the exact same thing with. If not that, then he is afraid of relationships in general. In my opionion, if he doesn't even care that you're sick...who cares if he sends messages?? Who cares why? Take the upper hand and just tell him how you feel. Once he knows how you feel, and still acts the same way, then he's just a jerk who doesn't deserve your time.

That's an excellent point. My biggest fault is that I'm too NICE!!!

I'm also curious as to why people act certain way. I was thinking maybe I could be friends with him (never more) but if he doesn't care if I'm sick, he doesn't deserve my time.