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Old 08-07-2004, 12:07 PM   #1
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jet0002 HB User
No one to turn to...

Like the last post, this is about my ex. I have posted about the situation before and there is more to tell now and I am badly in need of some advice. My girlfriend of over 2 yrs broke up with me 5 months ago supposidely to get back with her ex, which I heard never really happened. We were back and forth for about a month and then no contact for a month. Then we saw each other about 2 months ago and had sex. Since then we have had little contact. Then a week ago she called me and left a voicemail and sounded upset. She said she really wanted to talk to me, etc. I did not have my phone on for a week so i didnt get the message until 5 days later. Then two days ago she calls me and asks me to hang out. I meet her and we talk, hug, and make out. Then last night she calls me again. I meet up with her and her friends at a bar and everything seemed fine until she asked me to make out with her in front of some co-workers of mine to makke them jealous.I told her it wasnt appropriate since we weren't even together. She got mad and left with her friends. I dont think solely because of that reason. Then two hrs later i went to a party and see her ex at her house! Are you kidding me?? I love her so much and thought maybe we might be slowly trying to recindle our relationship. I just dont know what to think. Should i call her and see what the deal is or just accept that i mean nothing to her and i should just move on. I have such strong feelings for this girl. She was my first love and i cant imagine being with anyone else. I have tried so hard to get over her and it doesnt work. I am so depressed about this situation and so confused. What should I do??

 
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Old 08-07-2004, 01:29 PM   #2
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Re: No one to turn to...

What I think you should do is meet up with her, just you and her in a PUBLIC PLACE (so you don't make-out) and talk to her about what is going on. Ask her what her intentions are with you, if any, and let her know how you feel. You need to communicate with her and put it all on the table. Have a long hard talk face to face about where the two of you stand and where the two of you go from here. Keep us posted.

 
Old 08-07-2004, 01:34 PM   #3
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promisez HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

What elatedgiraffe said

 
Old 08-08-2004, 02:01 AM   #4
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Ninispjc HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

I'm a little confused as to why she would want to make your co-workers jealous? That sounds a bit childish to me. And I agree that you should just have a sit down with her and tell her honestly how you feel and ask her where she is.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 07:41 AM   #5
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eightball61 HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

I think you said the right thing. It was her loss to walk out with her friends like that. This girl seems like she is dragging you on like extra luggage for some reason. You have done nothing wrong at this point but she is just leading you on and its a hard time to get over her because of that. Best thing to do is just stay away.

Last edited by eightball61; 08-09-2004 at 08:56 AM.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 08:08 AM   #6
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newlywedgurl HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

I read posts on these boards repeatedly from people who were in a relationship that ended (for whatever reason) and then they end up missing the other person and getting together. I can completely understand that.....

What I CAN'T understand is why people insist on rushing back into the physicality of the "relationship" part but they can't even carry on a conversation with each other?! Why do that to yourself?! I mean, if my ex calls me and wants to get together....fine! (This is hypothetical, of course, since I'm SO married now! ) I'd get together with him, hang out, whatever. BUT I'm NOT ABOUT to get physical with this guy....EX OR NOT....that can't even sit down and talk to me. If the time isn't right to have that conversation yet....then it certainly isn't time to be getting all smoochy. Not only is it confusing....BUT if you ever DID have the intention of getting back together with this individual...draw the line!! They aren't back together with you? Then they aren't entitled to touch you in that way.
Thems da rules!! It's the old Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free deal. Why are they going to get back together with you if you are giving them all the "perks" (hehe...no pun intended) for free?!

 
Old 08-09-2004, 08:16 AM   #7
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maak823 HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

Unfortunately, I think this girl is using you, if you feel it necessary then approach her with your feelings just so that you can get it out of your system. I would be aware though that it seems she can be somewhat manipulative- I would watch for that in the sense that she could convince you that she is being sincere and trick you into staying along for HER ride.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 09:01 AM   #8
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eightball61 HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

Quote:
Originally Posted by maak823
Unfortunately, I think this girl is using you, if you feel it necessary then approach her with your feelings just so that you can get it out of your system. I would be aware though that it seems she can be somewhat manipulative- I would watch for that in the sense that she could convince you that she is being sincere and trick you into staying along for HER ride.


hey maak823, I do agree with your post but I don't think he should go over his feelings with her. If I remember right she allready knows but still finds ways to lead him on. I don't understand this concept and maybe she is just the type that needs a boy around her at all times. This guy will see her and she disappears without a trace for weeks. I really feel bad for him on this one. All in all I think he should just stop all communication.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 09:09 AM   #9
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maak823 HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

Hey Jeff-
True, I feel bad too, however; I don't think that he will just cut off the communication, he wants a relationship with her badly. I guess what I meant was- put it on the line- "Look, I really care about you, but I know you are using me- here is why" type of conversation and leave it at that, just to put an end to it for his sake.


Quote:
Originally Posted by eightball61
hey maak823, I do agree with your post but I don't think he should go over his feelings with her. If I remember right she allready knows but still finds ways to lead him on. I don't understand this concept and maybe she is just the type that needs a boy around her at all times. This guy will see her and she disappears without a trace for weeks. I really feel bad for him on this one. All in all I think he should just stop all communication.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 09:17 AM   #10
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eightball61 HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

Quote:
Originally Posted by maak823
Hey Jeff-
True, I feel bad too, however; I don't think that he will just cut off the communication, he wants a relationship with her badly. I guess what I meant was- put it on the line- "Look, I really care about you, but I know you are using me- here is why" type of conversation and leave it at that, just to put an end to it for his sake.

He will eventually wake up and realize this girl isn't worth the time. Most of us has been through what he is going through. Trust me I can relate but after you go through it once then you realize what a fool you are and have a different outlook....Hopefully thast works for him.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 09:25 AM   #11
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promisez HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

I hate to tell you guys but if a girl blinks at you twice it does NOT mean you have a relationship. A relationship is two people who care for each other. If you can't say that the love goes BOTH ways you are friends, aquaintences or using each other. Just because one has attained the age that they can spell r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p does not mean they are in one at the first sign of a smile.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 09:31 AM   #12
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susieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB Usersusieq0726 HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

I don't know about the rest of you, but what was she doing in a bar? She sounds like she acts like she's in Junior High School!! PLEEEZZZEEE!!!??? Make out with me in a bar to make people jealous!? I did this at a Soc Hop in the 7th grade!

 
Old 08-09-2004, 07:01 PM   #13
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solcita HB Usersolcita HB User
Re: No one to turn to...

Quote:
Originally Posted by maak823
Unfortunately, I think this girl is using you, if you feel it necessary then approach her with your feelings just so that you can get it out of your system. I would be aware though that it seems she can be somewhat manipulative- I would watch for that in the sense that she could convince you that she is being sincere and trick you into staying along for HER ride.
I agree with this. I would just let her go... but I know that you might stay with the what ifs forever, so if you really need to open up with her and let her know everything you feel and think, then be my guest... but I really believe you should start looking in a different direction...

SOL
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* Excuse my sometimes poor English, it's not my primary language *

 
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