It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-09-2004, 05:47 PM   #1
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 21
JandT4ever HB User
Girlfriend Help!

Please read and give me advice on this situation. Give your opinion.

I met this girl online in October 2002 and we've been going out since, so this month is marks our two-year relationship. We had two iffy points in the beginning (year 2003), but we worked it out and stayed together. What is was is that we both had cheated for reasons I won't get into. Anyway, we were always close and talked a lot, but just last March (of 2004) we got closer than we've ever been. We were talking on the phone and talking online on AIM all day pretty much. She turned 18 on April 12th, then graduated high school last June. I turned 20 last August 13th. Last summer I introduced her to two of my friends and I became jealous when she made friends with them (because of her cheating awhile ago). We got over it though and I stopped being jealous. We would talk online everyday in the summer almost from about 8am to 7pm or even sometimes 11pm, with exception to a few breaks inbetween. By the way, she lives in PA and I live in CA.

Anyway, she told me she was going to drive out here (to move) and arrive on June 20th. On that day she said she couldn't come because of a spained ankle. Then she said later her mom bought a plane ticket to move out here on August 18th, but again couldn't come because it turned out the ticket was for August 28th. But a week before the 28th my grandmother passed away and I had to stay off line for that week for the funeral and to be with al my family who flew in from all over the United States. So on Friday thee 27th, I get on at night and I have some e-mails from her. The most recent saying she'll be on a plane to CA that next day and that she was giving her computer and screen name to her cousin who I had known about before who lived in PA. She also said to let her "settle in" CA and stuff and then she'll contact us to meet. By the way, she lived with her mom and stepdad in PA and she's living in Fresno with her dad now (which is two hours away from me).

Well September was a bad month for us because of family issues and we kinda drifted apart because we never talked and when we did it was in e-mails and we would just fight. I kept telling her I wanted us to meet and saying we have to now; she agreed twice, we set up a meeting place, but she stood me up both times. She said se was sorry and she did it because she wasn't ready to meet me because she had a lot of stress and anger in her life then. her cousin told me she was a little scared to because of my friends (see, one of my friends told her she shouldn't be with me and that he wanted to screw her...yeah, I know some friend, eh? But that's another thread) and stuff. Well that made her not trust him, understandably. So I said I would go up to Fresno, but she never gave me a place to meet her eventhough she always asked me, 'Why don't you come to Fresno to see me?" Now it's been almost two months -- the family issues have settled down and now we both wanna work things out and patch things up that September had damaged. But the thing is, it seems like her idea of working things out is e-mailing each other every few days. She said she was looking for a job for money and buying her own place near me, then we'd meet, but in the mean time now we don't even talk on AIM anymore. I don't even feel like I'm in a relationship now. About the fightng we went through, because everything I was going through I was feeling insecure and I was always saying "are you cheating on me?" and she'd get mad. I apologized and fixed it and she said she understands because she was basically doing the same to me. I miss her so much and I love her with all my heart, and she tells me she does too, but I feel like I'm never going to meet her. I'm so confused and don't know what to do. It's like we were so great for two years and then all the sudden because of other issues I feel like now we've grown so far apart and I don't even know her anymore. We're trying to work things out and get back on track, but I told her it's hard to do that if we can't even talk on AIM. And she said she couldn't ******** because her dad's computer wouldn't let her -- actually, yesterday she said she was gonna try to ******** it.

Anyway, I think that's enough info to have an opinion on this. I just really need some outside help here. If you have any questions to help you understand this situation better just post them here and I'll answer you. Just please post your opinions and whatnot, what I should do and everything. I really need some help. Also if anyone cares to talk about this more privately (like if you have experience or are going through something similar, we can talk on AIM. My AIM name is in my profile.

Thanks in advance.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 10-09-2004, 06:25 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,130
hillaryb HB User
Re: Girlfriend Help!

Run like the wind, something sounds really really fishy here (if not downright scary)!!!!!

She is probably terrified that you will find out she is not who she has said she is (if SHE is even really a she)

 
Old 10-09-2004, 06:27 PM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,130
hillaryb HB User
Re: Girlfriend Help!

Oh, wait, another thing, cause you didnt mention it in your post: have you ever met in person? I was under the impression that you hadnt

 
Old 10-09-2004, 06:45 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 110
Fallen2love HB User
Re: Girlfriend Help!

I think, if I read right, they have meet before, clarification would be nice on that one!!! Maybe [1] she isn't who she says she is, maybe not even in CA ?!?! [2] She really is having alot of issues and is trying to deal with them, and being pushy, or whatever wont help to make her want to be with you onl y push her away. [3] she just flat out doesn't want to be w/ you and just doesn't want to tell you. My best advice would be to just say to her, NAME, I really like you/love you, etc how you feel, but your giving me the impression that you don't want the same thing as I want with our relationship. You want blah blah blah, where she is giving you the impressions of blah blah blah....get my point? I hope so. but yeah...good luck

 
Old 10-09-2004, 07:25 PM   #5
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 21
JandT4ever HB User
Re: Girlfriend Help!

Thanks guys, I'll do that. And no, we've never met in person, I'm/we're trying to do that now. I don't think she's a man at all, that's not even an issue. I mean I've seen her pic AND talked to her on the phone several times, so I know her voice and it definitely isn't that of a man! LOL!!

Anywho, thanks a lot. Replies still appreciated.

 
Old 10-09-2004, 07:34 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,040
realguy HB User
Re: Girlfriend Help!

Don"t wait for her anymore. If she was serious about meeting you , she would have by now.

 
Old 10-10-2004, 12:35 AM   #7
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 110
Fallen2love HB User
Re: Girlfriend Help!

Since you've never meet before, maybe shes scared you wont like her or whatever. Or maybe shes just not in CA, or who she said she was online (via her pic). I'd say forget it, since you've never meet in person, etc.

 
Old 10-27-2006, 12:41 AM   #8
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 20
Candimichelle HB User
Re: Girlfriend Help!

just realized this is an old post

Last edited by Candimichelle; 10-27-2006 at 12:45 AM.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
girlfriend holds grudge and will never let it go. lucky_yang Relationship Health 9 06-18-2009 10:44 PM
Having an anorexic girlfriend - my story KH87 Eating Disorder Recovery 2 12-27-2007 01:04 PM
How to help girlfriend cope with childhood sexual abuse? David_002 Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 6 03-09-2007 09:18 PM
Jealous girlfriend Vyberfox Relationship Health 5 03-06-2007 02:42 PM
I think my girlfriend may be Bi-Polar dogmansa Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 9 02-04-2007 04:19 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added











All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:51 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!