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Old 08-08-2004, 12:04 PM   #1
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Keb5890 HB User
Do I have reason to be mad???

I think the vacation from hell is about to start WEDNESDAY. My boyfriend invited me to go to miami with him this summer, so I accepted...( take note, I paid for my own plane ticket as well) Well his uncle inwhich we are staying with has 2 houses, one in Miami and one in Stuart beach. Well my boyfriend who beforehand told me we would have transportation to his uncles house is now saying he doesnt want to impose on his uncle and ask him to pick us up at the aiport. Although his uncle has more money than one can imagine, more than one vehicle, he doesn't want to ask him to pick us up, or leave a vehicle to drive. So we are now having the problem of transportation. We have initated a plan to take a cab from airport to greyhound station, ( ticket for greyhound is 50) and then take a greyhound to stuart and then take another cab to his house. By the way this is all from the hours of 11pm-6am. not really the time of night id like to be traveling, specially in Miami. Do you think Im being selfish to not see why his uncle couldnt just pick us up at the airport? We could even wait there overnight, for him. Please tell me what you think! Also now my boyfriend is tellng me he doesnt want to ask his uncle for his car when we get there, so I guess we will have to take cabs everywhere.

Also the drive from the airport inwhich his uncle would have to go is about 45 minutes. He said that he doesnt want to stay at the house his uncle is working at in miami ( hes a doctor), because the apartment is small and he doesnt want to bother him. If I would of known all this, I would of never agreed to go!

Last edited by Keb5890; 08-08-2004 at 03:17 PM.

 
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Old 08-08-2004, 12:46 PM   #2
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seawater HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

I wouldn't be happy. If he is willing to offer you a house to stay in, it seems logical that his uncle would be more than happy to give you a vehicle if your boyfriend would just ask.

To me, it feels like something else is going on that your boyfriend isnít telling you. Maybe he had a falling out with his uncle?

I would get this straightened out before I left. You might just want to rent a car at the airport so that youíll have transportation during your stay. And donít forget to bring proof of insurance from your own vehicle even if you are planning on getting full coverage.

I wish you luck.

 
Old 08-08-2004, 03:02 PM   #3
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Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Quote:
Originally Posted by seawater
I wouldn't be happy. If he is willing to offer you a house to stay in, it seems logical that his uncle would be more than happy to give you a vehicle if your boyfriend would just ask.

To me, it feels like something else is going on that your boyfriend isnít telling you. Maybe he had a falling out with his uncle?

I would get this straightened out before I left. You might just want to rent a car at the airport so that youíll have transportation during your stay. And donít forget to bring proof of insurance from your own vehicle even if you are planning on getting full coverage.

I wish you luck.
Thanks so much for replying! Well, Renting a car would be no problem, but in the state of Florida you have to be 25, my boyfriend and I are only 20. Trust me, If we could rent a car this would be the perfect solution. Also, my boyfriends parents do not like me, they never have, although I have met the people twice. Do you think this has anything to do with it? Also I think his uncle would be more than happy to pick us up, I just dont understand the problem!

 
Old 08-08-2004, 03:48 PM   #4
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Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

You have me stumped. How much was your plane ticket and can you get a refund?

Vacation's are supposed to be happy!!

We went to Cancun once. My husband had epilepsy. I was terrified that he would have a seizure and that he would be hauled off to some hospital in a country where I couldnít even speak the language. We cut our losses and left.

If you feel like this now, I wouldnít go! Do you really think that it will get better?

Talk to your boyfriend! Heís the only one with the answers.

 
Old 08-08-2004, 04:09 PM   #5
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Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Quote:
Originally Posted by seawater
You have me stumped. How much was your plane ticket and can you get a refund?

Vacation's are supposed to be happy!!

We went to Cancun once. My husband had epilepsy. I was terrified that he would have a seizure and that he would be hauled off to some hospital in a country where I couldnít even speak the language. We cut our losses and left.

If you feel like this now, I wouldnít go! Do you really think that it will get better?

