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Old 07-13-2004, 03:57 PM   #1
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boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

My boyfriend of one year is such a frikkin baby when it Comes to things.

For instance,I work in the mornings and I wake up and tell him that its time to get up so that we can go into town,sometimes he wants to sleep longer but he will get up,storm off into the bathroom,get dressed and say lets go and be rude about it and act like I was demanding him to get up.While were driving into town I will ask him whats wrong and he will say nothing but he always says it sarcastically and kinda raises his eyebrows when he says it.Then when we get into town and I ask him what hes going to do today he will say "well I guess I have to go ALL the way back out to my house to go to the bathroom first because you rushed me so much in the morning that you didnt even give me a chance to go the bathroom or even brush my teeth so first I have to drive all the way back home even though my gas is on empty" I tell him to come in and use mine but he says "No,I wouldnt want to bother you" He gives me the hugest guilt trip all the time about EVERYTHING.Then today we were at his house and he said he was going to stop at the bank to see if his check was in and we were driving and then we passed the bank and I asked him why he didnt go see if his check was in and he slams on the breaks,and says "It wont be in until tonight,I told you that but Ill go check just to make YOU happy" He told me it was already in there and he still gives me a guilt trip and makes me feel like Im a frikkin gold digger.He wasnt always like this just in the past few months and I told him he needs to stop being such a baby or Im gone because Im nineteen and theres plenty of fish in the sea for me.I told him the other day that if he didnt go take anger management classes then I was gone so he agreed but he still acts like a baby about the dumbest things.And when something goes wrong in his life he seriously cant deal with it.One time his truck stalled (whos vehicle hasnt stalled?) and he was literally sweating bullets because he was so stressed,he cannot deal with stress in the least but he doesnt think he has a problem so he wont get help.

I love him to death and I want to help him but what can you do for someone when they think what they do is normal?

 
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Old 07-13-2004, 04:10 PM   #2
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Maybe is id doing this for self pitty or attention. that also can get very aggravated easily. I find myself getting very aggravated over little thing like this in your post. Its hard to tell what it may be.

For me though I hate being to to do something or having things told to me several times. This is something I have to work on because I do find it putting me in bad moods. I am taking the stab that this may be the case.

I am not going to offer advice to leave or stay but he has to realise what he is doing to you and make a change.

 
Old 07-13-2004, 04:33 PM   #3
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

He sounds really fun!! Stay with him,and you will be a great mommy someday. Having been through some MAJOR bad times in my life, I can ony imagine what he will be like when facing things like death, illness, and all the joys that come with being a grown up.

 
Old 07-13-2004, 06:49 PM   #4
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Ruth6:11 HB UserRuth6:11 HB User
Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

You don't mention how old he is, but I know for sure he's too young for you to be living with him.

He's reacting to you as if you were his Mother - personally I'd make sure he had his own alarm clock and quit enabling his poor work habits. Let him get chewed out for being late. It's his responsibility whether you're living together, living apart, or married.

If you're living together with the thought of a "trial marriage" I'd suggest that this guy isn't a good match for you.
If you're living together "for awhile" then it may be time to move out and meet someone who shares more of your values and ethics.
There's more to the Right Person than whether you love them....

 
Old 07-13-2004, 07:21 PM   #5
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Stress is contagious....and he's passing it on to you. You are far too young, with too many possibilities to waste your time dealing with this. Cut your losses and find someone else. Love is great, but it's not going to change his behavior. Only he can do that and up until now he's made it clear that he's staying the way he is....Good luck!
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Old 07-13-2004, 07:56 PM   #6
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

My ex began to behave this way when he had decided he didn't want me anymore, only he forgot to tell me. Nothing I ever did was right, every question was a nag, and an irritation. In my case I think he was partly just sick of me and didn't have the maturity or the stones to end it, and partly he was trying to chase me away, again because he didn't have the stones to leave. Also, he was under a lot of stress and going through a hard time career wise and didn't like his living situation at the time. In any case, keeping someone walking on egg shells and making them feel like they can never make you happy, is commonly considered by most psychologists as a form of mental abuse. If you really want to hang in there a little longer, ask him if something's bothering him that he can talk about. If he says everything's fine, then there's not much you can do. Your choice is to continue to weigh and measure everything you say and live your life with a knot in your stomache constantly worrying how or when you're going to set him off, or you can leave.

