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Old 09-17-2004, 11:17 AM   #1
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micro HB User
How does she move on so quickly?

My ex and I broke up over a month ago. Lately I've been hearing that she got with some other guy. I just don't get it. I just don't get how one can move on so quickly?

I guess people who are so fickle doesn't deserve the love that someone tries to give them. Why does it still hurt me? I thought I got over her? In many ways, I did, but whenever I hear something about her, that'll just cause a rip in my heart. I'm just so envious that she is able to move on without feeling a thing, while I'm left behind suffering.

What can I do to help alleviate the suffering? But note that I'm not dwelling on this 24/7. It's just that at the spur of the moment, I can be feeling stuff like this.

I did go out have fun, hook up with this girl. And right now, we're still together and stuff, but I'm just losing interest. At first I thought I was really into it, but now it's just like there. I don't know what to do...

Please help!

Thanks!

 
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Old 09-17-2004, 11:33 AM   #2
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Join Date: Dec 2003
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eightball61 HB User
Re: How does she move on so quickly?

Hey Micro

It hurts you because you are not over her totally and you can't see her with anyone else except you. Now is the time that you should realize that she has moved on and you need to do the same. Part of the hurt is comeing from because she is with someone and you are not. You dont need to rush into anything and get a girl because of her. If you look for someone make sure it is what you want because it would be fair to them that you went out with them because you wanted a GF.

You have done well for yourself at this point and I am sure it does hurt but in life we learn to move on.

 
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Old 09-17-2004, 12:16 PM   #3
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millpark26 HB User
Re: How does she move on so quickly?

Some people simply need to latch onto another person for numerous reasons. I wouldn't be envious of her ability to do so, though.

BTW, which one of you intitiated the split?

 
Old 09-17-2004, 01:00 PM   #4
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Ninispjc HB User
Re: How does she move on so quickly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by micro
My ex and I broke up over a month ago. Lately I've been hearing that she got with some other guy. I just don't get it. I just don't get how one can move on so quickly?

I guess people who are so fickle doesn't deserve the love that someone tries to give them. Why does it still hurt me? I thought I got over her? In many ways, I did, but whenever I hear something about her, that'll just cause a rip in my heart. I'm just so envious that she is able to move on without feeling a thing, while I'm left behind suffering.

What can I do to help alleviate the suffering? But note that I'm not dwelling on this 24/7. It's just that at the spur of the moment, I can be feeling stuff like this.

I did go out have fun, hook up with this girl. And right now, we're still together and stuff, but I'm just losing interest. At first I thought I was really into it, but now it's just like there. I don't know what to do...

Please help!

Thanks!
I'm sorry you're going through this, break ups stink I know. But it could be she was over the relationship long before it actually ended. We can love someone till the cows come home, but there's no law that says they have to love us back. It just happens that way. Hating her or envying her the ability to move on is what people call "giving her free rent in your head." She's free to go her way, you're free to go yours. I think it's normal to just allow yourself to feel the pain for now, and to grieve a little. Perhaps you're not ready to see other women yet. It's not a contest. Just because she's hooked up with another guy, it doesn't mean you then have to go find another woman to hook up with to be "even." Also, you don't want to hurt some poor unsuspecting girl who may come to care about you very much and then you'll just have to tell her you're not interested in her, you were just using her to get over your last girlfriend. Then you'll make her feel as badly as you feel now, and that's not fair. Perhaps you need to just hang out with the boys for a while, get involved in your life again. All the time you used to spend with your girlfriend, use it to start a new hobby or project you've been wanting to start but put it off, read a book you've always wanted to read but never had the time to, get involved in your life again. You need to get re-acquainted with who you are without her. Once you do that, you'll start to feel normal again, and then you'll be able to emotionally invest in someone else. Good luck to you.

 
Old 09-17-2004, 01:11 PM   #5
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,785
elatedgiraffe HB User
Re: How does she move on so quickly?

Hey-
Everyone here has felt the same way you have at one point or another. First off, how do you know she moved on without feeling a thing? Just because she is dating someone doesn't mean that shes over you. It doesn't mean that she doesn't think about you or still maybe even wants to be with you. Have you ever heard of rebound relationships? Hell, she maybe even dating this guy to try and help herself get over you. You have a girl you have hooked up with so to her that could look like you just moved on also. See, you have someone, but you are still thinking of your ex. It could be the same for her. I'm sure hearing about her stinks...maybe ask your friends not to mention her for awhile.

 
Old 09-17-2004, 10:06 PM   #6
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Posts: 266
micro HB User
Re: How does she move on so quickly?

Thanks guys. Every was well put and I see it all now. And to answer one question raised, she initiated the split.

THANKS>

 
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