Talk to your boyfriend! Heís the only one with the answers.
Our plane tickets were 450 for both, and we ordered them from "cheap tickets" so there is no refund! I understand where he is coming from on now wanting to impose on his uncle, but Im sure his uncle would find a way to pick us up without a problem. Do you think there is more to this story than what I know? Who knows if his parents know that he is taking me? Needless to say his mother is bitter. She is the type of person that no matter how nice you are to her, she just continues to be her bitter self. It's really a shame that I can't have a good realtionship with his family, because In return I would treat her just as she was my own mother.

 
Old 08-08-2004, 04:26 PM   #6
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promisez HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Sounds like it's gone from a planned vacation to a "what should we do now on a minute by minute time plan". Unless you have an extra thousand dollars to pay for a hotel for the night and a full fare ticket home for yourself I wouldn't play into this game.

 
Old 08-08-2004, 07:05 PM   #7
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Keb5890 HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Quote:
Originally Posted by promisez
Sounds like it's gone from a planned vacation to a "what should we do now on a minute by minute time plan". Unless you have an extra thousand dollars to pay for a hotel for the night and a full fare ticket home for yourself I wouldn't play into this game.
I dont really see it as a game, I think once we finally do get to his house, everything will be fine. I spent over 200 on a ticket and to me thats a lot of money, maybe to some people it seems like pocket change.

 
Old 08-08-2004, 07:22 PM   #8
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Legally_Brunette19 HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Hi Keb, well to tell you the truth I think you are over-exagerating the situation. First of all it is very nice of his uncle to have you both there, and it being your vacation (not the uncle's) I'm sure you can cover your cab fares and stuff like that, it being that your boyfriend doesn't want to impose, which I think is just fine, he doesn't want to bother his uncle anymore than he should. Now vacations are vacations and if you are stressing without even being on the plane, maybe you shouldn't go, it seems like u'd probably end up fighting with your bf most of the trip if you put that attitude on. My advice, enjoy urself, stop worrying and reading things into everything, try to have some fun! And it's true, once you're a guest you shoudn't impose more than the necessary, since if u asked everything out of the uncle it might seem to him like you are taking advantage of him and his money, and maybe that's just what your boyfriend want to avoid, i say good call!

 
Old 08-08-2004, 07:44 PM   #9
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Keb5890 HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Legally_Brunette19
Hi Keb, well to tell you the truth I think you are over-exagerating the situation. First of all it is very nice of his uncle to have you both there, and it being your vacation (not the uncle's) I'm sure you can cover your cab fares and stuff like that, it being that your boyfriend doesn't want to impose, which I think is just fine, he doesn't want to bother his uncle anymore than he should. Now vacations are vacations and if you are stressing without even being on the plane, maybe you shouldn't go, it seems like u'd probably end up fighting with your bf most of the trip if you put that attitude on. My advice, enjoy urself, stop worrying and reading things into everything, try to have some fun! And it's true, once you're a guest you shoudn't impose more than the necessary, since if u asked everything out of the uncle it might seem to him like you are taking advantage of him and his money, and maybe that's just what your boyfriend want to avoid, i say good call!

Thanks so much for the advice! I feel so much better after reading this. I have been stressing myself out so much about transportation issues! I understand what you are saying. I just was/am worried about taking a bus through downtown Miami in the middle of the night. This may be a very ignorant commet, but my boyfriend and I are both from towns in the middle of nowhere. We have never experinced harm or bad things. The media portrays the city of Miami to be a dangerous place and I think that is what scared me. Thanks Again!

 
Old 08-08-2004, 08:15 PM   #10
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solcita HB Usersolcita HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Legally_Brunette19
Hi Keb, well to tell you the truth I think you are over-exagerating the situation. First of all it is very nice of his uncle to have you both there, and it being your vacation (not the uncle's) I'm sure you can cover your cab fares and stuff like that, it being that your boyfriend doesn't want to impose, which I think is just fine, he doesn't want to bother his uncle anymore than he should. Now vacations are vacations and if you are stressing without even being on the plane, maybe you shouldn't go, it seems like u'd probably end up fighting with your bf most of the trip if you put that attitude on. My advice, enjoy urself, stop worrying and reading things into everything, try to have some fun! And it's true, once you're a guest you shoudn't impose more than the necessary, since if u asked everything out of the uncle it might seem to him like you are taking advantage of him and his money, and maybe that's just what your boyfriend want to avoid, i say good call!
I agree a 100% with what you said. If his uncle has or has not money, you shouldn't even think about it, it sounds like you think he HAS to borrow you a car or pick you up. I think he already is doing a lot by borrowing the house. I also think that your bf is right by not wanting to stay in the same house than the uncle...
I understand that when you agreed to go you were thinking everything would be easier... but I also think it's unfair to expect everybody to give you everything for free... Try to relax... vacations are to have fun, but also they're not for free...