 
Old 07-14-2004, 06:36 AM   #7
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Committed, I won't offer any opinion or comment on your boyfriend because he is not the one writing and you have no power to change any observations I might make about him, anyway. You know exactly what you are dealing with with him.

As someone else noted, stress is a killer, in more ways than one and you are way too young to invite stress into your life as a daily fixture. It is clear that having this guy in your life will most definitely bring stress as a daily fixture.

The more you stay with him and play the game you reinforce your willingness to grudgingly accept his behaviors. You can only hope to stop them if you stop the acceptance. Make a hard decision and stick with it until he takes responsibility and modifies his behaviors or until you decide enough is enough.

 
Old 07-14-2004, 06:37 AM   #8
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

You're only nineteen....?...DUMP HIM AND GET OUT AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

 
Old 07-14-2004, 08:13 AM   #9
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Quote:
Originally Posted by vintagegirl
You're only nineteen....?...DUMP HIM AND GET OUT AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!!!!

Being with a younger girl and being young myself I have learned a lot. At first I wanted her to myself and never wanted her to do much because I was freak and very jealous.

Overtime, I learned from myself that I was selfish and a jerk. I did something most people cant and thats notice that I have a problem and needed help. Today I am more open to things....I will admit I am still a bit insecure but if I want things to work the way I want them to then I can not be that way. We are human and shouldn't be trapped up or be force to feel like crap from someone else. We should be happy in a relationship and enjoy out lover.

 
Old 07-14-2004, 08:41 AM   #10
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth6:11
There's more to the Right Person than whether you love them....
That is so true..

 
Old 07-14-2004, 08:52 AM   #11
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth6:11
There's more to the Right Person than whether you love them....
Please, before the moment is gone, someone run over to Ruth's house and present her with the coveted Truer Words Were Never Spoken award.

How many a self-esteem and self respect has been buried beneath the "feelings" laden "but I love my man" mindset. Yes, Tina, what does love have to do with it?

 
Old 07-14-2004, 08:56 AM   #12
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Does he have a job? If your getting up in the morning to go to work WHY ISN'T HE!!!!?????? If I were you, I wouldn't put up with the abuse. I know you are young and when women are young they have a habit of taking alotta crap. When you get older and wiser, you don't take as much. Take it from someone that is 40, DON'T TAKE ANY CRAP!!!!!!! Talk to him and lay it on the line. Be nice and factual when you talk to him, because if you sound mad, he will get defensive. Ask him if he wants out, ask him if he still loves you, ask YOURSELF if you want to put up with his moods and then make the decision to stay or go.
You are correct in the fact that you are too young and there are many other fish in the sea. Take advantage of those fish! It sounds to me like he has some anger management/stress issues and just like an alcoholic, he needs to admit he has a problem and then maybe get some help. In the meantime, DON'T TAKE ANY CRAP!!!!

 
Old 07-14-2004, 03:52 PM   #13
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Thanks for all the replies.

I ended it today....finally.

I dont need that crap in my life,especially from someone I didnt see myself with in a few years.Your replies really helped me out and I will read them whenever I feel like I need the help.Hes got too many issues and not enough balls to admit that he needs help.Hes been so rude lately and I didnt really see it as mental abuse until now,he was very abusive,he made me feel abd all the time and he would always ask me how he looked and no matter what I said he woulod get mad.I dont need that and now hes lost the best thing that ever happened to him.I need a man,not a little boy.

Thanks again,I appreciate the comments

 
Old 07-14-2004, 03:59 PM   #14
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

Quote:
Originally Posted by commited
Thanks for all the replies.

I ended it today....finally.

I dont need that crap in my life,especially from someone I didnt see myself with in a few years.Your replies really helped me out and I will read them whenever I feel like I need the help.Hes got too many issues and not enough balls to admit that he needs help.Hes been so rude lately and I didnt really see it as mental abuse until now,he was very abusive,he made me feel abd all the time and he would always ask me how he looked and no matter what I said he woulod get mad.I dont need that and now hes lost the best thing that ever happened to him.I need a man,not a little boy.

Thanks again,I appreciate the comments
He will one day figure it out that acting like a baby and making people feel bad is not the way to keep a girlfriend. You may have done the right thing and I am glad to see that you seem ok by this. If you need any guidence we are here to help you...

 
Old 07-14-2004, 04:56 PM   #15
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Re: boyfriend acts like a baby,should I ditch him?

WTG!!! you are right , never ever settle for abuse!!!

 
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