Sol
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* Excuse my sometimes poor English, it's not my primary language *

 
Old 08-09-2004, 07:05 AM   #11
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eightball61 HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Its a nice place to vacation on the brightside and very thougful for his uncle to ask you guys down there. It seems though your BF is scared to ask his uncle about doing stuff. HE sis invite you both down and that doesn't mean 100% stuff will be free since he has money. Just try to enjoy you stay in Miami. It is such a beautiful place with tons of stuff to do.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 11:16 AM   #12
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Legally_Brunette19 HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Ohh one more thing Keb! I was born and raised in Miami, great city!! Sure there are crimes and stuff, but that's just a part of every big city, enjoy yourself... And it's not like they are hijacking every bus or anything, i'm sure y'll be fine.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 11:29 AM   #13
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alltaken HB User
Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

I'm sorry, did you say this was a vacation?

When I think 'vacation' I think of no worries, no problems. It's one thing to deal with this sort of problem on your own, but to invite your girlfriend along is another thing. What was he thinking?? He certainly doesn't have it together. Tell him, if you're going, that he needs to grow some b@lls and just ask his uncle. Now if he doesn't feel comfortable enough to even ask, then why is he going? Not only that, but why invite someone else along to have to worry about these things that should be insignificant or already planned. Good luck to ya! Let us know when you return and how it went. Hopefully it won't be that big of a deal. Since you're going, try to make the best of it and have fun.


 
Old 08-09-2004, 11:39 AM   #14
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Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Another thing on this is that the uncle invited you both to come down. You both had the choice not to go. I am sure part of the deal was he wasn't going to pay for it all. I am sure you both are young adults or maybe older but old enough to take mature responsibility on handling a vacation for the both of you. That means rental car, site seeing, hotels, and ect. Consider it a bonus if he offered a place to stay or a car to drive.

 
Old 08-09-2004, 12:10 PM   #15
White Sneakers1
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Cool Re: Do I have reason to be mad???

Hi there,

Your boyfriend is 20 years old. Guys on the average just don't pay attention or think to include all the details when it comes to planning like the women do, especially the younger guys. No slam intended here because I love dating men, sometimes even the poor planners (smiling here).

I think it's great that he's included you in his plans - even if they are incomplete. And remember, just because you're dating him doesn't mean he thinks or reacts like you!

So you've got options:

A
If you can't go along with his plans, or if you can't accept that his family dynamics are different than yours (meaning, if he doesn't want to ask his uncle, to him, his reasons are probably valid), then you may want to reconsider. You will have no fun if you are trying to change the way he did things NOW. You will probably be upset with the way he wants things on vacation.

B
However, if you're devoted and care about him just the crazy-poor-planning way that he is, you may want to indulge his vacation and try it his way (poor planning and all) to see how much fun you can get out it despite the different way you would have planned a vacation.

C
Or, you may want to suggest some other ways to plan parts of this trip so you both benefit - meaning, maybe you both can come to a happy decision in the middle about some of the specifics of the trip so it feels more like a planned vacation for TWO, instead of one making all the plans and the other tagging along for the ride.

So, do you have a reason to be mad? I guess it depends on how you look at this situation. I know some guys in their 20's would probably wouldn't have even wanted to invite their girlfriend along - and maybe he has no experience in planning a vacation with all the trimmings. If you can cut him some slack and offer some better ideas for making arrangements, maybe it's not so much as a reason to get mad but a reason to help him figure out how to plan a vacation better.

Good luck!

Last edited by White Sneakers1; 08-09-2004 at 12:15 PM.

 
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